indiana – Swimming With The Rain

God

God, Balance, and a Heart Chakra

July 14, 2020

One of the things that I exceed at is floating in a pool, and not just on a float (which if you have a graceful way to get on, please share). I’m talking about the kind where you lay flat on your back, arms at your sides, toes in the air… Quietly clearing my mind, focusing on my breathing, buoyancy supporting my body. After a bit, I no longer have to concentrate and I begin to stare up at the sky, letting the conversation around me continue as muffled sounds. As crazy as it sounds, I have a hard time balancing on my two feet but ask me to tread water, I can do that! Until this past summer…

I started to realize that something was off a few weeks ago, when I was unable to stay balanced while floating. My left shoulder kept pulling me down, which is strange because in the normal world, it felt perfectly fine. I tried to concentrate harder, I tried to not concentrate, I tried to pull down with my right side, I tried to pull up with my left. Nothing was working. I knew that I was fighting with some inner emotional turmoil but I did not put two and two together that this could affect me in such a way.

In frustration, I googled… I couldn’t find too much but what I did find led me to something about the Heart Chakra. The what?!? Nope. I am not going to buy in to that whole peace, love, and happiness craze… It’s just not how I was raised, and I think it goes against God. (Stay with me on this, please.) So, I push all of this new age information aside and head up to Indiana to see friends that have known me for over 20 years, because with them, I feel myself.

That first evening, with lightning bugs floating nearby and Jason Aldean coming out of the speakers, we swam around in the pool just laughing and feeling free. Out of habit, I immediately went in to floating position so I could stare up at the summer sky… Left shoulder pulled down. It’s never been A LOT, just enough for me to know that something isn’t right. A couple of hours and Rumplemintz shots later, a song comes on that reminds us of a dear friend that passed away several years back. We toast to him and smile…

But then something happens to me. I start to sob. And I can’t stop! For over 30 minutes, it’s like someone turned a faucet on in my eyes and they were just continuing to leak, THEY WOULD NOT STOP! I wiped away tears, I went underneath the water, I looked up at the starry sky… Nothing but tears.

The next morning, we all kind of laughed about my never ending crying, and chalked it up to the Rumplemintz mixed with the need to release pent up emotion. Yet, something had shifted in me… Exasperation had left my body. The angst I had been carrying of not being good enough, the fear of being the real me, the sadness of not being completely loved, the constant stress of the unknown with my job, the burden of trying to be everything to everyone… It was gone.

I was finally filled with an overwhelming peace and knew I was fully loved, right where I was at. Without being able to explain what I was feeling, I wanted to soak in the day and experience this feeling that felt so incredibly profound that words were not enough.

Without realizing it in the pool, I went in to my full body float and that is I had another discovery… I was laying completely still… Both shoulder blades where they needed to be, neither fighting for a different angle… Staring up at the Indiana sun, with a genuine smile.

A few days later, I sent my friend Marie a text to let her know I was heading back home. Her reply, “Are you sad? Refreshed? Rejuvenated?” I contemplated the best word to explain what I was going through… “Balanced. Does that make sense?” While that word made sense to me in a way, I still felt like I was meant to learn something from this. But, what? Not wanting to get in to this peace, love, happiness mumbo jumbo, I kept it in the back of my mind, yet it was pushing forward.

Thank goodness for my weekend pool days with Diana… She is my worldly traveler with an open mind, thinking before she speaks, but knowing she can be honest with me. Diana exudes a sense of wisdom and it is because of that, I have always had a natural calm around her. Explaining my release to her and brief findings of a heart chakra, but not sure what to make of it, I am 90% sure that she had a firm grasp on what I would find, but was confident that I would have to accept it myself… “You’re good at research. Look it up.”

What an intriguing lesson I found myself in the middle of… The heart chakra, when open to receive, is just between the shoulder blades, and your body takes in the energy of love, joy, abundance, forgiveness, trust, relationships… But, when this is closed off, a person will begin to feel apathetic, unforgiving, distrustful, and detached. The tension in the shoulder blades represents an inability to let go or forgive… Not just to others, but to ourselves. Finally, I found something that explained me almost word for word!

