quotes – Swimming With The Rain

International Women’s Day

March 8, 2023

Today is International Women’s Day and if you need inspiration for a work meeting or even to inspire yourself, then you are at the perfect place!

After spending a year and a half in an HR position that involved a lot of employee motivation and working one on one with Senior Management with business needs, I began to see a trend with our employees… A lot of these young women lacked confidence in their abilities and were afraid to speak up. I’m not going to lie and say that I am the most confident person. I am finally, on the verge of 50, finding my own voice. This is in thanks to the young women that I worked with on a daily basis, and as I began to stand up for them, I needed to begin to stand up for myself.

Last year to celebrate International Women’s Day, around 15 of us squeezed in to our conference room that was intended for 10 people. Women all giggled when maneuvering around and were excited to have a moment without Senior Management around as intimidation. I started the meeting with telling them how thankful I was for all of them and how each made a difference in my day. I looked at each one and brought up a positive aspect, whether it was the spark they had during the interview, or how they helped out another co-worker. I was vulnerable for a moment and gave a bit of my personal background and assured each one that they had what it takes to succeed. “Because, if I can make it in life, so can you.”

I then brought up six talking points in hopes that it would make a change in our office, and slow down office gossip. It was important for these women to see that if we support each other, we will all feel empowered.

group of people watching gray laptop computer

Celebrate each others strengths and give praise. It’s contagious! I began to see women cheering for each other or walking by someone’s desk telling them “great job” or “thank you”.

Back each other up in meetings. This is a powerful one. During my meetings with Management, I was often the only woman in there. I understood what it felt like to not have an ally.

Include less experienced women in your projects. How else are we going to learn and expand our roles if someone doesn’t teach us?

Be approachable and offer help. One of the best compliments I had from an employee is when she told me that she told another employee, “Go see HR. She isn’t just there to hear work related things. She has really helped me in my personal life, also.”

positive businesswoman doing paperwork in office

Be open about your own vulnerabilities and failings. We think that successful women “just got there” or that they are special. Knowing the lengths that other women had to take to get to where they are inspires other women to know that their hard work will pay off.

Accept and embrace each others individuality. If everyone was the same, how boring would that be? Learn about other people and their cultures, hobbies, lifestyle. Keep learning.

What I did next seemed like a typical move for me, but my employees were not expecting it. I printed out the quotes below and had each one on individual pieces of paper, folded up, placed in a jar. As a firm believer in how things work out the way they are supposed to, I told each lady to reach in and grab the piece of paper that felt right to them and those would be their words. When it was over, it was truly amazing how each woman identified with “their” quote and several of them taped their quotes to their computer monitor as a daily reminder.

Feminism isn’t about making women strong. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength. G.D. Anderson

There is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself. Hannah Gadsby

The most important thing one woman can do for another is expand her sense of actual possibilities. Adrienne Rich

We realize the importance of our voice when we are silenced. Malala Yousafzai

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt

We need to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves. We have to step up as women and take the lead. Beyoncé

I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves.

Every woman’s success should be an inspiration to another. We’re strongest when we cheer each other on. Serena Williams

She wasn’t looking for a knight. She was looking for a sword. Atticus

Above all, be the heroine of your life. Not the victim. Nora Ephron

Girls should never be afraid to be smart. Emma Watson

A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink. Gina Carey

Your life isn’t yours if you constantly care what others think. Unknown

If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it. Margaret Fuller

A successful woman is one who can build a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at her. Unknown

A woman with a voice is by definition a strong woman. But the search to find that voice can be remarkably difficult. Melinda Gates

We all have a ‘Wonder Woman’ inside of us. Unknown

I want every girl to know that her voice can change the world. Malala

Real queens fix each other’s crowns. Unknown

There’s something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. R.G. Moon

A strong woman stands up for herself. A stronger woman stands up for everyone else. Unknown

You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones you see building one another up instead of tearing each other down. Unknown

