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Swimming With The Rain
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International Women’s Day

  • March 8, 2023

Today is International Women’s Day and if you need inspiration for a work meeting or even to inspire yourself, then you are at the perfect place!

After spending a year and a half in an HR position that involved a lot of employee motivation and working one on one with Senior Management with business needs, I began to see a trend with our employees… A lot of these young women lacked confidence in their abilities and were afraid to speak up. I’m not going to lie and say that I am the most confident person. I am finally, on the verge of 50, finding my own voice. This is in thanks to the young women that I worked with on a daily basis, and as I began to stand up for them, I needed to begin to stand up for myself.

Last year to celebrate International Women’s Day, around 15 of us squeezed in to our conference room that was intended for 10 people. Women all giggled when maneuvering around and were excited to have a moment without Senior Management around as intimidation. I started the meeting with telling them how thankful I was for all of them and how each made a difference in my day. I looked at each one and brought up a positive aspect, whether it was the spark they had during the interview, or how they helped out another co-worker. I was vulnerable for a moment and gave a bit of my personal background and assured each one that they had what it takes to succeed. “Because, if I can make it in life, so can you.”

I then brought up six talking points in hopes that it would make a change in our office, and slow down office gossip. It was important for these women to see that if we support each other, we will all feel empowered.

group of people watching gray laptop computer

Celebrate each others strengths and give praise. It’s contagious! I began to see women cheering for each other or walking by someone’s desk telling them “great job” or “thank you”.

Back each other up in meetings. This is a powerful one. During my meetings with Management, I was often the only woman in there. I understood what it felt like to not have an ally.

three women in front of desk
women at the meeting

Include less experienced women in your projects. How else are we going to learn and expand our roles if someone doesn’t teach us?

Be approachable and offer help. One of the best compliments I had from an employee is when she told me that she told another employee, “Go see HR. She isn’t just there to hear work related things. She has really helped me in my personal life, also.”

positive businesswoman doing paperwork in office
two women sitting on couch

Be open about your own vulnerabilities and failings. We think that successful women “just got there” or that they are special. Knowing the lengths that other women had to take to get to where they are inspires other women to know that their hard work will pay off.

Accept and embrace each others individuality. If everyone was the same, how boring would that be? Learn about other people and their cultures, hobbies, lifestyle. Keep learning.

light nature sky sunset

What I did next seemed like a typical move for me, but my employees were not expecting it. I printed out the quotes below and had each one on individual pieces of paper, folded up, placed in a jar. As a firm believer in how things work out the way they are supposed to, I told each lady to reach in and grab the piece of paper that felt right to them and those would be their words. When it was over, it was truly amazing how each woman identified with “their” quote and several of them taped their quotes to their computer monitor as a daily reminder.

Feminism isn’t about making women strong. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength. G.D. Anderson

There is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself. Hannah Gadsby

The most important thing one woman can do for another is expand her sense of actual possibilities. Adrienne Rich

We realize the importance of our voice when we are silenced. Malala Yousafzai

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt

We need to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves. We have to step up as women and take the lead. Beyoncé

I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves.

Every woman’s success should be an inspiration to another. We’re strongest when we cheer each other on. Serena Williams

She wasn’t looking for a knight. She was looking for a sword. Atticus

Above all, be the heroine of your life. Not the victim. Nora Ephron

Girls should never be afraid to be smart. Emma Watson

A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink. Gina Carey

Your life isn’t yours if you constantly care what others think. Unknown

If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it. Margaret Fuller

A successful woman is one who can build a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at her. Unknown

A woman with a voice is by definition a strong woman. But the search to find that voice can be remarkably difficult. Melinda Gates

We all have a ‘Wonder Woman’ inside of us. Unknown

I want every girl to know that her voice can change the world. Malala

Real queens fix each other’s crowns. Unknown

There’s something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. R.G. Moon

A strong woman stands up for herself. A stronger woman stands up for everyone else. Unknown

You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones you see building one another up instead of tearing each other down. Unknown

She overcame everything that was meant to destroy her. Rumi

It’s okay if you fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire. Colette Werden

What’s the greatest lesson a woman should learn? That since day one, she’s already had everything she needs within herself. It’s the world that convinced her she did not. Rupi Kaur

I know what I bring to the table… So trust me when I say I’m not afraid to eat alone. Unknown

Be the woman you needed as a girl. Unknown

And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back, because her passion burned brighter than her fears. Mark Anthony

I left that company seven months later. In fact, so did several other women as they became confident enough to speak up for themselves. The great thing is, I still hear from several of them as they have secured better jobs and found themselves deserving of a better life. I hold each of these ladies dear to my heart and although the company was awful to work for, these ladies helped me find myself and my voice and in turn, I helped them.

lit candles on cake selective focus photography

Planning My Own Birthday Party

  • March 11, 2021

I’ll be honest… I have a problem celebrating my birthday. It is not due to my age, nor that I am single, or that my family is across the other side of the country. And if you ask me what I want to do for my birthday, I will tell you different ideas and it sounds like we’re all going to have a lot of fun, until the month of my birthday starts. Unfortunately, since my big day is towards the end, I literally have over three weeks to make myself miserable, cancel your plans, and cry.

