Therapy Day 5 – Myopic Vision

“If I see only my bias, I have surrendered to a single myopic lens through which to view the world.” Craig D. Lounsbrough

I had no idea where therapy was going to lead me on Day 5. I knew that I wanted to talk about my emotions, why I take things so personally, and how I could work on that.

Let me jump in and explain how I feel about emotions… My emotions are BIG. When I get sad, I cry. When I am upset, I build up resentment. When angry, I say things I shouldn’t. On the flip side of that is my happiness emotion. When I’m happy, I smile, laugh, and dance. When I love, I love with all of my heart.

We talked about different things in the last week and a half, including conversations with family, and my reaction to different things lately.

I play “devil’s advocate” often when talking with people. Not in a rude way, just discussing “what if” and thinking things through. While I am trying to get back in to a positive mind set, I failed to do that when I sent out Mother’s Day cards, not thinking that anyone would react anyway except positive.

You see, I am a card person and my goal this year was to send out more cards. I think that mailboxes are too full of junk and cards make people smile. I have a box of blank birthday cards and a box of blank note cards. For Mother’s Day, I ordered a box of 20 blank cards and decided that I would send them out to friends and family, to not only wish them Happy Mother’s Day but to spread a bit of happiness. I heard from quite a few that thanked me for the card and I remembered how giving is more rewarding than receiving and I felt happy. I felt like I was getting back to the positive version of me.

When you sent the cards, what reactions were you expecting?

I don’t know. Nothing bad.

Did you think of it from her point of view and how she would feel getting a card from someone she didn’t like too well?

No, I thought of it as doing something nice, and also partially extending an olive branch.

What would you have done if you received a card from someone you didn’t like very much?

It depends. I would have either tossed it aside and said WTF or sat on it for a bit and maybe reached out if I felt like the relationship was worth repairing.

What would you have said if you were the one reaching out?

I would have said thank you and asked how they were doing.

You wouldn’t have acknowledged the argument?

Nope. I don’t like confrontation. At some point, you have to extend warmth to the person and move on.

But, not everyone thinks like you. Everyone reacts differently and you need to not have myopic vision.

Have you ever worked to build anything?

Yes, my ceiling fan about 5 years ago. I wanted one in my bedroom and a friend of mine at the time took the ceiling light down but couldn’t figure out how to put the fan up.

How did you go about doing it and how long did it take?

I watched a lot of youtube videos. A co-worker of mine, he had put several up before and he gave me some pointers on what to expect. He even took his down at home to take a picture of the inside of the ceiling. After a couple of weeks as I felt better prepared, I shut the power off and spent a couple hours doing it myself.

How did you feel when it was done?

Great. Empowered. Confident because I worked so hard to put it together and I was proud of myself.

So, why should you or another person feel better instantly if just putting up a simple ceiling fan took a couple weeks?

It was rather enlightening and while I sit on this a bit longer and continue to put it all together, I would just like to remind you (and myself) to keep an eye out on the bigger picture. Relationship issues do not affect JUST YOU. They can affect an office full of co-workers, your marriage, family dynamics… Before reacting to something, stop and think about how this will affect everything further out, not just right in front of you.