She overcame everything that was meant to destroy her. Rumi

It’s okay if you fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire. Colette Werden

What’s the greatest lesson a woman should learn? That since day one, she’s already had everything she needs within herself. It’s the world that convinced her she did not. Rupi Kaur

I know what I bring to the table… So trust me when I say I’m not afraid to eat alone. Unknown

Be the woman you needed as a girl. Unknown

And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back, because her passion burned brighter than her fears. Mark Anthony

I left that company seven months later. In fact, so did several other women as they became confident enough to speak up for themselves. The great thing is, I still hear from several of them as they have secured better jobs and found themselves deserving of a better life. I hold each of these ladies dear to my heart and although the company was awful to work for, these ladies helped me find myself and my voice and in turn, I helped them.

Life

Tell Yourself You’re Happy

February 26, 2021

When I was first married to the military, I came across Captain Yost. He was a tall, thin man and always very welcoming towards our young Enlisted family. Of course each time we saw each other, he would ask the obligatory “Hi, how are you?” and I would tell him about a teething infant or a husband that wouldn’t mow the yard. Yet, when I would ask him, he would reply with, “I am doing wonderful!” One afternoon while walking my teething child in his stroller, we saw Captain Yost out in his yard. Once again I asked how he was doing and he told me that he was doing wonderful. Puzzled at his happiness, I finally asked what made him feel this way, or at least answer that way all the time. His explanation, “Why not? I tell myself that I am happy and I believe it.” I haven’t seen Captain Yost since 1996 but his words still stick with me.

The definition for happiness is “the state of being happy”. Synonyms include ~ pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, cheerfulness, merriment, gaiety, joy, joyfulness, glee, delight, good spirits, lightheartedness, well-being, enjoyment. Come up with a few sentences off the top of your head that include one of these words.

Some people assume that just because someone seems to be happy the majority of the time, they are not in touch with reality or they are faking it. But, happiness is a choice. And when you decide to make that choice, you may have to work at it. I was talking with a friend the other evening, explained my concept that we all have a choice on how we react to things, and we talked in depth of how to deal with some of the frustrating people in his life. For instance, I told him to turn it around on them; that with the constant complainer, ask her what would make her happy in that particular situation. Obviously, some of my “instructing” worked. The next day, he dealt with a motorcycle that tried to cut him off in traffic and instead of getting mad at something that was beyond his control, he took a deep breath and went back to life.

Happiness is a choice, you cannot choose what happens, but you can choose your reaction to it and be happy. ~ RVM

Happiness is not by chance, but by choice. ~ Jim Rohn

The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering. ~Miguel Angel Ruiz

Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama

We all have hapiness inside and it’s not at all hard to find. It’s sealed deep in our hearts and guarded by our soul. You don’t have to beg to use it. All you have to do is choose it! ~Bebeth

An important decision I made was to resist playing the Blame Game. The day I realized that I am in charge of how I will approach problems in my life, that things will turn out better or worse because of me and nobody else, that was the day I knew I would be a happier and healthier person. And that was the day I knew I could truly build a life that matters. ~Steve Goodier

Though no one can backtrack and create a brand new start, Everyone is capable of taking their life in a brand new direction. ~ Germany Kent

Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy and you will be. ~ Domonique Bertolucci, The Happiness Code: Ten Keys to Being the Best You Can Be

Feeling happy or hurt by every little thing is a choice that makes life beautiful or ugly. ~ Archana Chaurasia Kapoor

Relationships matter. The roles people play in your life will influence you so get serious about who you allow to affect you. Nurture those relationships in your circle that foster success and happiness, and continuously position yourself among change agents and thought leaders. ~ Germany Kent

Living in happiness means practicing the dance of “detachment-attachment”. On a daily basis, we must sense which moments, which events, which people, thoughts and circumstances to detach ourselves from; and which ones to attach ourselves to. Learning this dance, and doing it well, leads to happiness. ~ C. JoyBell C.

