wine – Swimming With The Rain

Life

Ending 2020 With A First Date

February 13, 2021

I had a first date on New Years Eve. But, why is this such a big deal, you may wonder. Plenty of people have dates NYE. Well, being that I haven’t had a date in 2 1/2 years… I like to think it’s because it’s because I made a choice to not date until I moved away from Florida. Then again, it could be because I have a tendency to take an interest in emotionally unavailable men. No, not the married ones. Just the ones that aren’t ready for relationships. Wow! Feels almost liberating to admit that. Anyways, on to my date.

Probably need to add in the other detail about not dating until I left Florida. I knew in my heart in 2018 that I would start my plan to move to Indiana within the next couple few years. Was I really wanting to date someone in Florida knowing that if I fell for them, it could ruin my future plans? I made 2019 all about spending time with my friends and enjoying the single life. So much so that it wore me down by 2020… Probably a good sign.

I have a tendency to refer to dates with “code names”. There was the gay guy, catastrophic adjuster guy, southern boy… You get it. This one is “Train Guy” since he is some kind of Electrical Engineer for the Rail Road.

How do you line up a date in 2020 when you have just moved to a new state, Covid is in full force, and you’re not one to sit at a bar and wait for Mr. Right Now to buy you a drink… Bumble! So, it’s kind of a cool dating site because only women can start the conversation. That doesn’t mean there aren’t creeps… I have been offered to join a marital bed, been told sizes, and asked how I feel about cuddling and showing affection. But, you weed through, have a bit of a conversation, and take a chance.

FYI – If you’re a man and you start your dating profile off with, “My kids are my everything!”, I will move on! Your kids should be your focus, but if you have to admit it, you’re just trying to prove that to yourself. Also, my uncle told me when I was 15, “If a guy has to say that he’s not a pig, he usually is.”

Back to Train Guy… He was actually the first one I started chatting with. We’d chat every so often, nothing major. But, the conversation weaned off when my son was in town, and obviously, he was my focus. A couple weeks pass by and I get a Merry Christmas message and I replied back with the same but no response. Moving on to a Dax Shepard podcast (Armchair Expert – my favorite!) There is a segment with 10 parts about Monica and her getting advice on her dating life. She’s pretty reserved so one of her challenges was to just hand her name and number to someone that she felt a connection with. Hmmm…. I have never done that before. You mean, I should try and put myself out there? And then it clicked. I sent him a message with my phone number and said if it’s easier to communicate that way… Guess what! It was!

We texted briefly throughout the day and he asked if I’d like to meet sometime. I told him that that sounded like a great idea and then he suggested we actually talk on the phone. What?!? So 1990’s! haha If you haven’t dated in awhile, let me explain something… The sound of a voice can make a difference. Have you seen the movie Grown Ups? Remember the scene where the moms are sitting at the water park checking out the hot life guard and when he walks up, his voice sounds like he had just sucked the helium out of the balloon? Luckily, Train Guy had a nice voice and we chatted for about an hour, comparing notes on what we thought of the area (he just moved here, too), and how much he loved Florida. I asked him what his job was and he said that it is hard to explain, but if I’ll meet him for dinner the next night, he’ll explain. I asked if it involved salt and pepper shakers, to which he laughed and said, “Maybe.”

Since I haven’t been on a date in years, I wasn’t sure what to wear. Do I want to impress the guy? Sure! Do I want to look like a floozy? Goodness, no! I texted my good friend, Jenn, for her input and I was lucky enough that her husband threw his in, too… “Straight hair, jeans, white button-up shirt.” Since I don’t own a white button-up shirt and I felt too fat for jeans, I compromised… Straight hair, black leggings, loose brown sweater. Here is why… I decided that I was going to go with what I felt confident in because that is what matters, confidence!

Luckily, he looked like his photos and it was an enjoyable evening. I kept it to one glass of wine while he drank iced tea. (There was a possibility of having to get called in to work due to an impending ice storm.) I already had a feeling that he was somewhat shy, so as soon as we sat down, I handed him the salt and pepper shakers and asked him to tell me about his job. For three hours, we sat across from each other, but I realized later, I didn’t do much talking. If there was ever a lull in conversation and I would look at him, he had a smile on his face and a “smitten” look in his eye. The problem is, I wasn’t giving him back that smitten look.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the evening. Dinner was nice, atmosphere was quite relaxing, the glass of wine deserved to be drank twice, conversation was even enjoyable. What I realized is that we were just having surface conversation and I was asking all of the questions. No, I don’t need to know all about your childhood trauma or reason for divorcing on the first date. But, what I have learned in my years of experience is that I am not a surface level conversation type of gal; I want to know what makes you click.

