Life – Page 7 – Swimming With The Rain

Broken glass and love

May 29, 2020May 31, 2020

Throughout the ages, wine has always brought people together. Once considered a daily necessity in Ancient Rome, it was made available to everyone and not only symbolized life within the community, but it was also looked at with joy, celebration and the blessings from God.

Yet, the glass that we drink wine from is extremely fragile, as are human relationships. Love, like glass, must be protected and treated with special care.

Should you find yourself in a moment where glass has broken, and the previous design is no longer visible… Rearrange the pieces, and create your own unique design.

Because in the world that you have created that is full of love, understanding and happiness, you will also be the one that holds the glue… Bringing broken glass back together…

Beautiful colors for your life

May 29, 2020May 31, 2020

Always keep your heart open to the beautiful colors that life will share with you….

Pink will make you playful and will bring out your charm, to love yourself and others, with friendship and true acceptance.

Purple will guide you with wisdom, but will also bring out your creativity and magic!

Teal, which is a shade of turquoise will give you good luck, joy, and spark your intuition.

If you will keep all of these colors together,

add in some pearls for new beginnings, and sparkles for fun…

you will create a world full of love!

An open letter to my mom…

May 28, 2020May 31, 2020

We want to hold on so tight to our children and just touch them and let them know how much we love them.

Your love is always there… Let me explain… I never understood what you were going through as our mom. All of these years later, I am experiencing it. Looking back on it, YOU prepared me for being a mom.

You prepared me to fight for my oldest child at such a young age. I didn’t want to go through the anguish of what I know you did ~ losing out on time with your kids, thinking it was for the best, only to realize the pain of what it is like to be away from the ones that you gave birth to and the guilt that you must have felt… But, you also prepared me to do it with my youngest… And now, I get it. Doing something because it is for the best but still, the guilt… The guilt can be unbearable at times. My identity as a mom, just like yours was, is now down to every other weekend…

If I could go back, I would have gotten up early on those weekend mornings and ate the breakfast you always made. I realize now, you were needing to do that. You needed to feel like a mom…

Remember how you used to lay on the couch or even on the floor with us watching Full House and Family Matters? But, teenagers… they are a weird breed. We think they don’t get it… And because of that, I know the child’s point of view so I try to be a bit more patient, have those conversations that need to be had, and do my best to let my child know how much I love him. We even have shows that just he and I watch together…

You, in your own special way, prepared me for this single mom life. Because preparing a child for life and loving a child, is what makes a good mom. I never had to earn your love or hope that it would be there if I was better at this or better at that… I now know that your love was always there. You even made our friends feel loved and you still do.

So, thank you. Even when I didn’t act like it, I knew your love was there. It always has been. I always knew you would continue to love me, no matter what. And remember, you were the one that I wanted to talk to each time after I had a child. In those precious quiet moments, it was my mom I needed.

I’m sorry that it has taken me so long to put all of this together. But, I wanted you to know so you would never ever wonder again what kind of a mom you were when we were young. Because of you, my lesson on how to be a good parent – “Just show them you love them and always will”

The turtle and your journey

May 28, 2020May 31, 2020

The turtle has so many interesting characteristics to explore. While most think that a turtle is just a slow moving creature, there are lessons that can be learned. Are you interested in determination and staying strong? Maybe creating peace and harmony… Or is it the feminine energy of Mother Nature, holding everything in balance…

Two of the greatest stories ever told about persistence and determination involve a turtle. There is the Native American folklore that explains why the American Continent is also known as “Turtle Island”. While there are several variations, the story that has been passed down through the generations tells of Sky Woman ~ when she fell through the sky, the animals tried to take her back up. Since they were unable, the Great Turtle let her rest on his back while the Muskrat dove to the bottom of the ocean in search of dirt. They waited for an awfully long time and were ready to give up on the muskrat, but the Great Turtle had patience and offered his guidance as a form of trust. Once the muskrat finally returned, Sky Woman used this dirt to rub circles on the turtle, re-creating the earth.

Let’s not forget about The Tortoise and The Hare. The Tortoise was a boastful sort, convinced that he was the best and that only his way would work. Although normally about keeping the peace, the Tortoise spoke up and challenged the Hare to a race. Hare took off rather quickly, completely confident that he would win. He went so far as to take a nap knowing he was good enough. But, wait! What was Tortoise doing? He carried the weight of the heavy shell and moved along one step at a time… he didn’t stop… and he won the race!