When you decide to live in a state of happiness, it does not mean that you are not allowed to have other feelings, they just become less frequent. After a while, you will realize that you begin to look at experiences differently, recognizing that the stressors can be moments of opportunity and not opposition.

Happy people know their strengths and use those to build their confidence. Think of it as throwing together a big birthday celebration ~ if you get nervous talking to people but you are a really good cook, choose to be the one to create the elaborate meal, being able to stay behind scenes, and let someone else do the schmoozing. So, let’s get to know ourselves and toot our own horns for a bit ~

I like myself because…

I’m an expert at…

People say I am a good…

What I enjoy most is…

I have a natural talent for…

I feel good when I…

The traits I admire myself for are…

I feel peaceful when…

Use these things towards encouraging your happiness! Of course, it is always important to have an open mind but if you know that you enjoy being creative for instance, be creative! Wander around Michael’s or Hobby Lobby to get ideas. If you enjoy reading, join a book club to talk with other readers. Cooking big dinners could be something you excel at but you live alone… Well, invite others over to share dinner time with you. Feeling nervous about volunteering for something? Speak up! You know what you are good at and what you enjoy. Offer to do it. Just like having to deal with a kid’s sports team… Some moms are meant for the “Team Mom” position. I am not. But, I can cut up some oranges for half time. Do what you love!

To quote Aristotle, “Happiness is a state of activity”. Do you know of any truly happy people that sit home every day, all day? This may sound like a great thing to do but after awhile, boredom sets in, it’s the same routine day after day, they are no longer thriving. The happiest of people enjoy experiencing life, pursuing passions and building connections. Of course, it also depends on your mood. If you have had a hectic week, sometimes all you want is to just sit still for one night and stare at your tv. Does this make you unhappy? No. On the contrary, that might make you happy by re-energizing yourself. Then there are those particular days that you just feel rough and you need to make that connection with people to feel that confidence again. Start taking notice of when you need to be by yourself and when you need to be with people. Once you start paying attention to this, it will help to increase your happiness awareness. Tell us about what you do when you need to be re-energized…

Part of learning to be happy is being able to find the good in situations, the silver linings. Or it may not necessarily be the good but the lesson or trying to look at something with a different frame of mind. You have to be willing to see things from another perspective. Then you have to train yourself to quit thinking negative about so many things.

Years ago, I started this process and it was hard at times. For instance, if a car was speeding and weaving in and out of traffic, I would think to myself about how there really is the possibility that they just got a call that a loved one is in the hospital and they are trying to get to them. What about the mom that is half ignoring her child in the grocery store? Well, she may have been listening to that child all day and her patience level is really low so I smile at the mom to let her know I understand. Most recently, I lost my phone. I tried everything I could to get it back and finally had to give up. At one point, I remember standing there wanting to yell and scream but I thought, “Here I am telling people how they need to lead a more positive life and if I can’t practice what I preach, what good is that?” So, I took a deep breath and accepted the fact that my phone was lost. Yes, it did put a damper on the day, but I did not become as angry as I could have. What are some examples of things you have had to look at in a different light so you wouldn’t get upset?

One of my favorite places to shop is Fresh Market, and I tell people all the time that it is the most pleasurable shopping experience ever. When you walk in, there is something about the hardwood floor, the display cases, the smell… Just the whole atmosphere, including the classical music at the perfect volume. Stop and think about what your favorite places do to create a relaxing atmosphere.

The self-talk that you keep running through your mind is like the background music of your life. It plays almost continuously, like a constant chatter without necessarily a specific thought.

The self-talk may not be something that we say out loud but we hear it each time we look in the mirror, talk to a co-worker, text with a friend. We have programmed our mind to think a certain way and that is the only way it knows how to react. If each time a co-worker asks you a questions and you think, “You again?!?” this will put you in to a negative state. So, if our subconscious talks to us in a certain way and it is OUR subconscious which we trained, we need to reprogram it to think positive self-talk.

Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you. ~ Beverly Engel, The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused — And Start Standing Up for Yourself

The way you choose to think and speak about yourself (to yourself and others), IS A CHOICE! You may have spent your whole life talking about yourself in a negative way, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue that path. ~ Miya Yamanouchi

My challenge to you today is to observe your thoughts and internal dialogue and recognize if and when you speak poorly to yourself. We all have moments of self-deprecation and very often we are too hard on ourselves. Today, start to be caring and supportive of yourself. Observe that little voice in your head and say something positive to yourself instead! ~ Elaine Seiler, Getting Rid of Negative Energy

Don’t undermine yourself. The one person who should never undermine you, is you. Believe in possibilities. Believe in yourself. Believe you are capable. Engage in positive self-talk. Be an advocate for your betterment. Be your own friend. Be loving to yourself. Be forgiving to yourself. Encourage yourself. Celebrate yourself. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Let go of your limiting beliefs. You are capable of more than you think. ~ Akiroq Brost

The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill

A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes. Mahatma Gandhi

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results. Willie Nelson

We know that attitudes are contagious, whether positive or negative. I am kind of grouchy when I wake up and my family always adjusted to it. And then along came my first child. He was born happy! He would wake up from naps smiling and would just be so excited to see me. How could I possibly act cranky towards a sweet innocent child that was jumping up and down in his crib when I came in. So, I had to change my morning attitude but it was easy to do with him.

Of course we love being around those positive people because they make us feel special and we also find ourselves happier. For instance, you have the option to sit on the beach for the day with one of two people… One of them is a constant complainer. If you say that it is a beautiful summer day, they will tell you that it is too hot. The other one looks at things from a positive view point so while they may agree that it is hot, they will also add that thankfully you two can get in the water when you need to cool off. Or better yet, they brought ice cold beer with them.

Here we are and you are wondering what the point was in all of this rambling about happiness… Did it make you think? Did it make you realize how your words to yourself can make an impact on your mood?

Don’t necessarily lie to people about how you are doing. If your dog just died, you do not have to say you are doing wonderful. But, don’t complain that no one ever asks you to do anything, and then turn down every offer. Being happy also includes being grateful. Standing on your feet making dinner after a 9 hour work day? Be thankful you have a job and money to feed your family. Find the positive in situations. This is what you need to work on.

Final example – I recently moved from the warm beaches in Florida to the snow-covered Mid-west. Each time someone asks me what I think, I say, “I love it!” Do you know what they end up doing? Laughing, smiling, and we have started our conversation on a positive feeling.

The above was used in a guided group conversation. Similar to a bible study, but without the religious references. If you have questions on how to spark this conversation amongst friends, co-workers, or in a social circle, feel free to email me at SwimmingWithTheRain@yahoo.com

Health & Spiritual

Atmosphere of Growth

February 24, 2021

I was listening to a podcast one day and they proposed the question, “What did you like to do when you were 10?” Based on that answer, you may be able to figure out what would make you happy NOW. So, I started thinking about this and remembering how our joy was pretty carefree at that point in time. I researched this topic for two weeks and I wasn’t feeling the “spark” I normally get when I have hit on to something. So, I threw out my notes and started over with an open mind.

Instead of doing the research to have google tell me, I asked myself, “What is an atmosphere of growth?” To me, it is basically a couple of things ~ accepting and understanding things from your past and saying, “Why Not?”. For all of this to work, you have to be willing to open your mind a bit. If someone says, “Green is the greatest color!” but we all know that Purple is, ask them why they feel that way and listen. So, open your mind while we delve in to this.

