Health & Spiritual – Page 2 – Swimming With The Rain

Life Does Not Go As Planned

March 8, 2021

Life does not go as planned. There. I said it. Very rarely do we get that white picket fence, two kids where the son is a baseball star and the daughter is Homecoming queen, Fido sleeping peacefully in front of a roaring fire, a garage door opening to the organized wall of yard tools next to the shiny mini-van, and a husband walking in holding the newspaper greeting you with a kiss on the cheek.

When I was 10, my friends and I had plans of how we would decorate our houses, while living in close proximity, with children around the same ages. Our biggest concern was whether we would want open floor plans with the front door near the corner of the house or in the middle. (FYI – I’m now not a fan of open floor plans, they’re too noisy for me.)

When I was in my early teens, I wanted to be a psychologist, since I was good at listening to other peoples problems. Somewhere along the way, I realized that if I couldn’t solve my own problems, how would I solve others?

Around 16 or 17, I then day dreamed about working in a high rise building with a corner view, amidst all of the hustle and bustle. Doing what? I have no clue, because at that age, I still didn’t know myself.

Shortly after that, I wanted to be a Physical Therapist since the idea of working with Rodeo Cowboys appealed to my teenage boy crazy side. What I didn’t know then is that there is a lot of science involved, which has never been my strong suit.

Then life happened… I married, had a child, moved across the country thanks to the military, divorced, had another child, and experienced life.

I have experienced more in my life than most would ever care to. I have been knocked down too many times to count. But, do you know what that means? I have gotten back up each time. Sometimes, slower than others, but I have always gotten back up. Each time has made me a bit more resilient and I have taken a lesson from those struggles.

It is during those struggles that I have tried my best to keep an open mind on where my journey is headed, for sometimes I have no clue what the end game could possibly be. I have had to learn to trust in God and know that He has me on a path for a specific purpose. Although I may not know the reason, my steps may not be for my pleasure, but to be there for someone else in their time of need.

You see, with all of the good and bad that I have experienced in life, I am able to tell people that they will get through their hard times. It is tough to lose friends, family, jobs, anything that you depend on. But, I am living proof that you will make it through any of those life altering situations. Maybe that is why God has allowed me to go through what I have, to share my story with others along the way… To encourage hope, to offer guidance, to give them confidence to get back up. And since I have lived these struggles, do you really think I am going to be the one to judge you? No. I empathize because I know that God can throw a heck of a curve ball.

I can tell you one thing I always wanted to be when I grew up… A journalist. And look at me now with my own blog! I am not one that is followed by many, but I have found a way to put my experiences in to written form and to share some of what I have learned in life. For that, I am thankful. Because to be honest, white picket fences are really hard to mow around.

Reverse Gossip

February 26, 2021

We know that attitudes are contagious, whether positive or negative. I am kind of grouchy when I wake up and my family always adjusted to it. And then along came my first child. He was born happy! He would wake up from naps smiling and would just be so excited to see me. How could I possibly act cranky towards a sweet innocent child that was jumping up and down in his crib when I came in. So, I had to change my morning attitude but it was easy to do with him.

Of course we love being around those positive people because they make us feel special and we also find ourselves happier. For instance, you have the option to sit on the beach for the day with one of two people… One of them is a constant complainer. If you say that it is a beautiful summer day, they will tell you that it is too hot. The other one looks at things from a positive view point so while they may agree that it is hot, they will also add that thankfully you two can get in the water when you need to cool off. Or better yet, they brought ice cold beer with them. Tell us about a situation where you encountered having to spend time with either of these types of people and how it reflected on you.

If your attitude is contagious, can positive gossip be contagious? Of course it can! Look at restaurant reviews and word of mouth! With social media as the most powerful influencer, think about when a new restaurant opens and one of your friends goes in the first few weeks. There will always be a post about the service and food. From there, you may decide that you need to go very soon, or you’ll wait six months and let them get their kinks worked out and see if they’re still open. Which places have you NOT been to but have heard about? Which places have you been to and told others about your experience?

One of my favorite examples about reverse gossip ~ There was a woman in our social circle that always showed up for Bunco, outdoor concerts, girl nights, etc. For the better part of a year, no one seemed to befriend her. She wasn’t rude, in fact she was Southern and had that syrupy Alabama drawl. She was pleasant enough, but we never took the time to get to know her on a personal level. Finally, I decided that if she was going to keep coming around, I would create a goal for myself to find something to connect with her about. During a girls night dinner, we started asking HER questions instead of just including her in the conversation. Come to find out, she was a fascinating woman! She was a psychologist with the military, had travelled all around the world and experienced many different cultures. The friends that were there that evening began to share this with others in our social circle, and I began to watch the effect this had on other people, as even more women accepted her and made her feel included. It made me realize that our gossiping about how we weren’t really sure why she was still coming around, impacted those around us. Once we started spreading positive “gossip”, it changed the way others looked at her.