We texted off and on for the next week or so and he really is a nice guy. Train Guy is one that I would call to go have a beer with, or go walk trails with. Something where maybe there doesn’t have to be a lot of conversation because he does put off a rather calm and peaceful vibe.

Flash forward a month later and I join a hiking facebook group and ask a question about starter trails in the area. Guess who likes my post and friend requests me… Train Guy. So, we know how to find each other but neither of us have reached out and I am perfectly ok with that. He really was a nice guy and a perfect gentleman (made my mother happy) but I didn’t feel like he would be one to appreciate my spontaneity or upbeat mood. I get the feeling he is kind of Eeyorish and maybe he needs someone like me to put a spark in him… Notice I said “someone like me” and not me…

I put a hold on this online dating thing for a bit. I ended up with covid and since I didn’t have anything else to do for 9 days except lay there and think, I realized that I am happy being alone. I’m not ready to give up my evenings of reading after work, or waking up at 6am on Saturday and going to the gym. Would I like someone to go and grab a beer with if the mood strikes? Sure. I’ll tell you what… When my shelf of unread books is empty, I’ll try this dating thing again.

Now every time I hear a train, it’s not him that I think about… I think about how I am strong enough to give myself a chance.

All me

Bucket List Ideas

July 11, 2020

I’m not sure if the term ‘Bucket List’ was used prior to the release of the movie “Bucket List” starring Jack Nicolson and Morgan Freeman, written and produced by Rob Reiner, but it is something that everyone now seems to have. In fact, I have kept a running list on my phone since 2012.

Why on my phone? Because each time I have an idea, I can immediately add to it and the list keeps growing. I have only been able to scratch two things off of there and that has been within the past year (lightning bugs and covered bridges).

So, what’s the difference between a bucket list and goals? To me, a bucket list is something you do that encourages you to experience life and fill your soul with memories, while a goal is something you work toward and even build on.

For instance, with the lightning bugs, growing up out west, we didn’t have these things. Although I had read about these little flying glow sticks in books, heard lyrics about summer evenings being lit up with them in songs, and saw them set the backdrop in movies, they always held a romantic mystery to me. While visiting Ann in Indiana last year, there they were! She caught one for me and put it on my arm and I smiled like a child that had just walked in to Disney Land. I experienced this moment and it was amazing. I was experiencing life!

But, a goal… Now that is something you work towards and even build on. Let’s look at this website I am working on. For most of my life, if you would have asked me, “What is your dream job?”, I would have said, “A photographic journalist”. I had been writing for years, sometimes reading things to people, sometimes keeping my words tucked away. This websites name, I had planned out during the summer of 2018, even checking to make sure it wasn’t in use. But, it took time for me to have the courage to do it and even once I did it, it took strength for me to announce it to the world.

I don’t have the specifics written down of how I want to achieve each Bucket List item… It is generally just a few words about each thing because to me, getting in to too much detail, takes away from the spontaneity of how things are meant to happen. Take the Covered Bridges as an example… I didn’t know how I was going to make it happen, I just knew that I wanted it to. I ended up seeing one from the back of a Harley and another from the passenger side of a Corvette. Now, doesn’t that beat a tour bus? Which, I would done except for some good friends that made it happen.

And now, my Bucket List as of mid-2020…

Visit Atlantic Ocean. I have seen the Atlantic twice – once from a parking lot in Miami and the other from a road in Daytona Beach. I want to actually put my toes in it and feel the sand. Growing up on the Pacific and living on the Gulf Coast, I think it is only suiting to feel another body of water that boarders our amazing country.

Road Trip without a destination. Not the whole Thelma and Louise thing, fyi.

Ireland, Italy, Greece, Holland… Basically all of Europe.

Skydiving.

Gulf of Alaska.

Sex in a hurricane. (Ignore that one, Dad)

Walk Paris streets at night.

Drive a race car.

Grape stomping.

Visit with monks / nuns. I have this desire to be filled with their peace.

~~Covered Bridge.~~

Mardi Gras. I’ve been to New Orleans and I’ve done Bourbon Street. But, I want to experience an actual Mardi Gras with the parades and floats!

Grand Canyon.

Stay at a Dude Ranch.

African Safari.

Broadway show. I’ve seen plays and productions, but I want to be in actual New York City and watch a true Broadway show.

Opera.

