boyfriend – Swimming With The Rain

Life

Valentine’s Day love notes never sent…

June 27, 2020

My plan leading up to that Valentine’s Day was to give him a bunch of random song lyrics, all in a red box. Some of the phrases were from songs that played in the background, others were from ones that I came across while flipping radio stations while driving, with him on my mind. It wasn’t that all of these songs were about those lovey dovey moments, because we really didn’t have those, it was about the time spent together. But, with all of my “love stories”, this one did not have a happy ending.

I came across the bag the other day with my final letter and the notes, still folded in half. Although I had read the letter to him, I never handed it over, and actually omitted parts of it while reading with controlled emotions. And now, I sit on my bed with these notes, still perfectly folded in half, and read each one aloud… I am realizing that some of the lyrics weren’t necessarily about him, but about me and the struggles that I was going through in my life at that time. Each one has given a me smile, sometimes a reflective pause, taking me back to a moment, where I was filled with so much confusion, but a love for the life we shared then. So, here are the quotes and lyrics… If YOU are reading this, thanks for the memories!

To the things I believe in… My faith, your love, our freedom. To the things I can count on, To keep me going strong… Yeah, I hold on.

Like the stripes to the flag, like a boy to his dad… I can’t change who I am, right or wrong… So I hold on.

I bet that your neighbors hate us, ’cause we could laugh all night, and never sleep.

There’ll be days your heart don’t wanna beat, you pray more than you breathe.

I hope that you see right through my walls.

I wish nothing but the best for you…

I wouldn’t trade one memory, because you mean too much to me.

I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

It will all get better in time…

Never had much faith in love… or miracles.

Walking between raindrops, riding the aftershock with you…

I’ll tell you all about it, when I see you again.

I’ve been sleep walking, been wandering all night… Trying to take what’s lost and broke and make it right.

I love this life.

I don’t wanna steal your freedom, I don’t wanna change your mind.

I swear you hit me like a vision, I wasn’t expecting, but who am I to tell fate where it’s supposed to go…

It’s good to be alive… Right about now!

You could’ve rolled your eyes, told me to go to hell… Could’ve walked away. But, you’re still here, and I’m still here.

Come on over… I like the sound of that.

Oh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart… It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun.

Got a feeling that I’m going under… But I know that I’ll make it out alive.

I just wanna sing a little chill song, get my groove on…

Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset…

Make it up as we go along.

A big ol’ couch in a big ol’ room, still feels lonely when it’s just you.

Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

Under the light of a thousand stars…

Words you wanna take back… But you know you can’t.

And his voice is a familiar sound.

Oh, I know that I don’t need a whole lot of anything… I just want a little bit of everything.

Well, the trouble with up… Is there’s always a down.

What would I do without your smart mouth?

Said I’ll always be a friend. Took an oath, I’m gonna stick it out ’til the end…

Thinking out loud…

And the crowds don’t remember my name…

The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell…

So this is what you meant, when you said you were spent…

I thought I’d been hurt before, but no one has left me quite this sore.

Get a grip and bite your lip just to save a little face.

We’ve come a long way from where we began…

Please don’t stand so close to me, I’m having trouble breathing… I’m afraid of what you’ll see right now…

I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife.

I need someone to breathe me back to life.

I don’t ever want to let you down.

The sun is filling up the room, And I can hear you dreaming…

And light it up like it’s our last chance.

Well, there it is. I’ll be throwing away the hand written notes that serve as a reminder of feelings that went beyond my control. But the letter… I’ll keep that as a memento of that season of my life. Some memories I will cherish, while others, I will hide down deep. I do know this, I learned a lot about my relationship needs during those months ~ I need a man that will keep me laughing, have long conversations, is capable of household repairs, makes me feel sexy, trusts me with his secrets… Now I just need to find all of that and be willing to let him know my story… And if he can still love me after all of that, plus make me feel loved without any confusion, I will have found the one.