While the obvious moral to these two classic stories would seem to be of persistence and determination, there are a couple of other things I want you to think about. The Great Turtle had dirt rubbed on his shell over and over, which probably created a mess. Look at the shell of a turtle and see the individual strokes… These circles of dirt represent our life and the beauty that can come from chaos when we stop to look… Let’s not forget about the Tortoise. Yes, he won the race and that is exciting. But, do you know what else he did? He was able to take his time and enjoy life. You see, the Hare was so caught up in the here and now, he forgot to live in the moment. The Tortoise, although slow, was able to walk along and experience life all around him.

This turtle is to remind you of your life’s journey. Although the shell that you carry on your back may be heavy and you think it is slowing you down, it anchors you reminding you to stay patient and diligent. Life goes by quick enough. So, in the chaotic circles of life, take your time… And experience the beauty of life.

2012 – My heart is breaking

May 27, 2020May 31, 2020

In the early spring of 2012, my boyfriend and I were coming to an end and my heart was just breaking. Instead of texting him or bothering any of my friends with what was going through my mind after 5 1/2 years of being with this man, I typed it all in to the notes section of my phone.

March 3rd, 10:16pm ~ Saturday night and I think I am doing a good job keeping myself busy. But, you are crossing my mind. This is when I have to be strong and remember that those three little words can be spoken, but unless there is action, those words don’t mean anything. And I know that you love me, but I don’t know if it is out of habit or if you truly do. I wonder how far you will go to prove your love. I just want you to be with me. More than in just presence, but to truly be WITH me. I want to be your friend and your support, and I want to feel like you are listening, not looking around elsewhere, making me feel like you are waiting for some better conversation to come along.

March 4th, 1:47pm ~ I feel like I am hurting. Not to sit and cry. I feel like something is missing. I am here at my son’s first baseball game and you are supposed to be with me. We are supposed to be a part of each others lives. But, honestly, I don’t feel like you would be here anyways, and if you were, I wouldn’t enjoy myself because I would be so worried if you were bored or not.

March 5th, 10:16pm ~ I feel good right now. I felt good today. I think it helped that Kelly wasn’t at work today so I stayed extremely busy. I did think of you when the boss and I went to lunch. We went to Ocean Cafe for lunch and it was such a beautiful day! At one point, I saw your client, Michael Fisher walking through looking for someone. I don’t know if he saw me or not, but I knew that if he was waiting on you perhaps, I wasn’t sure how I would handle that. I put away that thought and told myself I would deal with that if it happened. I met the girl that John is taking to Prom. Something was said and I said something about you and realized that I said boyfriend. What was I to say with him sitting there? I haven’t said anything to him. I just need to get out of the habit of talking about or referring to you.

March 12th, 3:06pm ~ I left work on Friday to run home and grab some xanax. I couldn’t deal with the pain / anxiety anymore. Friday was rough. Too many songs on the radio that had me thinking and remembering. Sunday was hard. I contemplated going walking on a nature trail. I was going to tell you I was going and if you would like to meet me so we could talk, that would be fine. I was more afraid of you coming up with an excuse than not knowing if you would show. Sad, huh? I ended up sending you a text asking how you were doing and you seemed to care less. After my doctor appointment today, I should have been texting you to tell you what he said, and then I realized that it wouldn’t even make a difference to you. You won’t change. Maybe for someone else, but not for me. All you see in our relationship is the bad. You don’t see the good or even remember how you used to enjoy spending time with me. How we used to have lunch or go grocery shopping. How you used to come over and we wold actually laugh and play the Wii. You blame not doing anything on being in a rut. Well, you can’t come out of a rut by not doing anything. But, if that is really how you want to enjoy life, laying alone on the couch, I hope you find that person that will do that with you. I want to enjoy life; not my couch.

Pampered Chef Bell Pepper Herb Rub

May 27, 2020July 25, 2020

No matter how often I have tried, I just can’t eat a bell pepper. Something about the texture. It’s not about the heartburn, although I have heard that a lot of people do have issues with that. Strange thing is, I love the flavoring of it, though.

Anyways, there I was doing an order through a Pampered Chef party and I needed to spend just a few dollars more to get the freebie. I am a firm believer in the Pampered Chef products, so I figured they would do halfway decent with their seasonings. If it was bad, I was only out $6.

This stuff is amazing! I add just a bit of it to almost everything I make, just to give it an extra pizzazz! Scrambled eggs, canned spaghetti sauce, soup… You name it.

So, there you go. Give it a try. You won’t regret it. And while you’re ordering it, if you don’t have a Pampered Chef stone, invest in the pizza one or a flat bar… You’ll understand the loyalty of them.

A bit of exercise at home…

May 26, 2020May 31, 2020

Getting in to an exercise routine can be quite tedious. Finding time (or money) to get to the gym can be exhausting. Plus, the thought of strangers watching us workout can be quite intimidating.