“When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defenses to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. We cannot love when we feel fear…. When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all.” ― Gerald G. Jampolsky

“Hanging on to resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” – Ann Landers

“Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with you. You’ll see that no one else other than you was responsible. The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival.” ~ Osho

“The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.” – Caroline Myss

“I don’t regret difficulties I experienced; I think they helped me to become the person I am today. I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training; he doesn’t remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right.” – Paolo Coelho

“The past was always there, lived inside of you, and it helped to make you who you were. But it had to be placed in perspective. The past could not dominate the future.” ― Barbara Taylor Bradford, Unexpected Blessings

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” – Barbara De Angelis

“Never regret- If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” – Anonymous

“We have to do with the past only as we can make it useful to the present and the future.” – Frederick Douglass

“Only by acceptance of the past can you alter it.” – T.S. Eliot

YOUR PAST

“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?” – Mary Manin Morrisse

There are several people that will say, “Your past is your past. Leave it there.” While that does make sense, how are you going to understand who you are now if you haven’t figured things out from your past? Yes, you can change who you are, per say, but your childhood, early adulthood, things like that, still make you, you.

What movie are these two quotes from?

Jake ~ You can have roots and wings.

Bobby Ray – You can take the girl out of the honky-tonk but you can’t take the honky-tonk out of the girl.

Now, in Sweet Home Alabama, Melanie Carmichael had run off to New York to become a better person. She did not like her sweet southern life and wanted as far away from it as possible. But, when she had to confront it again, she found that it was HOME to her. And, THAT is growth. She had to try something NEW to realize how much she did love her past.

But, there are things that will have happened in your past that are not as heart warming as Sweet Home Alabama. If you have something that caused you harm, you will probably still have a “fight mode” in you. To have some of that in you, is okay, ONLY if you have learned from it. And no, I am not saying that if your husband beat you, that you should figure out WHY he beat you. What I learned, and it took me a few years to not flinch in certain situations, and to imagine me telling someone else, “You cannot hurt me more than he hurt me and I won’t let you. This time, I’ll kill you.” That is my bit of growth, I had to give myself the confidence that no one will ever do that to me again because I would step up.

Do you have something from your past that you have accepted and dealt with?

Is there something in your past that you have not dealt with that you feel is hindering your future?

LEARN TO SAY, “Why not?”

Example ~ You and your friend have been meeting at the same place every 1^st Monday of the month for three years. She says, “How about we try a different place on Thursday instead of Monday.” Our first reaction is generally one of, “What?!? Why would you want to do something different?!?” because we are naturally creatures of habit. But, what if we just say, “Why not?” and try it. What if you get there and realize that you really do enjoy meeting on Thursdays because it feels like a special “Friday Eve” and you’re not as tired as you normally are on Mondays. Not to mention that the atmosphere of this new place is really rather fun.

I’ve been trying to adopt this thinking and I use it from time to time when a new experience is presented to me. There are times that I start talking to people and they are surprised at how many little things in life I have done. I have to owe it to being able to say, “Why not?” I have ridden on the back of a motorcycle through the hills of Kentucky, I have skinny dipped in the Gulf of Mexico, I have ridden a snow mobile in to Wyoming, I have met an author whose book just touched me, I have danced with a zydeco band in New Orleans, I tried Indian food even though the first time I had it I didn’t like it, I sat front row listening to the legendary Darryl Strawberry tell us about how he had turned his life around… All of this may not seem like much but when you start looking at the little things in life, you realize that those are the moments that bring you happiness, having experiences in life.

Our beloved Shonda Rhimes wrote a book called, “The Year of Yes”. Her plans were to basically say yes to unexpected invitations.

I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, powerful, engaged people, are busy doing.

If I don’t poke my head out of my shell and show people who I am, all anyone will ever think I am is my shell.

The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tell you to.

The point of this whole Year of Yes project is to say yes to things that scare me, that challenge me.

This Yes is about giving yourself the permission to shift the focus of what is priority from what’s good for you over to what makes you feel good.

If I am not going to change, I have to move on. I can’t waste precious time hovering in the “I wishes” and the “if onlys”.