Why do I dislike celebrating my birthday? Because through the years, I have listened to people talk about the obligation of having to celebrate someone else. When I hear someone grumble about having to go to dinner for a family member’s big day or the hassle of putting together a luncheon for a co-worker, I wonder if that is what is said about me. As I type these words, my heart is pounding and I can feel anxiety forming.

Yet, I love to celebrate other people’s birthdays! To me, it is the one day out of the year that YOU get to feel special. (In the interest of preventing an argument, you should always feel special). On your birthday, if you want to wear a tiara and a sash, I say GO FOR IT! But, there will always be the people that roll their eyes or make snide remarks when a girl walks in with a smile on her face excitedly saying, “It’s my birthday!” I am standing up for them right now and telling you to back off. Let these women have their moments! You do not know what they are going through. This may be the one day of the year that they have decided to set all of their life stresses aside and they just want to relax and enjoy their special day.

Birthdays mean different things to different people – it could be the fact that they are grateful for where they are in life, perhaps it is a reminder of another year that has beaten their self esteem down, some may be thankful that this is a time when all of the family gathers together. I say all of this to get to my point… Sometimes, you have to plan your own birthday party. I am not meaning in the selfish, “No one ever does it how I want it” kind of way, either. Just follow with my thought process and keep and open mind, please.

I’ve recently found the TV Show Blue Bloods on ION tv, and am now a huge fan of the Reagan family with their strong loyalty to each other. In an episode that I watched, Frank Reagan (played by Tom Selleck) has a birthday coming up and it is well known that he has an issue with people acknowledging it, so he asks his father if there was something from his childhood that happened to perhaps make him feel this way.

I want to add some insight right here… The part where he asked his dad such an insightful question, touched me quite a bit, because it showed his vulnerable side. I understand that this is a tv show, but whichever writer came up with that wording, BRILLIANT! I say this because sometimes in large families, children are made fun of on their birthdays, without adults realizing it. Kids ask when they can open their gifts, they open them too fast or too slow, they don’t say thank you long enough, they look embarrassed when people are singing happy birthday, they don’t look overly excited for the clothes…. Let me explain something right here. When kids go to another kids birthday party, one of their favorite things is watching their friends open gifts and seeing all of the cool toys! So, when it’s their own party, imagine the elation at being the one that gets to create this moment for the group of kids waiting to see new toys. Nine-year-old’s are still trying to figure out how to control their excitement so they may not run straight over to you to saying thank you, while the paper is still taped to the box. And honestly, what kid wants clothes except for teenage girls? Not to mention, the worst thing you can do to a person that gets super uncomfortable being in the spotlight (who’s hand is raised here?) is have 20 people sing happy birthday while staring straight at you. That being said, those issues that arise on a child’s birthday when they are chastised for their behavior, particularly in front of others, can carry over in to adulthood, especially when they do not learn how to deal with their own feelings.

Back to Frank Reagan… Through conversation with his dad, he realized that it stemmed from his 9th birthday party, when his dad had bought tickets for all of the boys in his class to go and watch a baseball game. Unfortunately, dad gave the parents the wrong date and none of his friends showed. “Son, this was back before cell phone.” Imagine this 9 year old child thinking that no one wanted to celebrate him… In “current times” on Blue Bloods, after Police Commissioner Reagan’s family sings happy birthday to him and he blows out the candles, he announces that he rented a van and they are all headed to a baseball game. The thrill on everyone’s face was pure joy! One of his children, while smiling, said, “Who plans their own surprise birthday?”, to which he replied, “I did.” I watched this unfold and thought, “THAT IS BRILLIANT!”

Let me explain why… For those of us that get anxious about our birthdays and feel guilt about people being “forced” to celebrate it, we try to plan something that we know people will enjoy. Why? Because we truly appreciate seeing the excitement on other peoples faces, and it takes the stress off so we don’t have to be the center of attention.

If it is my birthday and I tell you that I want to make dinner for YOU, please let me. I don’t want brunch with 15 people and listen to mindless chatter… I would rather have brunch with one or two others and have great conversation. Because it is the one day of the year that I want to set aside my worries, allow myself to be carefree, and not be told that I am selfish for truly enjoying ONE day of the year. The best gift you can give me is to let me say thank you to you for being there for me. Let me show my love for you, and you graciously accept.

If at any time while reading this, you felt like I was speaking directly to you, please go straight to the website’s home page and read my personal disclaimer.

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