Or maybe you do go to the gym but not as often as you’d like. Getting in to a routine of going generally means that something has to be sacrificed – sleep, picking up kids, being home at a decent time…

This is where I am here to tell you about a super easy trick… Dust off those weights that you have kept on the floor in your closet or pick up a couple the next time you are at the store (they’re pretty inexpensive) and keep them in your living room!

“Listen woman! I’m not turning my living room in to a home gym!”

Yah, I know. Keep them in a cute basket or next to your chair… Somewhere that you won’t crush your pinky toe in to them (it really hurts, by the way). Next time a commercial comes on, pick those little suckers up and start doing some lifts.

A little bit goes a long way and you’ll start to feel better. Give it a try!

I Should Have Taken Shop Class

May 23, 2020June 14, 2020

It’s official. I feel absolutely defeated. It has just been a crazy week at work and super busy. While part of me loves the rush of it, I get to where I can feel my limit is being pushed and I start to feel overwhelmed. So, what made me think that I could install the glass storm door I bought from Lowe’s last weekend?

I’m single and in this day and age, I should be able to do anything, right? Ugh! Sometimes, all of this “I am woman, hear me roar!” seems so highly over rated! So, why pay the extra $100 for shipping when I have a friend with a truck? So, Dalia and I had a delightful drive to Lowe’s, chatting and catching up. When we walked in, I was full of confidence because I knew just what I wanted. I was full of productive visions in my head as we me carried the LARGE box in to my patio room. I should have worked on it that day but once again, those crazy thoughts were going through my head as I envisioned the teenager and I having mother and son bonding time the next day. Well, while I was reading directions and looking at all of the multiple pieces that didn’t make sense, he just stared at his phone. Instead of me snapping and trying to guilt him in to “wanting” to help, I just told him I would figure it out on my own. The guilt trip thing doesn’t work on him… Damn!

I walked by the box every day this week. Some days, I even read the directions and then stared at it, almost like I was willing the inspiration to hit me. It didn’t. Finally, today while sitting on hold at work, I pulled up some You Tube videos and they made this look easy! One guy even sat there looking at his watch and taking sips of his soda. I started having visions of myself having a beer afterwards and how my facebook post was going to read… “Who needs a man when I can do this all by myself!” So, I ran to Walmart, picked up a drill bit set (Who knew that these were so handy to have around?) and headed back to the house full of determination to do it myself, and full of spite towards my male co-workers that heard my confusion while watching videos.

So, it didn’t work out like I planned. In tears, I called my friend’s husband over 1,000 miles away via facetime. I had no clue how to tell if it was a right or left handle thing and what did it mean by aligning with the door frame… Isn’t the door frame already aligned? And where am I supposed to put this… On the outside of the frame or inside of it. Tears were shed and me saying I can’t do this and a few choice cuss words were coming out in full pity frustration mode. He kept telling me that I could. Finally with a “Whatever!” and a push of the red button (I miss being able to slam down a phone receiver), I decided that if he had faith in me, I should too.

Inspiration and determination were seeping through my veins as I was trading out the drill bit for that screw driver bit thing. I was even planning my next facebook post… “Since none of the men in my life can take a hint, I am so thankful to Joey that helped me via facetime. And guess what? I did it!” That cold beer afterwards was sure sounding good! I was even thinking that I might head over to see some friends so I could brag about how accomplished I was!

*The frame is attached! Pretty impressed with myself!*

Now to carry this monstrosity out. That thing is heavy! But, I didn’t have too far to go and was able to schooch it a bit and thankful that I had started back at the gym. Those arm exercises were coming in quite handy! Now to line up the hole in the frame with the screw… Wait! I’m less than 5ft 5… How am I supposed to lift this heavy thing up those few inches and balance it? Luckily, I saw my neighbor outside as she was leaving and I asked her if she would help me lift something really quick. What was I thinking… We’re both short! And it wasn’t easily sitting on the nail like the instructions promised…. Here is where I say, “Maybe it’s on the wrong way…” to which she replies, “You think?” And out she goes….

Hit the magic button to facetime Joey again for some reassurance that I really am doing this right and that I just need to do some simple thing…. No, he tells me that I need to unscrew everything I just did, flip the frame around, put the screws back in, and it will work. Oh, forget that! With frustrated tears, I tell him, “Screw it! I’m done. I’m hungry and I’m just going to pay someone to do this!” and I hit the red disconnect button, really wishing it was a phone receiver I could slam down…

*Propped up against the wall for the night*

And there my door sits… It’s now a couple of hours later and I’m feeling a little less stressed than I was. Thinking I might try to accomplish it tomorrow. I’m also disappointed in myself for not saying something to someone and asking for help. I know that if it was a friend of mine that said she needed help, I would run over in a heartbeat… Maybe I’m so willing to offer help because I know what it is like to need it and not ask.