The next time a friend tries to set you up on a blind date, be like Shonda and say, “Yes!” The next time a friend suggests a random happy hour and even though you are already tired and just want to relax at home, say, “Why not?” The next time someone says that they are having to go to a birthday party and they really don’t want to go alone and would like for you to go with them, say, “Yes!” Don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you. Although this may not sound like your type of thing, how else are you going to experience life and find out if you don’t like it? This is your other example of “Atmosphere of Growth”. Being willing to open your mind to new ideas and new things.

Is there something holding you back from saying, “Why not?” or “Yes!”

Take care of yourself first so you can give your best self to others. When your journey becomes about self-growth, you will begin to find your happiness. That is when you will start to feel an acceptance of your past that will lead you in to wanting to experience all that life has to offer. The real compass is your heart, your soul. When your heart and soul jive with your thoughts, you can do this journey of self-growth by aligning your life with your personal values. If you are tired of living your life in such a negative way, change it. Make it a value of yours that you will move away from toxic relationships, search for peace, spend time with those you love. Find your value and focus on that. Do some soul searching. You may have to come to terms with your past to find that inner peace and you may have to learn to say, “Why not?” to experience new joy.

So, back to the original questions ~ So, what did you like to do when you were 10? Are you going to get back to having a bit of that carefree joy? The choice is yours.

Books

Daisy Jones & The Six

June 15, 2020

From Goodreads ~ “Everyone knows Daisy Jones & The Six: The band’s album Aurora came to define the rock ‘n’ roll era of the late seventies, and an entire generation of girls wanted to grow up to be Daisy. But no one knows the reason behind the group’s split on the night of their final concert at Chicago Stadium on July 12, 1979 . . . until now.”

Can you smell the smoke from the burning cigarette? Can you taste the sip of sweet whiskey touching your lips? You can hear each drag of the cigarette, each sip of whiskey… You can see the men crossing their arms while they lean back in their chairs, the women fidgeting by touching their hair, and each person casting their eyes downward as they admit their histories. This is a book that will take you back to when sex, drugs, and rock & roll was the reality for musicians with dreams of singing their music to the people, and getting caught up in its world.

If you have never used Audible, this is one book I highly suggest you do it with. Listening to this book, you feel as if you are watching an episode of ‘Behind The Scenes’ on VH1, with such a realness to the characters, you just sit back and listen. I would love to know how they were able to get the names they did to narrate and bring each character to life. Daisy Jones ~ Jennifer Beals (Flashdance), Billy Dunne ~ Pablo Schreiber (13 Hours, Orange Is the New Black, Den of Thieves), Graham Dunne ~ Benjamit Bratt (Miss Congeniality, Law & Order, Private Practice), Karen Karen ~ Judy Greer (13 Going on 30, The Wedding Planner), Jim Blades ~ Jonathan Davis (Korn), and soooo many other great narrators!

I loved this book so much that I plan on getting pretty in depth and adding in my answers to the book club questions. Once it is done, I’ll add the link here.

Favorite Quotes~

Let me put it this way: I’ve seen a lot of marriages where everyone is faithful and nobody is happy. ~Camila

It was a big lesson for me when I was young—being given things versus earning them. I was so used to being given things that I didn’t know how important it is for your soul to earn them. ~Daisy

That’s the one thing they don’t mention when they tell you to stay away from drugs. They don’t say, “Drugs will have you sleeping with some real jerks.” But they should. ~Daisy

Music can dig, you know? It can take a shovel to your chest and just start digging until it hits something. ~Eddie

Actually, it wasn’t that fun, it was just that I was happy. Everything seems fun when you’re happy. ~Graham

I don’t believe in soul mates anymore, and I’m not looking for anything. But if I did believe in them, I’d believe your soul mate was somebody who had all the things you didn’t, that needed all the things you had. Not somebody who’s suffering from the same stuff you are. ~Karen