Outer Banks.

~~Lightning Bugs.~~

Northern Lights.

See the Pope. I’m not even Catholic and I think it would be amazing to see this world leader.

Zambia 338ft Waterfall.

Ice fishing.

Wild Horses.

Blue Water Paradise in Arizona.

Concert at Redrock.

Stay in a seaside village as a tourist. I already live in one and I am curious as to what it is like to not be a local.

So, what is in your Bucket List? Where do you keep it? If you have not started one yet, start today. It is ok to let your heart dream and wonder, that is what keeps your soul alive and thriving. Make sure to add in simple things like lightning bugs but also far reaching like an African Safari. Doing this ensures that you take pleasure in life’s little gifts but keeps you seeking more. As you add these moments to your life, get lost in your surroundings and soak it up. Because a photo will not truly capture it, but your senses will.

All me

Life Lessons

June 26, 2020

I have a tendency to learn stupid life lessons the hard way. Luckily, I have been keeping track of them for years so that I could one day share with the world. So, here you go. You’re welcome.

#114 ~ When moving a box full of yarn, make sure it is not dangling outside of the box so that it can attach to things.

#118 ~ Don’t wear long sleeves to the gym. It’s hot.

#119 ~ Driving in a small town on Sunday around noon when church gets out, is worse than rush hour traffic.

#202 ~ When the heater doesn’t work and it’s supposed to get to freezing temps, flip the breaker… Ahhh!!! Warmth!

#203 ~ Do not overfill your waffle maker… There will be a mess.

#205 ~ When falling down the stairs first thing in the morning, if you will lean towards one side, it will keep the pressure off your tailbone.

#206 ~ Pay attention when hitting the volume button on your phone a few times because if it is actually the power button, that whole SOS thing will start squawking through the blue tooth. It takes and act of congress to stop it BUT, you will remember who you listed as your emergency contacts in your phone and find out who the first one is to call.

#208 ~ If you are wearing your hat sideways, do not wonder why people are not taking you seriously. (unless it is part of a costume)

#212 ~ If a potential client is using foul words with you, stop. Their business isn’t worth it.

#228 ~ You know you are a parent when the most tearful moment in watching Undercover Boss is when the boss gives money for college.

#311 ~ When you can’t figure out why our new blue ray player won’t connect via wifi and you’re getting ready to call customer support to yell at someone, google the model number first. It’s not wifi capable… It needs land line.

#313 ~ Never throw the dog’s ball off the bed, they will then think it’s play time Especially if it’s a glow in the dark ball…

#320 ~ When not feeling well, make sure that you do not take the crack version of Sudafed before bed.

#322 ~ Always be nice to your clients. You may see them at your son’s baseball game… As the umpire.

#401 ~ If you feel the need to nap on the couch after work, you shouldn’t do it. Because it will be after 11pm, and you will be up doing dishes because you are restless.

#527 ~ Do not eat cupcakes with blue icing…

#604 ~ Getting in to a pool float is not a graceful act.

#615 ~ A flat iron will not warm up if you forget to turn it on.

#625 ~ When your children start staying in bed until the afternoon, you should apologize to your own parents for sleeping in until noon when a teenager on weekends and “wasting away a perfectly good day”. However, I think they should thank me for the quiet time I gave them.

#643 ~ Never take a water pill and then drink a bunch of water when getting ready to make an hour long drive.

#705 ~ Check the weather before heading to the grocery store if it even looks cloudy. Just a couple of sprinkles turned in to a dark sky with a lot of wind driven rain and lightning.

#804 ~ If it is a beautiful day on Saturday, you should go to the beach or get some time in the sun instead of thinking you’ll wait until Sunday. Because Sunday will end up being gloomy.

#807 ~ When babysitting an 8-month old, if they see you drinking out of a water bottle when they wake you up at 2am, they will think it’s their bottle and get upset.

#902 ~ When the ‘check engine’ light comes on, they have a cool thing at Auto Zone to plug in to your car and tell you why.

#917 ~ If driving on a back road that you are not familiar with, always have a full tank of gas.

#919 ~ Do not think that someone is trying to bribe you when they show up with your favorite wine and cookies. Maybe they are just saying congratulations!

#1003 ~ Do not wear high heels to an open house when you have to stand for an hour long teacher variety show.

#1115 ~ A dollar bill (or any bill) is 6 inches!

#1119 ~ Do not force the cork to come out from a wine bottle by pulling too hard. It can hit your face.

#1222 ~ Never leave food dye around teenage boys, they will add it to orange juice and it looks gross!