Health & Spiritual

A pedicure as the Love Language for TOUCH

June 7, 2020

I went to get a pedicure today for the first time in probably over six months. I used to be so diligent about it… Every two weeks, I was in a nail salon ready to pick out the same pinkish red color that I had been wearing for forever. Maybe not the exact same shade, but always similar. Only three times did I do a different color – First for my brother’s wedding (late 90’s) and his wife wanted our toes the same color as our dress (baby blue). The second was in 2016… I had picked out my normal pinkish red, but when I told the woman that I had a first date the next night, she told me to do something different and she painted them teal (similar to this color). In her sweet Vietnamese accent she said, “You try this. If he likes, he a good man.” (He did and that lasted 6 months. Maybe I should seek out her wisdom again. ) 2018 was the third time. A bright Baby Blue. It was summer and a friend of mine had her finger nails painted that color and I liked it.

Back to my pedi today… I had spent the morning helping a friend pack and move. While on that side of town, I wanted to go in to my once favorite place. Luckily, they weren’t backed up so I ended up getting a chair within just a few minutes.

This salon which has been my ‘go to’ place, brings me peace. I know that there are others that are newer and shinier, but this place… There is something about the lived in feel, the quiet music that involves chimes, their sun faded posters involving Biblical themes, their cheap gold crosses… “Oh! We haven’t seen you in awhile! Sit, sit!” They always make me feel like they have welcomed me in to their home and WANT to take care of me. It must have been my lucky day because I ended up with the owner and he is usually booked with appointments. Looking at my goose bumped legs, he brought me over a towel to cover up with and I held on as if he had just given me a snuggle blanket. “You close your eyes. You relax.” Then he hit the massage chair button. The tension in my body started to melt away and once I felt those hot water jets hit my feet, the crease in my face started to smooth out. I sat there, holding on to the top of my towel, my reflexes moved my feet where they needed to go, melding in to the feeling of the massage on my shoulders and tightly wound back.

My mind started to wander to a couple of different friends. One had posted months ago about how her love language was touch but since she was single, she didn’t know how to get that language fulfilled. I suggested she go get a pedicure because it had always relaxed me. In my wording to her that day, it reminded me of how many times I had done the same exact thing when I just needed to feel loved, without really realizing why I was going. The thought of her took me to a conversation with another friend a few years prior. We had been discussing what it was like to be deployed and being away from your loved ones and he mentioned that that is why a lot of them will go and get massages. In my typical humor, I laughed and said, “Yah, we all know why they go and get a massage.” My humor was met with a very serious reply… “You know, some peoples love language is touch and just to have someone rub your feet or back, can really help fulfill that.” Those words have stayed with me as a reminder of how powerful touch really is.

When the pedicure was done, he put a hot washcloth that was infused with eucalyptus on the back of my neck. With each pressure his hands gave my neck and shoulders, it heightened the soothing aroma, ensuring my complete relaxation.

When I finally opened my eyes, the world seemed golden and my soul was at ease. I’ve learned my lesson – no longer will I look at these pedicures as too costly or time consuming and I will do my best to make more time for my self care in this way. I can only take as good of care for others as I take for myself.

Ironically enough, when I came home and decided to catch up on a show, those words were said to a character, almost word for word. Thank you, God, for reminding me that I matter, also, and helping me to realize that it is not selfish to give myself self-care.

PS – As you can see below, I went away from my normal pinkish red and stepped out of my comfort zone. I’ve spent my life, especially the last several years, doing what is expected of me. My purchasing style for clothes and decor has always basically been about “function”. I think it’s time that I start with “does this look like joy” when I look at colors for decor and such. And my first step to doing this, is teal colored toes that my kids and boss may shake their heads at. But, that’s ok, because it’s not their toes, right?

Life

He’s not MY boy any longer

June 1, 2020

My boy turned 25 today. Well, he’s no longer my boy. Actually, he was never MY boy. He belonged to his mother. But, I had a piece of his heart for over four years.

When I first met Carson, his dad and I had been dating for just over a year. The kids had figured out that something was up and a relative let them know that their dad had been dating someone. I think I was more nervous to meet the kids than I was for the first date with their dad. Walking in to meet them for the first time, I never knew that I would become such a big part of their lives.

