Life Lessons

June 26, 2020

I have a tendency to learn stupid life lessons the hard way. Luckily, I have been keeping track of them for years so that I could one day share with the world. So, here you go. You’re welcome.

#114 ~ When moving a box full of yarn, make sure it is not dangling outside of the box so that it can attach to things.

#118 ~ Don’t wear long sleeves to the gym. It’s hot.

#119 ~ Driving in a small town on Sunday around noon when church gets out, is worse than rush hour traffic.

#202 ~ When the heater doesn’t work and it’s supposed to get to freezing temps, flip the breaker… Ahhh!!! Warmth!

#203 ~ Do not overfill your waffle maker… There will be a mess.

#205 ~ When falling down the stairs first thing in the morning, if you will lean towards one side, it will keep the pressure off your tailbone.

#206 ~ Pay attention when hitting the volume button on your phone a few times because if it is actually the power button, that whole SOS thing will start squawking through the blue tooth. It takes and act of congress to stop it BUT, you will remember who you listed as your emergency contacts in your phone and find out who the first one is to call.

#208 ~ If you are wearing your hat sideways, do not wonder why people are not taking you seriously. (unless it is part of a costume)

#212 ~ If a potential client is using foul words with you, stop. Their business isn’t worth it.

#228 ~ You know you are a parent when the most tearful moment in watching Undercover Boss is when the boss gives money for college.

#311 ~ When you can’t figure out why our new blue ray player won’t connect via wifi and you’re getting ready to call customer support to yell at someone, google the model number first. It’s not wifi capable… It needs land line.

#313 ~ Never throw the dog’s ball off the bed, they will then think it’s play time Especially if it’s a glow in the dark ball…

#320 ~ When not feeling well, make sure that you do not take the crack version of Sudafed before bed.

#322 ~ Always be nice to your clients. You may see them at your son’s baseball game… As the umpire.

#401 ~ If you feel the need to nap on the couch after work, you shouldn’t do it. Because it will be after 11pm, and you will be up doing dishes because you are restless.

#527 ~ Do not eat cupcakes with blue icing…

#604 ~ Getting in to a pool float is not a graceful act.

#615 ~ A flat iron will not warm up if you forget to turn it on.

#625 ~ When your children start staying in bed until the afternoon, you should apologize to your own parents for sleeping in until noon when a teenager on weekends and “wasting away a perfectly good day”. However, I think they should thank me for the quiet time I gave them.

#643 ~ Never take a water pill and then drink a bunch of water when getting ready to make an hour long drive.

#705 ~ Check the weather before heading to the grocery store if it even looks cloudy. Just a couple of sprinkles turned in to a dark sky with a lot of wind driven rain and lightning.

#804 ~ If it is a beautiful day on Saturday, you should go to the beach or get some time in the sun instead of thinking you’ll wait until Sunday. Because Sunday will end up being gloomy.

#807 ~ When babysitting an 8-month old, if they see you drinking out of a water bottle when they wake you up at 2am, they will think it’s their bottle and get upset.

#902 ~ When the ‘check engine’ light comes on, they have a cool thing at Auto Zone to plug in to your car and tell you why.

#917 ~ If driving on a back road that you are not familiar with, always have a full tank of gas.

#919 ~ Do not think that someone is trying to bribe you when they show up with your favorite wine and cookies. Maybe they are just saying congratulations!