Here is an example conversation of turning negative gossip in to something positive…

John: Mary is really lazy.

You: I’ve never noticed that. She is talented, wouldn’t you agree?

John (Grudgingly): Yes, I guess so.

Later you see Mary at the coffee machine and the conversation goes as follows:

You: I was talking with John earlier. He was saying you are very talented (after all, he did agree to that, didn’t he?).

Mary: Wow! I didn’t know he thought that of me. I’ve always felt he was very judgmental and snobby.

You: Hmm, never picked up on that. Really hard worker, isn’t he?

Mary: Well, I guess you have to give him credit for that.

The next day you and John are talking and you happen to mention:

You: Mary was talking about how hard a worker you are.

John: Really? Didn’t think she liked me, but maybe she’s not so bad after all.

Now, the next time John and Mary cross paths they both see each other in an entirely different light, with a completely different attitude and set of expectations – one of peace, enjoyment, and kindness. And it all happened because of you.

Let’s try this game about “Reverse Gossip”. In this game, instead of telling people the gossip people say about them or others, let’s repeat only the good that people say (even if we have to “suggest” that good), and find reasons to judge others favorably in all other situations. If we spent more time speaking favorably about people, imagine the positivity you would create for those around you.

Would you rather be known for spreading hurtful lies or having a positive outlook? Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?

***The above was used in a guided group conversation. Similar to a bible study, but without the religious references. If you have questions on how to spark this conversation amongst friends, co-workers, or in a social circle, feel free to email me at SwimmingWithTheRain@yahoo.com

Tell Yourself You’re Happy

February 26, 2021

When I was first married to the military, I came across Captain Yost. He was a tall, thin man and always very welcoming towards our young Enlisted family. Of course each time we saw each other, he would ask the obligatory “Hi, how are you?” and I would tell him about a teething infant or a husband that wouldn’t mow the yard. Yet, when I would ask him, he would reply with, “I am doing wonderful!” One afternoon while walking my teething child in his stroller, we saw Captain Yost out in his yard. Once again I asked how he was doing and he told me that he was doing wonderful. Puzzled at his happiness, I finally asked what made him feel this way, or at least answer that way all the time. His explanation, “Why not? I tell myself that I am happy and I believe it.” I haven’t seen Captain Yost since 1996 but his words still stick with me.

The definition for happiness is “the state of being happy”. Synonyms include ~ pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, cheerfulness, merriment, gaiety, joy, joyfulness, glee, delight, good spirits, lightheartedness, well-being, enjoyment. Come up with a few sentences off the top of your head that include one of these words.

Some people assume that just because someone seems to be happy the majority of the time, they are not in touch with reality or they are faking it. But, happiness is a choice. And when you decide to make that choice, you may have to work at it. I was talking with a friend the other evening, explained my concept that we all have a choice on how we react to things, and we talked in depth of how to deal with some of the frustrating people in his life. For instance, I told him to turn it around on them; that with the constant complainer, ask her what would make her happy in that particular situation. Obviously, some of my “instructing” worked. The next day, he dealt with a motorcycle that tried to cut him off in traffic and instead of getting mad at something that was beyond his control, he took a deep breath and went back to life.

Happiness is a choice, you cannot choose what happens, but you can choose your reaction to it and be happy. ~ RVM

Happiness is not by chance, but by choice. ~ Jim Rohn

The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering. ~Miguel Angel Ruiz

Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama

We all have hapiness inside and it’s not at all hard to find. It’s sealed deep in our hearts and guarded by our soul. You don’t have to beg to use it. All you have to do is choose it! ~Bebeth

An important decision I made was to resist playing the Blame Game. The day I realized that I am in charge of how I will approach problems in my life, that things will turn out better or worse because of me and nobody else, that was the day I knew I would be a happier and healthier person. And that was the day I knew I could truly build a life that matters. ~Steve Goodier

Though no one can backtrack and create a brand new start, Everyone is capable of taking their life in a brand new direction. ~ Germany Kent

Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy and you will be. ~ Domonique Bertolucci, The Happiness Code: Ten Keys to Being the Best You Can Be

Feeling happy or hurt by every little thing is a choice that makes life beautiful or ugly. ~ Archana Chaurasia Kapoor

Relationships matter. The roles people play in your life will influence you so get serious about who you allow to affect you. Nurture those relationships in your circle that foster success and happiness, and continuously position yourself among change agents and thought leaders. ~ Germany Kent

Living in happiness means practicing the dance of “detachment-attachment”. On a daily basis, we must sense which moments, which events, which people, thoughts and circumstances to detach ourselves from; and which ones to attach ourselves to. Learning this dance, and doing it well, leads to happiness. ~ C. JoyBell C.