Glenn told me how friendly Carson was and was just sure that we would hit it off the first night. Boy, did he get that one wrong.

I walked in and this 11 year old that still wore baby fat with a layer of expensive name brand clothes, just looked at me. He politely shook my hand, when his father told him to, then went and sat on the couch. Luckily, there was the dog, a boxer named Max. I told people after that whole encounter that the only one that truly liked me in that house for awhile was Max. Ha! Max came and sat on the floor next to me, and I just kept petting his head, just to have something to do with my hands. Carson tried to head upstairs to his room but his dad told him to stay in the living room. I asked questions about sports, school, you name it. I mean, I had a 12 year old, I can relate to pre-teen boys! Well, Carson decided that if he had to stay in the living room, the easiest way to not look at me was to put a blanket over his whole body, including his head. What in the world had I gotten myself in to? When I drove away, I was so close to texting his dad and saying, “Your kids won.”

A few weeks later, I invited all of them over to my house for dinner, along with some other friends. I figured this would be an easy time for the kids as there would be plenty to do and it wouldn’t seem like forced “family time”. I’ll never forget that just before we sat down to eat, Glenn grabbed his keys and said he was running to McDonald’s. “Why?” I asked. “Well, Carson said he doesn’t like enchilada’s.” I looked around for Carson but didn’t see him. “When did he tell you this?” “Well, he texted me.” “From upstairs?” There was a nod… “Has he ever had them?” Shake of the head… “Tell that boy to try them and if he doesn’t like them, I will go and get him McDonald’s.” Flash forward a couple weeks later and I’m out at his house when some friends come over… “This is my dad’s girlfriend and she makes the BEST enchiladas!” That kind of became our thing… If I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner, he’d wink and say, “You know what I want”. A few years later, he met my mom and while hugging her, he said, “Thank you for teaching your daughter how to make the best enchiladas ever!” By that age, he had started to perfect his charm.

Carson always had a charm to him. He knew how to shake his dad’s friends hands and talk sports, he would hug the friend’s wives when they came over and compliment them on their hair or team shirt (sports was big in that house), he would take the kids and jump in to the pool with them… He was growing in to the young man that we all wish our sons to be but know that they are the ones that will seduce our daughters.

For his birthday one year, after the football team won a National Championship, I made him a tied fleece blanket. Not hard to make, just a bit time consuming. But, if anyone was going to appreciate this blanket, it was going to be him. I special ordered the fleece with his teams logo for one side, then did the other in a matching color. I don’t know whose eyes were bigger, Carson or his dad’s, when he opened it. However, I very rarely saw him with it. I asked him why and he told me he was afraid it would get dirty or someone else in the house (eyes on his dad) would snag it. “Then where is it?” “It’s in my closet. I pull it out when I want it.” You see, the boy had a lock on his closet door because his brother used to steal his nice clothes and either disappear with them or leave them with food stains.

Carson knew how to appreciate being in the moment… He used to run around chasing my 4 year old son, telling him that there was a monster in the closet, while my son would squeal with laughter. He’d tell the little one, “You want to see where my dad hides the cookies?” There was one particular evening where it was just Glenn and I with his boys. Carson convinced us that we should go to the movies since there was a new one with Mark Wahlberg in it. First, we went to dinner and grabbed burgers. His dad stepped out to take a call so I paid the bill. Carson looked at me with surprise and then said, “That’s cool of you to do that.” The movie ended up being awful (“The Happening”) but he got a kick out of seeing me jump and scream at one point.

With his charm, came a sneaky side that his dad seemed to never notice. One time, I googled his name to figure out what he was doing on social media and there was a video of him on youtube jumping from the one story part of the house IN TO THE POOL!!! Cautiously, I brought it up to his dad, asking if the kids have ever thought of doing stupid things when we’re not there, like jumping from the fence or rooftop. My “innocent” question was met with, “Of course not. He’s smarter than that.” Anyways, we’re all relaxing in the pool and there’s Carson with his charming ways asking his dad if he thinks it’s possible to jump from the first story in to the pool, his dad starts telling him something about ratio, gravity, blah blah blah. But, I see the twinkle in Carson’s eyes… “Sweetie, hand me my phone so I can look up youtube videos of this type of stupidity.” Head hung down, he says, “Never mind.” I smiled and said, “Don’t ever think I can’t find things out.”