This is where you are wondering if I still grabbed myself a cold beer? No. But, I did make myself a nice New York Strip Steak because, that, I can do!

*I can’t grill but I can use a cast iron skillet!*

PS… I didn’t post anything on facebook, either.

Two Little Girls in a Store

May 20, 2020June 14, 2020

I went to Cox cable earlier today to return my cable boxes, since I got rid of cable a few weeks ago. More on that at a different time. Anyways, as I am sitting there looking around waiting for my turn, I noticed two little girls. One spoke English another spoke Spanish. The dad of the little girl that spoke English was trying to teach his daughter how to say, “How are you?” in Spanish. (Como Estas) The little girl tried to pronounce it but couldn’t.

Still looking around the room, I noticed the employees helping out some mother and daughter whose equipment had been hit by lightening. He said it was quite common and they were describing the strike.

The little girl that spoke English was wandering around the store, within view of her parents. She was awfully cute in a blue maxi dress with flowers and she had long blond, almost light brown hair. The Spanish speaking girl with long dark hair in a red flowered sundress was sitting quietly next to her mom watching this girl.

I then saw the most heartwarming thing… The blond girl motioned to the dark haired girl. The dark haired girl pointed at herself and the blond girl nodded. I then watched the sweet little Spanish Girl walk over to the the blond girl who was holding coloring sheets and crayons. They both sat down at the table and started coloring, pointing at the other girls design and smiling.

Smiling, I thought to myself…. Why can’t we all be this way? Life was so much easier when all we needed to have in common was the fact that we both wanted to color. I wish the adult world didn’t care about language or whether we would see each other again. I wish, as adults, we could see that one spark of similarity and know that everything was right in this world, even for just that one moment. I wish all of us adults could go back to that pure of heart innocence and just enjoy the moment. And color. Coloring is fun!

My Grandmother Asked Me To Tell You She’s Sorry…

May 20, 2020June 14, 2020

Premise ~ Elsa is a 7 year old girl (almost 8) with a grandmother that we would describe as “free spirited”. She tells her granddaughter fairy tales through life and about several make believe worlds. But, when her grandma passes away, Elsa has a treasure hunt of finding letters and delivering to people that her grandma wants to apologize to. Although this sounds like a big task for a 7 year old girl, she learns about her grandma, and life, along the way.

Thoughts ~ It took me a bit to get in to this book, but I learned a lesson that you should always read a book up until page 100. If you can get that far, you will either love it and want to keep reading or you will realize that you just can’t. So, yes. At first, I was kind of like, “Meh…” but since I am the one that picked out the book for book club and I’m the one that chooses the questions we discuss, I couldn’t fake not having enough time to read. Well, let me tell you, once you get in to it and realize how it will all start coming together, it’s fantastic! It made me wish that my own parents, and even myself to my children, had told fairy tales to explain how the real world works. I knew that I wouldn’t have enough time to finish the book prior to book club so I downloaded MY FIRST audio book and finished it that way. My goodness, so well worth it! The audio book is narrated by Joan Walker and her English accent draws you in to the story and brings these characters so much life! Honestly, I would listen to her read the dictionary, I just loved her so much. Back to the book, I had never read anything by Fredrik Backman before but having read this, I will read others. Or listen if Joan Walker is narrating. This book kind of brought out the child in me and made me want to live in a world where there were fairytales being told of knights, princesses being protected and the monster that really isn’t a monster. So, let me just clarify, although they do talk of fairytales, this isn’t a book for a 5 year old. But, if I had a pre-teen that had some maturity, I would let them read. This book reminds you that you shouldn’t judge someone just by what you see on the outside. Everyone has a “story” and that may be why they are that way. But, once a bit of love is shown to them and understanding, people may just change.

Book Club Questions (Do not read any further if you have not finished the book)

The book starts with the pronouncement, “Every seven-year-old deserves a superhero.” Do you agree?

Were you surprised by the ways in which each of the apartment tenants were connected to the others? Which relationship surprised you the most? Why?

Elsa loves the Harry Potter books. If you have not read them but understand the gist or if you have read them, why do you think she related to these so well?

Did your opinion of Britt-Marie change toward the end of the book?

Did you relate to any of the characters in the book whether personally or someone else?

If you were one of the tenants and Elsa was describing your “super power”, what do you hope it would be?

Granny says, “It’s a grandmother’s prerogative never to have to show her worst sides to her grandchild, Elsa. Never to have to talk about what she was like before she became a grandmother.” How did this make you feel and do you agree?

Would you like a grandmother like Granny?

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