She had written something that felt like I could have written it, except that I knew I couldn’t have. I wouldn’t have come up with something like that. Which is what we all want from art, isn’t it? When someone pins down something that feels like it lives inside us? Take a piece of your heart out and shows it to you? ~Billy

But loving somebody isn’t perfection and good times and laughing and making love. Love is forgiveness and patience and faith and every once in a while, it’s a gut punch. That’s why it’s a dangerous thing, when you go loving the wrong person. When you love somebody who doesn’t deserve it. You have to be with someone that deserves your faith and you have to be deserving of someone else’s. It’s sacred. ~Billy

But music is never about music. It if was, we’d be writing songs about guitars. But we don’t. We write songs about women. ~Graham

I swear, I think about that day sometimes when I’m feeling low. I think about it to remind myself you never know what kind of crazy good shit is around the corner. But it’s hard not to remember, when I think about that day, that lots of crazy bad shit is often around the corner, too. ~Graham

Acceptance is a powerful drug. And I should know because I’ve done them all. ~Daisy

I wish someone had told me that love isn’t torture. Because I thought love was this thing that was supposed to tear you in two and leave you heartbroken and make your heart race in the worst way. I thought love was bombs and tears and blood. I did not know that it was supposed to make you lighter, not heavier. I didn’t know it was supposed to take only the kind of work that makes you softer. ~Daisy

All I will say is that you show up for your friends on their hardest days. And you hold their hand through the roughest parts. Life is about who is holding your hand and, I think, whose hand you commit to holding. ~Camila

You do sometimes sit and wonder why it wasn’t you, what makes you so special that you get to be safe. The world doesn’t make much sense. ~Billy

Let me tell you the sweet spot for being in rock ’n’ roll. People think it’s when you’re at the top but no. That’s what when you’ve got the pressure and the expectations. What’s good is when everybody thinks you’re headed somewhere fast, when you’re all potential. ~Warren

It hurts to care about someone more than they care about themselves. I can tell that story from both sides. ~Billy

It was such a sad love song. About wanting somebody you can’t have and knowing you’re going to want them anyway. ~Billy

It’s very vulnerable, being an artist, telling the truth like that, like we’re doing now. When you’re living your life, you’re so inside your head, you’re swirling around in your own pain, that it’s hard to see how obvious it is to the people around you. These songs I was writing felt coded and secret, but I suspect they weren’t coded and secret at all. ~Daisy

Some people will never stop being themselves. And you think it drives you crazy but it is the very thing you will think about when the are gone. When you don’t have them in your life anymore. ~Billy

DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED THE BOOK

Book Club Questions~

The majority of these questions, I have copied from different book review websites, possibly combining questions and / or rewording.

Be honest… Did you google the band before you were finished, and if so, what did you think?

Did you listen to or read the book and what did you think of the oral history format?

What feelings did this book evoke for you?

This style of narration highlights that memory is often unreliable ~ different characters have conflicting stories or versions of events, or have reshaped their thoughts and feelings over the years. How do you feel this was most played out in the book?

Many of the characters seem to be searching for something to fill a void, and they turn to music or drugs or sex. What do you think the various characters, particularly Daisy and Billy, are looking for?

Daisy admits in the interview how shell felt for Billy. But, even all these years later, Billy can’t quite get there. He hints at it, but he always goes back to his love for Camila. Why do you think he can’t admit how he felt and possibly still feels about Daisy?

In what ways did their songwriting and actions on stage tell the truth when maybe they weren’t being honest to each other and to themselves?

How did you feel about Karen and Graham’s relationship? Did you want it to me more or did you understand where each side was coming from?

The book leads up to telling about the band’s last concert in Chicago stadium and Daisy leaving the band. How did you feel about Camila taking care of Daisy that night, telling Daisy to leave, then wishing her well?

What did you think about Billy and Camila’s relationship? Why do you think she stuck with him through it all?