Here is where some would say that it gets tricky… How could I believe in something like this but also believe in God?

A gift had been handed to me as all of the pieces to this puzzle finally came together. These past several months and the struggle for connecting my thoughts all started to make sense… I have been working on putting my life back in to balance. I had not felt worthy of love, even from friends, and detached myself from anyone that I didn’t know if I could trust. By nature, I am a very distrustful person, always waiting for the ball to drop. Self-sabotage most would call it.

What I have realized the last several years, not everything is black and white. Just like when we are raising our children, they are not the same and generally need to be handled differently. Therefore, I believe that God allows us to learn in so many different ways, and that is what makes us unique. If you don’t think so, think about how one person feels God’s presence and has an ongoing conversation with Him while walking through a forest, but another feels it sitting silently in prayer. I have prayed to God to show me how to change my life and He chose to show me in a way that would bring me balance. By allowing God to explain to me that I need to allow love and trust in, I am still aware that HE is the one to nudge me and guide me to my purpose.

If your life is out of balance, I urge you to listen to your body. Is something feeling off? If so, pray, meditate, do whatever you do to help bring clarity to your life. Open yourself up to love and know that you are worthy of it. I promise, when you feel the answer, you will feel tension leave your body and it is quite profound.

All me

Bucket List Ideas

July 11, 2020

I’m not sure if the term ‘Bucket List’ was used prior to the release of the movie “Bucket List” starring Jack Nicolson and Morgan Freeman, written and produced by Rob Reiner, but it is something that everyone now seems to have. In fact, I have kept a running list on my phone since 2012.

Why on my phone? Because each time I have an idea, I can immediately add to it and the list keeps growing. I have only been able to scratch two things off of there and that has been within the past year (lightning bugs and covered bridges).

So, what’s the difference between a bucket list and goals? To me, a bucket list is something you do that encourages you to experience life and fill your soul with memories, while a goal is something you work toward and even build on.

For instance, with the lightning bugs, growing up out west, we didn’t have these things. Although I had read about these little flying glow sticks in books, heard lyrics about summer evenings being lit up with them in songs, and saw them set the backdrop in movies, they always held a romantic mystery to me. While visiting Ann in Indiana last year, there they were! She caught one for me and put it on my arm and I smiled like a child that had just walked in to Disney Land. I experienced this moment and it was amazing. I was experiencing life!

But, a goal… Now that is something you work towards and even build on. Let’s look at this website I am working on. For most of my life, if you would have asked me, “What is your dream job?”, I would have said, “A photographic journalist”. I had been writing for years, sometimes reading things to people, sometimes keeping my words tucked away. This websites name, I had planned out during the summer of 2018, even checking to make sure it wasn’t in use. But, it took time for me to have the courage to do it and even once I did it, it took strength for me to announce it to the world.

I don’t have the specifics written down of how I want to achieve each Bucket List item… It is generally just a few words about each thing because to me, getting in to too much detail, takes away from the spontaneity of how things are meant to happen. Take the Covered Bridges as an example… I didn’t know how I was going to make it happen, I just knew that I wanted it to. I ended up seeing one from the back of a Harley and another from the passenger side of a Corvette. Now, doesn’t that beat a tour bus? Which, I would done except for some good friends that made it happen.

And now, my Bucket List as of mid-2020…

Visit Atlantic Ocean. I have seen the Atlantic twice – once from a parking lot in Miami and the other from a road in Daytona Beach. I want to actually put my toes in it and feel the sand. Growing up on the Pacific and living on the Gulf Coast, I think it is only suiting to feel another body of water that boarders our amazing country.

Road Trip without a destination. Not the whole Thelma and Louise thing, fyi.

Ireland, Italy, Greece, Holland… Basically all of Europe.

Skydiving.

Gulf of Alaska.

Sex in a hurricane. (Ignore that one, Dad)

Walk Paris streets at night.

Drive a race car.

Grape stomping.

Visit with monks / nuns. I have this desire to be filled with their peace.

~~Covered Bridge.~~

Mardi Gras. I’ve been to New Orleans and I’ve done Bourbon Street. But, I want to experience an actual Mardi Gras with the parades and floats!

Grand Canyon.