When you decide to live in a state of happiness, it does not mean that you are not allowed to have other feelings, they just become less frequent. After a while, you will realize that you begin to look at experiences differently, recognizing that the stressors can be moments of opportunity and not opposition.

Happy people know their strengths and use those to build their confidence. Think of it as throwing together a big birthday celebration ~ if you get nervous talking to people but you are a really good cook, choose to be the one to create the elaborate meal, being able to stay behind scenes, and let someone else do the schmoozing. So, let’s get to know ourselves and toot our own horns for a bit ~

I like myself because…

I’m an expert at…

People say I am a good…

What I enjoy most is…

I have a natural talent for…

I feel good when I…

The traits I admire myself for are…

I feel peaceful when…

Use these things towards encouraging your happiness! Of course, it is always important to have an open mind but if you know that you enjoy being creative for instance, be creative! Wander around Michael’s or Hobby Lobby to get ideas. If you enjoy reading, join a book club to talk with other readers. Cooking big dinners could be something you excel at but you live alone… Well, invite others over to share dinner time with you. Feeling nervous about volunteering for something? Speak up! You know what you are good at and what you enjoy. Offer to do it. Just like having to deal with a kid’s sports team… Some moms are meant for the “Team Mom” position. I am not. But, I can cut up some oranges for half time. Do what you love!

To quote Aristotle, “Happiness is a state of activity”. Do you know of any truly happy people that sit home every day, all day? This may sound like a great thing to do but after awhile, boredom sets in, it’s the same routine day after day, they are no longer thriving. The happiest of people enjoy experiencing life, pursuing passions and building connections. Of course, it also depends on your mood. If you have had a hectic week, sometimes all you want is to just sit still for one night and stare at your tv. Does this make you unhappy? No. On the contrary, that might make you happy by re-energizing yourself. Then there are those particular days that you just feel rough and you need to make that connection with people to feel that confidence again. Start taking notice of when you need to be by yourself and when you need to be with people. Once you start paying attention to this, it will help to increase your happiness awareness. Tell us about what you do when you need to be re-energized…

Part of learning to be happy is being able to find the good in situations, the silver linings. Or it may not necessarily be the good but the lesson or trying to look at something with a different frame of mind. You have to be willing to see things from another perspective. Then you have to train yourself to quit thinking negative about so many things.

Years ago, I started this process and it was hard at times. For instance, if a car was speeding and weaving in and out of traffic, I would think to myself about how there really is the possibility that they just got a call that a loved one is in the hospital and they are trying to get to them. What about the mom that is half ignoring her child in the grocery store? Well, she may have been listening to that child all day and her patience level is really low so I smile at the mom to let her know I understand. Most recently, I lost my phone. I tried everything I could to get it back and finally had to give up. At one point, I remember standing there wanting to yell and scream but I thought, “Here I am telling people how they need to lead a more positive life and if I can’t practice what I preach, what good is that?” So, I took a deep breath and accepted the fact that my phone was lost. Yes, it did put a damper on the day, but I did not become as angry as I could have. What are some examples of things you have had to look at in a different light so you wouldn’t get upset?

One of my favorite places to shop is Fresh Market, and I tell people all the time that it is the most pleasurable shopping experience ever. When you walk in, there is something about the hardwood floor, the display cases, the smell… Just the whole atmosphere, including the classical music at the perfect volume. Stop and think about what your favorite places do to create a relaxing atmosphere.

The self-talk that you keep running through your mind is like the background music of your life. It plays almost continuously, like a constant chatter without necessarily a specific thought.

The self-talk may not be something that we say out loud but we hear it each time we look in the mirror, talk to a co-worker, text with a friend. We have programmed our mind to think a certain way and that is the only way it knows how to react. If each time a co-worker asks you a questions and you think, “You again?!?” this will put you in to a negative state. So, if our subconscious talks to us in a certain way and it is OUR subconscious which we trained, we need to reprogram it to think positive self-talk.

Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you. ~ Beverly Engel, The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused — And Start Standing Up for Yourself

The way you choose to think and speak about yourself (to yourself and others), IS A CHOICE! You may have spent your whole life talking about yourself in a negative way, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue that path. ~ Miya Yamanouchi

My challenge to you today is to observe your thoughts and internal dialogue and recognize if and when you speak poorly to yourself. We all have moments of self-deprecation and very often we are too hard on ourselves. Today, start to be caring and supportive of yourself. Observe that little voice in your head and say something positive to yourself instead! ~ Elaine Seiler, Getting Rid of Negative Energy

Don’t undermine yourself. The one person who should never undermine you, is you. Believe in possibilities. Believe in yourself. Believe you are capable. Engage in positive self-talk. Be an advocate for your betterment. Be your own friend. Be loving to yourself. Be forgiving to yourself. Encourage yourself. Celebrate yourself. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Let go of your limiting beliefs. You are capable of more than you think. ~ Akiroq Brost

The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill

A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes. Mahatma Gandhi

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results. Willie Nelson

Here we are and you are wondering what the point was in all of this rambling about happiness… Did it make you think? Did it make you realize how your words to yourself can make an impact on your mood?

Don’t necessarily lie to people about how you are doing. If your dog just died, you do not have to say you are doing wonderful. But, don’t complain that no one ever asks you to do anything, and then turn down every offer. Being happy also includes being grateful. Standing on your feet making dinner after a 9 hour work day? Be thankful you have a job and money to feed your family. Find the positive in situations. This is what you need to work on.

Final example – I recently moved from the warm beaches in Florida to the snow-covered Mid-west. Each time someone asks me what I think, I say, “I love it!” Do you know what they end up doing? Laughing, smiling, and we have started our conversation on a positive feeling.

The above was used in a guided group conversation. Similar to a bible study, but without the religious references. If you have questions on how to spark this conversation amongst friends, co-workers, or in a social circle, feel free to email me at SwimmingWithTheRain@yahoo.com

Atmosphere of Growth

February 24, 2021

I was listening to a podcast one day and they proposed the question, “What did you like to do when you were 10?” Based on that answer, you may be able to figure out what would make you happy NOW. So, I started thinking about this and remembering how our joy was pretty carefree at that point in time. I researched this topic for two weeks and I wasn’t feeling the “spark” I normally get when I have hit on to something. So, I threw out my notes and started over with an open mind.

Instead of doing the research to have google tell me, I asked myself, “What is an atmosphere of growth?” To me, it is basically a couple of things ~ accepting and understanding things from your past and saying, “Why Not?”. For all of this to work, you have to be willing to open your mind a bit. If someone says, “Green is the greatest color!” but we all know that Purple is, ask them why they feel that way and listen. So, open your mind while we delve in to this.

“When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defenses to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. We cannot love when we feel fear…. When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all.” ― Gerald G. Jampolsky

“Hanging on to resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” – Ann Landers

“Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with you. You’ll see that no one else other than you was responsible. The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival.” ~ Osho

“The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.” – Caroline Myss

“I don’t regret difficulties I experienced; I think they helped me to become the person I am today. I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training; he doesn’t remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right.” – Paolo Coelho

“The past was always there, lived inside of you, and it helped to make you who you were. But it had to be placed in perspective. The past could not dominate the future.” ― Barbara Taylor Bradford, Unexpected Blessings

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” – Barbara De Angelis

“Never regret- If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” – Anonymous

“We have to do with the past only as we can make it useful to the present and the future.” – Frederick Douglass

“Only by acceptance of the past can you alter it.” – T.S. Eliot

YOUR PAST

“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?” – Mary Manin Morrisse

There are several people that will say, “Your past is your past. Leave it there.” While that does make sense, how are you going to understand who you are now if you haven’t figured things out from your past? Yes, you can change who you are, per say, but your childhood, early adulthood, things like that, still make you, you.

What movie are these two quotes from?

Jake ~ You can have roots and wings.

Bobby Ray – You can take the girl out of the honky-tonk but you can’t take the honky-tonk out of the girl.

Now, in Sweet Home Alabama, Melanie Carmichael had run off to New York to become a better person. She did not like her sweet southern life and wanted as far away from it as possible. But, when she had to confront it again, she found that it was HOME to her. And, THAT is growth. She had to try something NEW to realize how much she did love her past.