Once he got his drivers license, he knew that I wasn’t the one to throw his charm at any longer. He’d come home shortly after 11 on a Friday night after working at a restaurant, shower, come downstairs and then announce, “Hey, I’m going to go and pick Cody up so he can stay the night.” My standard reply, “Nothing good happens after 11. And technically, according to the fine state we live in, you can’t drive after 11.” He tried the line of, “Well, I can if I’m coming home after work.” Back to me looking him up and down, “You sure smell good for working at a restaurant.” You see, I have this theory… Teenagers are not trustable. How do I know this? I was one.

And then, Carson had a girlfriend. No big deal, right? He’s 16 and not my son. Parental mode kicked in when I saw that he was shy about introducing me to her. With a name like Mary Kate and looking like a nice wholesome girl, what’s not to love? Perhaps the way she stared at my boy like only a teenage girl that is feeling that first love feel can. And also the way that her hair was disheveled when they came downstairs to watch a football game with us… (Don’t even get me started on Glenn allowing them to be upstairs in the room together.) While cooking dinner one evening, he came by to look over my shoulder (when did the kid get tall enough to do that?) and I very calmly said, “Make good decisions. Do not make me call your dad Grandpa yet.” He laughed and with all of his charm said, “And what will you be called?” Looking him right in the eye, I said, “Prisoner 643429”. His smile kind of faded as he said, “Yes, m’am”.

As I said, sports were BIG in that house. And I mean big. His dad had season tickets to their favorite college football team and I went once or twice a year with him, the kids went the others. But, there was one rivalry game that I had been wanting to go to so bad. Carson sent me a text one evening and said, “For your birthday, I’m giving up my seat to you since I know you’ve been wanting to go.” Oh, my heart!!! He was going to miss out on one of the biggest games just to let me go! This game had been on my dream list of being able to say, “I remember that game. I was there!” But, in my heart of hearts, I knew that it wasn’t in me to take away their yearly tradition. Did I want to go? You better believe it! Do I regret my decision? Not in the least. I had the chance but I knew the memories of him going with his dad would make my soul happy.

There are so many articles about how to deal with a breakup and what emotions you will feel, when its time to move on, how to learn from your mistakes. But, what they don’t teach you is what happens when you lose the kids, also. I’m not here to teach you how to move past it, because I don’t know. All I know is that when I think of that time in my life, I think of them as my kids and I remember that one special boy that had a piece of my heart.

About 6 months after the breakup, I was at the gym and I felt someone watching me, I turned around and there was Carson. We hugged and he told me how his Senior year of highschool was going. My boy, growing up. When he graduated, I received an announcement in the mail. Knowing I wasn’t going to attend, I sent him a check with a card telling him how proud I was of him and I received a thank you card which he personalized with kind words; somewhere I still have it. I pull up his facebook every now and then just to make sure he is doing well. He finished college, still has the dimple, a twinkle in his eye, and is ending up with his dad’s hairline. And you better believe that if I ever run in to him again, he will get a big momma hugg from me!

Entertainment

Chasing Amy, 1997

May 30, 2020May 31, 2020

I was trying to figure out why I hadn’t seen this movie in 1997 when it came out. Oh! I had a young child and was knee deep in the Disney Channel, not movies about 20 something year olds that I could not possibly relate to. But, here I am all these years later truly appreciating what I am seeing on screen.

Here’s the synopsis that Netflix gives this movie ~ Comic book artist Holden meets the perfect woman, only to learn that she’s a lesbian. But, that doesn’t stop him from falling in love with her. So, why do I want to watch this movie? I’m not in to comic books, and I have no desire to watch a guy fall for a girl that he can’t possibly get, because I’m just not going to understand. I was wrong.