Health & Spiritual

It’s time to pick your own lane…

June 3, 2020June 3, 2020

Have you ever been driving behind a car for awhile and all of a sudden, you realize that your movements mimic theirs? They move a little to the left, so do you. They veer slightly to the right, you lean to the right. They speed up, your right foot presses the gas a bit. Over and over we do this, often times without realizing.

This was apparent to me while driving to the grocery store after work. I was stuck behind a vehicle that had very exaggerated movements. Turning from Main Street at the traffic light to a side road… He swung wide, I swung wide. Same thing at the roundabout… He went wide, I went wide. With another wide turn in to the parking lot, I giggled when I realized how I was mimicking his driving. Then it’s as if a light bulb flickered inside my brain and I thought, “Is this what we do in life… Mimic those around us?”

My brother’s words from my early driving days came back to me… “You’re like that song, ‘Give me 40 acres and I’ll turn this rig around…’ but you don’t drive a big rig, you drive a small Honda.” In my defense, I had grown up around people that drove pickup trucks so that’s how I honestly thought you turned around… Big wide turns!

Isn’t this what life is sometimes like? Is it perhaps ingrained in to our minds that we are supposed to act a certain way because it fits the status quo? For instance, we should peel a banana fully before eating, only use a certain brand of detergent, always tuck the bottom part of the flat sheet in… When do we stand up and say, “No! I like to only peel the part that I am taking a bite out of, I prefer All over Tide detergent, and I like my sheets untucked!”?

How many of you heard the phrase from your parents regarding your up to no good friends, “If they jumped off a bridge, would you?” Sure, it’s a question, but they weren’t really expecting an answer. Because if we did answer, we would dutifully hang our head and say the obligatory, “No”. (By the way, you get extra points if you said m’am or sir after telling them your answer.) But, in our heads, as the inexperienced children we were, our brain was yelling, “Yes! Because these are my best friends and they will do anything for me!” (You get extra points here if you have ever said this to your own children because now you know better. Ha!)

Now that we are adults, who are we still following behind in traffic? Is it your significant other that tries to makes you realize it’s just easier to go along with their opinion? What about the friend that makes you feel guilty if you don’t feel like painting the town red on a Friday night? Let’s add in the co-worker that always seems to act a bit superior towards your differing work loads. And then there’s the school parents that belittle you for not wanting to take part in the newest fundraiser.

It is time that we learn to drive our own way. Choose a lane and stay in it! As women, we have a lot of life experience. We know how to make choices, we know what type of wine we prefer (Pinot Noir girl here!), we know how to prioritize work, and we know how we like our coffee. So, why would we let someone else dictate our lane? It’s time we speak up and take responsibility for our own lives. Is the person in front of you driving too fast… Then slow down. Weaving in and out of traffic… STAY IN YOUR LANE! Drive at the speed you need to and enjoy the scenery IN FRONT OF YOU.

Ironically enough, while in the store thinking about these things and pushing my cart down an aisle, I was busy looking over to the side and a nice looking distraction caught my eye… Bam! There went my cart right in to the corner of a cookie display. The light bulb in my mind didn’t just flicker… It was as if a brand new stop light had just been installed.

Although those cookies really did look good, I’m trying to be healthy, so I fixed the display and moved along. I made a choice. I left the cookies and went to find the bug spray (trying to get some yard work done and the mosquito’s are just crazy right now). Don’t start looking around while driving, wondering what is out there. Pull over to the side and decide what path you want to take.

We all have choices to make in life. Sometimes we do need guidance, especially when visiting a new place. But, this is our life and it is time we took it back. We can give our opinion and speak up on the way that we expect to be treated. We can choose to stay home on a Friday night and binge chick flicks. We can choose to better ourselves and live a life that WE are proud of!

I am giving you permission to stop, decide if you want to take the scenic route. You don’t have to go in the direction you have always been heading, following someone else, the one they say is the best. Look around, which direction do YOU want to try? Because girl, I am telling you… YOU ARE WORTH IT! Now, buckle your seat belt, put your sunglasses on, and turn your blinker to the direction you want to go!

Health & Spiritual

Pool time = Me time

June 1, 2020

Don’t be jealous when I tell you how I spent my day… Doing absolutely nothing. Ok, maybe only a few hours, but it is exactly what my soul needed.

I’m lucky to have a friends with a pool. I’m even luckier that they are usually travelling during the summer and have entrusted me with watering the plants.