Stay at a Dude Ranch.

African Safari.

Broadway show. I’ve seen plays and productions, but I want to be in actual New York City and watch a true Broadway show.

Opera.

Outer Banks.

~~Lightning Bugs.~~

Northern Lights.

See the Pope. I’m not even Catholic and I think it would be amazing to see this world leader.

Zambia 338ft Waterfall.

Ice fishing.

Wild Horses.

Blue Water Paradise in Arizona.

Concert at Redrock.

Stay in a seaside village as a tourist. I already live in one and I am curious as to what it is like to not be a local.

So, what is in your Bucket List? Where do you keep it? If you have not started one yet, start today. It is ok to let your heart dream and wonder, that is what keeps your soul alive and thriving. Make sure to add in simple things like lightning bugs but also far reaching like an African Safari. Doing this ensures that you take pleasure in life’s little gifts but keeps you seeking more. As you add these moments to your life, get lost in your surroundings and soak it up. Because a photo will not truly capture it, but your senses will.

Entertainment

Flying during Covid-19

July 9, 2020

I just got back from a much needed relaxing trip to Indiana to see friends. I had several ask while I was there and then upon my return what it was like to fly with all of this going on, so here you go!

First of all, I booked this trip back in April when it was super cheap. And when I say super cheap, I mean $100 dollars off the normal price I pay to fly there and even then, it’s not an expensive ticket. The original flight I booked was changed a few different times by the airlines, but the cost still stayed the same. I learned that this had to do with airlines combining / purchasing flights. So, while my original plan was to be in Indianapolis by 11:30am, it ended up being 4:23pm. If you book a flight during this time, just pay attention to your emails and alerts so you can ensure that you have the right times. Also, I HIGHLY suggest that you have the app for your airline downloaded because it is such a time saver.

Do you have a mask? If not, you better find one because although it is not required IN the airport, it IS required on the plane. To be honest, you might as well just put it on before walking in to the airport, it stops the looks from people. Yes, I know you may hate it, but just suck it up.

Getting through security is easy because the weight is not as long. One of the guys checking id’s did ask me to lower my mask briefly so he could make sure it was me, but he was very friendly about it. Although all of my flights were pretty much full, there are less planes going out so there are not as many people in the airport.

Once you board the plane, they make sure that you are aware that it is required to be on at all times. They do advise that there are some that heave health issues that may prevent it and to please be courteous to them. Technically with my asthma, I probably could have gotten away with not having it on, but it wasn’t worth the fight. My inhaler was tucked in to my bra and if I needed it, that’s when I would let them know what it was doing to me.

I was lucky enough to have a layover in Charlotte (I love that airport which is why I say I was lucky) and I headed straight over to Starbucks. Well, since I can’t eat or drink with a mask on, I had it around my neck. That seemed to be the universal sign for, “Yes, I have a mask” just in case anyone looked at you weird. But, I’ll be honest, probably 75% of people had theirs on and no one looked at me crazy when I didn’t have mine around my face. Then again, I probably looked like a woman in desperate need of caffeine.

What you will notice is that about half of the restaurants are closed and maybe a quarter of the stores. It seemed to be the sit down places or the specialty stores. I was able to find a restaurant back in the corner of Terminal B, and I found out that they had just opened the day before. That being said, if you are hungry or thirsty, you better grab something at the airport because they do not serve food or drinks on the plane these days. This is to help the flight attendants have less contact with people and that is fine with me so I could nap without interruption.

Disembarking the plane, I swear that it went smoother than during normal times! They allow only a few rows at a time and everyone just did as they were told. No one was acting impatient or trying to barge ahead of you, they patiently waited their turn.

So, all in all, it was a pleasant flight experience. My flying partner made the comment about how it stressed him out but here is my thought process… Remember after 9/11 and security was tightened up? I was ok with that if it prevented somebody from killing me. Personally, I can’t control this situation so it’s not going to stress me out. It is what it is right now and you just have to relax and go with the flow. The only downside to it was… When you smile at someone, they can’t see it, so I made sure to say “Thank you” a whole lot more!

God, Balance, and a Heart Chakra

Bucket List Ideas

Flying during Covid-19

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