Holden McNeil: I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. And it’s not because you’re unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You’re the epitome of every attribute and quality I’ve ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you’d ever consider. But I can’t do this any longer. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship – no pun intended – but I had to say it, because I’ve never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn’t allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I’ll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not suppress that – at least for ten minutes – and try to dwell in it before you dismiss it. There isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who’s ever made me the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it’s there between you and me. You can’t deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of you and what you’ve meant to me, which – while I do appreciate it – I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

That. That right there… That is either the speech that we have wanted to hear all of our lives or maybe we’ve said it… If Netflix or some other movie site had given me that synopsis years ago, I would have jumped on the bandwagon a long time ago. What I learned is that this movie is part of the Kevin Smith and View Askewniverse world he has going on with Jay and Silent Bob movies, which I have never seen. Then again, if you would have told me that it was by the guy that did the Jay and Silent Bob movies (Kevin Smith IS Silent Bob), I wouldn’t have watched because stoned out people are just not my type of movies to watch. Alright, back to Chasing Amy.

Notes I made about what jumped out at me (besides the awesome speeches and one liners)

In the early scene with them signing autographs, not only do you see Ethan Suplee who played Louie Lastik in Remember The Titans in 2000, you see a young Casey Affleck.
Awwww… the whole pagers era and having to find a quarter to make that call.
Interesting, Alyssa’s friends referred to it as “The Pronoun Game” when she was referring to Holden as someone, they, etc., so she wouldn’t have to say that he was a male.
When they were laying cuddled up in bed and his hand was playing with her shoulder, I was hit with this true sense of intimacy.
When Alyssa yelled at Holden in the parking lot… She nailed it! I truly felt that raw emotion and you could hear the scrapes in her voice as she was letting him know how she felt.

Alyssa played by Joey Lauren Adams – I always really liked her. She looks quite similar to Renee Zellweger but seems more approachable. Then again, maybe they look similar to the whole late 90’s rom com scene. I recognize her more from playing Adam Sandler’s love interest in Big Daddy and playing the friend or sister (can’t remember which one) of Jennifer Anniston’s character in The Breakup.

Jason Lee as Banky is the one that I kept looking at knowing that I knew who he was but I just couldn’t picture it yet. Such a good looking man! As soon as the movie was over, I typed his name in to google and there he was! How could I not know this?!? He’s Dave Seville on Alvin and The Chipmunks (I told you I was raising kids) and My Name is Earl.

So, great movie once you get past all the raunchiness in the beginning, it is so well worth watching! Quotes from the movie that just really hit me…

Silent Bob: So there’s me and Amy, and we’re all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a really dumb move. But you know how it is: you don’t wanna know, but you just have to, right? Stupid guy bullshit. So, anyway, she starts telling me about him… how they fell in love, and how they went out for a couple of years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… and I’m okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times, while they were going out, he brought some people to bed with them. Ménage à trois, I believe it’s called. Now this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sort of thing. I mean, I was raised Catholic, for God’s sake. So I’m totally weirded out by this, right? And then I just start blasting her. Like… I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling, so I figure the best way is by calling her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I’m… I’m out for blood. I really wanna hurt this girl. I’m like, “What the fuck is your problem?”, right? And she’s just all calmly trying to tell me, like, it was that time and it was that place and she doesn’t think she should apologize because she doesn’t feel that she’s done anything wrong. I’m like, “Oh, really?” That’s when I look her straight in the eye, I tell her it’s over. I walk. No, idiot. It was a mistake. I didn’t hate her. I wasn’t disgusted with her. I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small, like… like I’d lacked experience, like I’d never be on her level, like I’d never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I’m saying? But, what I did not get, she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for that guy anymore. She was… she was looking for me, for the Bob. But, uh, by the time I figure this all out, it was too late, man. She moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away. So, I’ve spent every day since then chasing Amy… so to speak.

Alyssa: You know, I didn’t just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it’s the natural way, that kind of thing. I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just *gets* you – it’s so rare. My parents didn’t really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn’t. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy. And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you *were* a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who’d complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, ’cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn’t look. And for me that makes all the difference.

