A pedicure as the Love Language for TOUCH

I went to get a pedicure today for the first time in probably over six months. I used to be so diligent about it… Every two weeks, I was in a nail salon ready to pick out the same pinkish red color that I had been wearing for forever. Maybe not the exact same shade, but always similar. Only three times did I do a different color – First for my brother’s wedding (late 90’s) and his wife wanted our toes the same color as our dress (baby blue). The second was in 2016… I had picked out my normal pinkish red, but when I told the woman that I had a first date the next night, she told me to do something different and she painted them teal (similar to this color). In her sweet Vietnamese accent she said, “You try this. If he likes, he a good man.” (He did and that lasted 6 months. Maybe I should seek out her wisdom again. ) 2018 was the third time. A bright Baby Blue. It was summer and a friend of mine had her finger nails painted that color and I liked it.

Back to my pedi today… I had spent the morning helping a friend pack and move. While on that side of town, I wanted to go in to my once favorite place. Luckily, they weren’t backed up so I ended up getting a chair within just a few minutes.

This salon which has been my ‘go to’ place, brings me peace. I know that there are others that are newer and shinier, but this place… There is something about the lived in feel, the quiet music that involves chimes, their sun faded posters involving Biblical themes, their cheap gold crosses… “Oh! We haven’t seen you in awhile! Sit, sit!” They always make me feel like they have welcomed me in to their home and WANT to take care of me. It must have been my lucky day because I ended up with the owner and he is usually booked with appointments. Looking at my goose bumped legs, he brought me over a towel to cover up with and I held on as if he had just given me a snuggle blanket. “You close your eyes. You relax.” Then he hit the massage chair button. The tension in my body started to melt away and once I felt those hot water jets hit my feet, the crease in my face started to smooth out. I sat there, holding on to the top of my towel, my reflexes moved my feet where they needed to go, melding in to the feeling of the massage on my shoulders and tightly wound back.

My mind started to wander to a couple of different friends. One had posted months ago about how her love language was touch but since she was single, she didn’t know how to get that language fulfilled. I suggested she go get a pedicure because it had always relaxed me. In my wording to her that day, it reminded me of how many times I had done the same exact thing when I just needed to feel loved, without really realizing why I was going. The thought of her took me to a conversation with another friend a few years prior. We had been discussing what it was like to be deployed and being away from your loved ones and he mentioned that that is why a lot of them will go and get massages. In my typical humor, I laughed and said, “Yah, we all know why they go and get a massage.” My humor was met with a very serious reply… “You know, some peoples love language is touch and just to have someone rub your feet or back, can really help fulfill that.” Those words have stayed with me as a reminder of how powerful touch really is.

When the pedicure was done, he put a hot washcloth that was infused with eucalyptus on the back of my neck. With each pressure his hands gave my neck and shoulders, it heightened the soothing aroma, ensuring my complete relaxation.

When I finally opened my eyes, the world seemed golden and my soul was at ease. I’ve learned my lesson – no longer will I look at these pedicures as too costly or time consuming and I will do my best to make more time for my self care in this way. I can only take as good of care for others as I take for myself.

Ironically enough, when I came home and decided to catch up on a show, those words were said to a character, almost word for word. Thank you, God, for reminding me that I matter, also, and helping me to realize that it is not selfish to give myself self-care.

PS – As you can see below, I went away from my normal pinkish red and stepped out of my comfort zone. I’ve spent my life, especially the last several years, doing what is expected of me. My purchasing style for clothes and decor has always basically been about “function”. I think it’s time that I start with “does this look like joy” when I look at colors for decor and such. And my first step to doing this, is teal colored toes that my kids and boss may shake their heads at. But, that’s ok, because it’s not their toes, right?