Did the identity of the “author” of this book surprise you? Did it make you reconsider the story or any of the events?

We learn what everyone has been up to since the band broke up. What did you think of the addition of this information to the book and were there any surprises?

Before Camila passed away, she wrote an email to her daughters asking them to give their dad Daisy’s number? Why do you think she did this and do you think Billy will contact her?

Which character in the book would you most like to meet?

If you could hear this story from another person’s point of view, who would you choose?

Exercise

Exercise Motivation Quotes

June 2, 2020

The majority of us do not look like the women modeling the latest active wear. It can be so hard to keep our motivation up when we look around and see all of these “perfect” people at the gym, or doing a morning run, or modeling the latest yoga pants. When you need that reminder or extra push, take a look at these. Better yet, follow us on Pinterest!

Entertainment

ABC Thursday Night Power Quotes

May 27, 2020May 31, 2020

A few years ago, I had a friend that graduated from college, just before her 30th birthday. She had done all of her classes online, and since she didn’t get to walk across a stage, I had a dinner party for her. Although she thought it was just dinner and wine to celebrate her accomplishments, it was so much more!

I bought her a cap along with the correct color tassel (I had no idea that was a thing but I guessed correctly) for her to wear throughout the evening. What she didn’t know, was that we had a commencement speech planned.

Her favorite shows all belong to Shonda Rhimes – Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away With Murder. I found the best quotes I could on believing in yourself and cut them in to strips. Each of us read our chosen clips out loud to her, as if we were giving her lessons in life to move forward with. Let me tell you, this is the graduation ceremony that each TGIT fan deserves!

Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. He’s very dreamy, but he’s not the sun. You are. ~Christina Yang

Walk tall. All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought. You loved. You Lost. Walk tall. ~Mark Sloan

There’s an end to every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted. Once all the houses have been ripped apart. The wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop, the sky will clear in an instant. But only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who was strong enough to survive it. ~Meredith Grey

When we follow our hearts, when we choose not to settle. It’s funny, isn’t it? A weight lifts, the sun shines a little brighter, and for a brief moment, we find a little peace. ~Meredith Grey

Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn’t just about being tough – it’s about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. It’s okay to let down your guard. In fact, there are moments when it’s the best thing you can possibly do – as long as you choose your moments wisely. ~Meredith Grey

Knowing is better than wondering. Waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying. ~Meredith Grey

Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here and don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks. ~Cristina Yang

Did you say it? ‘I love you.’ ‘I don’t ever want to live without you.’ ‘You changed my life.’ Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then look around; Drink it in ‘cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow. ~Meredith Grey

If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there. ~Mark Sloan

We don’t get unlimited chances to have the things that we want, and this I know. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life. ~Addison Montgomery-Shepherd

Just when we think we figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find ourselves back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong. ~Meredith Grey

You know as well as I do it’s not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. It’s about having people in your life that you love and who love you. That’s all that matters. ~Miranda Bailey

It’s horrible and it’s sickening and just when you think you can’t take anymore it gets fun. ~Huck

I am many things, stupid is not one of them. ~Olivia Pope

It’s handled. ~ Olivia Pope

Take a breath. Keep your head still, maintain eye contact. Just answer what was asked of you; if you go off on a tangent it will look unreliable. Let’s try again. ~Olivia Pope

It’s okay to be afraid, sometimes fear keeps us safe, sometimes it holds us back. ~Olivia Pope

It was just one of those rare moments. A crossroads where you know, you just know, if you don’t act now, if you let this moment slip away, it will haunt you for the rest of your life. ~Fitz

I’m choosing me. And right now, I’m dancing. Now, you can dance with me or you can get off my dance floor. I’m fine dancing alone. ~Olivia Pope

Whatever you say to the police, can and will be misconstrued to support the prosecution. So when in doubt, shut your mouth. ~Annalise Keating

Never take a learning opportunity from anyone no matter how smart you need others to think you are. ~Annalise Keating