Holden: If this is a crush, I don’t think I could take it if the real thing ever happened.

Alyssa: Maybe you knew early on that your track was from point A to B, but unlike you I was not given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all! That is until we, that’s you and I, got together and suddenly I was sated!

Life

2012 – My heart is breaking

May 27, 2020May 31, 2020

In the early spring of 2012, my boyfriend and I were coming to an end and my heart was just breaking. Instead of texting him or bothering any of my friends with what was going through my mind after 5 1/2 years of being with this man, I typed it all in to the notes section of my phone.

March 3rd, 10:16pm ~ Saturday night and I think I am doing a good job keeping myself busy. But, you are crossing my mind. This is when I have to be strong and remember that those three little words can be spoken, but unless there is action, those words don’t mean anything. And I know that you love me, but I don’t know if it is out of habit or if you truly do. I wonder how far you will go to prove your love. I just want you to be with me. More than in just presence, but to truly be WITH me. I want to be your friend and your support, and I want to feel like you are listening, not looking around elsewhere, making me feel like you are waiting for some better conversation to come along.

March 4th, 1:47pm ~ I feel like I am hurting. Not to sit and cry. I feel like something is missing. I am here at my son’s first baseball game and you are supposed to be with me. We are supposed to be a part of each others lives. But, honestly, I don’t feel like you would be here anyways, and if you were, I wouldn’t enjoy myself because I would be so worried if you were bored or not.

March 5th, 10:16pm ~ I feel good right now. I felt good today. I think it helped that Kelly wasn’t at work today so I stayed extremely busy. I did think of you when the boss and I went to lunch. We went to Ocean Cafe for lunch and it was such a beautiful day! At one point, I saw your client, Michael Fisher walking through looking for someone. I don’t know if he saw me or not, but I knew that if he was waiting on you perhaps, I wasn’t sure how I would handle that. I put away that thought and told myself I would deal with that if it happened. I met the girl that John is taking to Prom. Something was said and I said something about you and realized that I said boyfriend. What was I to say with him sitting there? I haven’t said anything to him. I just need to get out of the habit of talking about or referring to you.

March 12th, 3:06pm ~ I left work on Friday to run home and grab some xanax. I couldn’t deal with the pain / anxiety anymore. Friday was rough. Too many songs on the radio that had me thinking and remembering. Sunday was hard. I contemplated going walking on a nature trail. I was going to tell you I was going and if you would like to meet me so we could talk, that would be fine. I was more afraid of you coming up with an excuse than not knowing if you would show. Sad, huh? I ended up sending you a text asking how you were doing and you seemed to care less. After my doctor appointment today, I should have been texting you to tell you what he said, and then I realized that it wouldn’t even make a difference to you. You won’t change. Maybe for someone else, but not for me. All you see in our relationship is the bad. You don’t see the good or even remember how you used to enjoy spending time with me. How we used to have lunch or go grocery shopping. How you used to come over and we wold actually laugh and play the Wii. You blame not doing anything on being in a rut. Well, you can’t come out of a rut by not doing anything. But, if that is really how you want to enjoy life, laying alone on the couch, I hope you find that person that will do that with you. I want to enjoy life; not my couch.

Entertainment

How to cut a pineapple

May 22, 2020June 14, 2020

Years ago, I had this boyfriend and we loved to have people over and entertain. Whether it was for a football game, pool time, Saturday night… You name it! He supplied the house, I supplied the kitchen duties. Sometimes it’s easier for me to keep busy instead of having to make polite chit chat.

Well, one day I get there and here is how this conversation went…

Boyfriend, “I bought you a pineapple!”

Me, “Okay. Why?”

Boyfriend, “To cut up to go with the other food.”

Me, “How?”

Boyfriend, “I don’t know. I was hoping you knew.”

So, I figured it out for him. Because that is what good girlfriends do, right? Please remind me why I’m still single…

Well, in case you needed a bit of help because it really can be quite intimidating (speaking from personal experience), I’m here to give you a step by step guide with pictures! And once you know how, you’ll never go back to the canned stuff!