Wait, that sounds bad. I really do miss them and would love to have our evenings on the back porch with a glass of wine (or two or three… bottles). But, the pool needs to get used, right?

So, during the summer weekends, I make time for myself by just floating on the water. And in those couple / few hours, I listen to my choice of music, let thoughts run through my head and stretch out, easing my muscles and tension. When I’m done, I am a more relaxed version of myself with a bit of sun glow.

Do your best to find time for yourself, outside Whether it is sitting in a lawn chair at a park, blanket at the beach, or floating in a pool, we all need moments in nature just to relax and let the tension release from our bodies.

Life

Broken glass and love

May 29, 2020May 31, 2020

Throughout the ages, wine has always brought people together. Once considered a daily necessity in Ancient Rome, it was made available to everyone and not only symbolized life within the community, but it was also looked at with joy, celebration and the blessings from God.

Yet, the glass that we drink wine from is extremely fragile, as are human relationships. Love, like glass, must be protected and treated with special care.

Should you find yourself in a moment where glass has broken, and the previous design is no longer visible… Rearrange the pieces, and create your own unique design.

Because in the world that you have created that is full of love, understanding and happiness, you will also be the one that holds the glue… Bringing broken glass back together…

Entertainment

ABC Thursday Night Power Quotes

May 27, 2020May 31, 2020

A few years ago, I had a friend that graduated from college, just before her 30th birthday. She had done all of her classes online, and since she didn’t get to walk across a stage, I had a dinner party for her. Although she thought it was just dinner and wine to celebrate her accomplishments, it was so much more!

I bought her a cap along with the correct color tassel (I had no idea that was a thing but I guessed correctly) for her to wear throughout the evening. What she didn’t know, was that we had a commencement speech planned.

Her favorite shows all belong to Shonda Rhimes – Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away With Murder. I found the best quotes I could on believing in yourself and cut them in to strips. Each of us read our chosen clips out loud to her, as if we were giving her lessons in life to move forward with. Let me tell you, this is the graduation ceremony that each TGIT fan deserves!

Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. He’s very dreamy, but he’s not the sun. You are. ~Christina Yang

Walk tall. All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought. You loved. You Lost. Walk tall. ~Mark Sloan

There’s an end to every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted. Once all the houses have been ripped apart. The wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop, the sky will clear in an instant. But only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who was strong enough to survive it. ~Meredith Grey

When we follow our hearts, when we choose not to settle. It’s funny, isn’t it? A weight lifts, the sun shines a little brighter, and for a brief moment, we find a little peace. ~Meredith Grey

Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn’t just about being tough – it’s about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. It’s okay to let down your guard. In fact, there are moments when it’s the best thing you can possibly do – as long as you choose your moments wisely. ~Meredith Grey

Knowing is better than wondering. Waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying. ~Meredith Grey

Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here and don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks. ~Cristina Yang

Did you say it? ‘I love you.’ ‘I don’t ever want to live without you.’ ‘You changed my life.’ Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then look around; Drink it in ‘cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow. ~Meredith Grey

If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there. ~Mark Sloan

We don’t get unlimited chances to have the things that we want, and this I know. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life. ~Addison Montgomery-Shepherd

Just when we think we figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find ourselves back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong. ~Meredith Grey

You know as well as I do it’s not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. It’s about having people in your life that you love and who love you. That’s all that matters. ~Miranda Bailey

It’s horrible and it’s sickening and just when you think you can’t take anymore it gets fun. ~Huck

I am many things, stupid is not one of them. ~Olivia Pope

It’s handled. ~ Olivia Pope

Take a breath. Keep your head still, maintain eye contact. Just answer what was asked of you; if you go off on a tangent it will look unreliable. Let’s try again. ~Olivia Pope

It’s okay to be afraid, sometimes fear keeps us safe, sometimes it holds us back. ~Olivia Pope

It was just one of those rare moments. A crossroads where you know, you just know, if you don’t act now, if you let this moment slip away, it will haunt you for the rest of your life. ~Fitz

I’m choosing me. And right now, I’m dancing. Now, you can dance with me or you can get off my dance floor. I’m fine dancing alone. ~Olivia Pope

Whatever you say to the police, can and will be misconstrued to support the prosecution. So when in doubt, shut your mouth. ~Annalise Keating

Never take a learning opportunity from anyone no matter how smart you need others to think you are. ~Annalise Keating

It was just one of those rare moments. A crossroads where you know, you just know, if you don’t act now, if you let this moment slip away, it will haunt you for the rest of your life. ~Fitz

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