It’s official. I feel absolutely defeated. It has just been a crazy week at work and super busy. While part of me loves the rush of it, I get to where I can feel my limit is being pushed and I start to feel overwhelmed. So, what made me think that I could install the glass storm door I bought from Lowe’s last weekend?

I’m single and in this day and age, I should be able to do anything, right? Ugh! Sometimes, all of this “I am woman, hear me roar!” seems so highly over rated! So, why pay the extra $100 for shipping when I have a friend with a truck? So, Dalia and I had a delightful drive to Lowe’s, chatting and catching up. When we walked in, I was full of confidence because I knew just what I wanted. I was full of productive visions in my head as we me carried the LARGE box in to my patio room. I should have worked on it that day but once again, those crazy thoughts were going through my head as I envisioned the teenager and I having mother and son bonding time the next day. Well, while I was reading directions and looking at all of the multiple pieces that didn’t make sense, he just stared at his phone. Instead of me snapping and trying to guilt him in to “wanting” to help, I just told him I would figure it out on my own. The guilt trip thing doesn’t work on him… Damn!

I walked by the box every day this week. Some days, I even read the directions and then stared at it, almost like I was willing the inspiration to hit me. It didn’t. Finally, today while sitting on hold at work, I pulled up some You Tube videos and they made this look easy! One guy even sat there looking at his watch and taking sips of his soda. I started having visions of myself having a beer afterwards and how my facebook post was going to read… “Who needs a man when I can do this all by myself!” So, I ran to Walmart, picked up a drill bit set (Who knew that these were so handy to have around?) and headed back to the house full of determination to do it myself, and full of spite towards my male co-workers that heard my confusion while watching videos.

So, it didn’t work out like I planned. In tears, I called my friend’s husband over 1,000 miles away via facetime. I had no clue how to tell if it was a right or left handle thing and what did it mean by aligning with the door frame… Isn’t the door frame already aligned? And where am I supposed to put this… On the outside of the frame or inside of it. Tears were shed and me saying I can’t do this and a few choice cuss words were coming out in full pity frustration mode. He kept telling me that I could. Finally with a “Whatever!” and a push of the red button (I miss being able to slam down a phone receiver), I decided that if he had faith in me, I should too.

Inspiration and determination were seeping through my veins as I was trading out the drill bit for that screw driver bit thing. I was even planning my next facebook post… “Since none of the men in my life can take a hint, I am so thankful to Joey that helped me via facetime. And guess what? I did it!” That cold beer afterwards was sure sounding good! I was even thinking that I might head over to see some friends so I could brag about how accomplished I was!

Now to carry this monstrosity out. That thing is heavy! But, I didn’t have too far to go and was able to schooch it a bit and thankful that I had started back at the gym. Those arm exercises were coming in quite handy! Now to line up the hole in the frame with the screw… Wait! I’m less than 5ft 5… How am I supposed to lift this heavy thing up those few inches and balance it? Luckily, I saw my neighbor outside as she was leaving and I asked her if she would help me lift something really quick. What was I thinking… We’re both short! And it wasn’t easily sitting on the nail like the instructions promised…. Here is where I say, “Maybe it’s on the wrong way…” to which she replies, “You think?” And out she goes….

Hit the magic button to facetime Joey again for some reassurance that I really am doing this right and that I just need to do some simple thing…. No, he tells me that I need to unscrew everything I just did, flip the frame around, put the screws back in, and it will work. Oh, forget that! With frustrated tears, I tell him, “Screw it! I’m done. I’m hungry and I’m just going to pay someone to do this!” and I hit the red disconnect button, really wishing it was a phone receiver I could slam down…

And there my door sits… It’s now a couple of hours later and I’m feeling a little less stressed than I was. Thinking I might try to accomplish it tomorrow. I’m also disappointed in myself for not saying something to someone and asking for help. I know that if it was a friend of mine that said she needed help, I would run over in a heartbeat… Maybe I’m so willing to offer help because I know what it is like to need it and not ask.

This is where you are wondering if I still grabbed myself a cold beer? No. But, I did make myself a nice New York Strip Steak because, that, I can do!

PS… I didn’t post anything on facebook, either.