But, there are things that will have happened in your past that are not as heart warming as Sweet Home Alabama. If you have something that caused you harm, you will probably still have a “fight mode” in you. To have some of that in you, is okay, ONLY if you have learned from it. And no, I am not saying that if your husband beat you, that you should figure out WHY he beat you. What I learned, and it took me a few years to not flinch in certain situations, and to imagine me telling someone else, “You cannot hurt me more than he hurt me and I won’t let you. This time, I’ll kill you.” That is my bit of growth, I had to give myself the confidence that no one will ever do that to me again because I would step up.

Do you have something from your past that you have accepted and dealt with?

Is there something in your past that you have not dealt with that you feel is hindering your future?

LEARN TO SAY, “Why not?”

Example ~ You and your friend have been meeting at the same place every 1^st Monday of the month for three years. She says, “How about we try a different place on Thursday instead of Monday.” Our first reaction is generally one of, “What?!? Why would you want to do something different?!?” because we are naturally creatures of habit. But, what if we just say, “Why not?” and try it. What if you get there and realize that you really do enjoy meeting on Thursdays because it feels like a special “Friday Eve” and you’re not as tired as you normally are on Mondays. Not to mention that the atmosphere of this new place is really rather fun.

I’ve been trying to adopt this thinking and I use it from time to time when a new experience is presented to me. There are times that I start talking to people and they are surprised at how many little things in life I have done. I have to owe it to being able to say, “Why not?” I have ridden on the back of a motorcycle through the hills of Kentucky, I have skinny dipped in the Gulf of Mexico, I have ridden a snow mobile in to Wyoming, I have met an author whose book just touched me, I have danced with a zydeco band in New Orleans, I tried Indian food even though the first time I had it I didn’t like it, I sat front row listening to the legendary Darryl Strawberry tell us about how he had turned his life around… All of this may not seem like much but when you start looking at the little things in life, you realize that those are the moments that bring you happiness, having experiences in life.

Our beloved Shonda Rhimes wrote a book called, “The Year of Yes”. Her plans were to basically say yes to unexpected invitations.

I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, powerful, engaged people, are busy doing.

If I don’t poke my head out of my shell and show people who I am, all anyone will ever think I am is my shell.

The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tell you to.

The point of this whole Year of Yes project is to say yes to things that scare me, that challenge me.

This Yes is about giving yourself the permission to shift the focus of what is priority from what’s good for you over to what makes you feel good.

If I am not going to change, I have to move on. I can’t waste precious time hovering in the “I wishes” and the “if onlys”.

The next time a friend tries to set you up on a blind date, be like Shonda and say, “Yes!” The next time a friend suggests a random happy hour and even though you are already tired and just want to relax at home, say, “Why not?” The next time someone says that they are having to go to a birthday party and they really don’t want to go alone and would like for you to go with them, say, “Yes!” Don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you. Although this may not sound like your type of thing, how else are you going to experience life and find out if you don’t like it? This is your other example of “Atmosphere of Growth”. Being willing to open your mind to new ideas and new things.

Is there something holding you back from saying, “Why not?” or “Yes!”

Take care of yourself first so you can give your best self to others. When your journey becomes about self-growth, you will begin to find your happiness. That is when you will start to feel an acceptance of your past that will lead you in to wanting to experience all that life has to offer. The real compass is your heart, your soul. When your heart and soul jive with your thoughts, you can do this journey of self-growth by aligning your life with your personal values. If you are tired of living your life in such a negative way, change it. Make it a value of yours that you will move away from toxic relationships, search for peace, spend time with those you love. Find your value and focus on that. Do some soul searching. You may have to come to terms with your past to find that inner peace and you may have to learn to say, “Why not?” to experience new joy.

So, back to the original questions ~ So, what did you like to do when you were 10? Are you going to get back to having a bit of that carefree joy? The choice is yours.

Bible Verses When Struggling

February 23, 2021

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how I came to have these bible verses on my laptop. I’m sure that at some point, I was researching for either a Bible Study lesson or I pulled from a small notebook I used to keep in my purse. But, as I read through them, I felt myself relax and began to feel encouraged.

If bible verses aren’t your thing, I would still encourage you to take a moment and read through. I am sure you will find words that will speak to you and maybe even lift you up.

As always, if you feel yourself struggling, feel free to reach out to me at SwimmingWithTheRain@yahoo.com

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.

Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

The people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

He took up our infirmities and bore our diseases.

You of little faith, why are you so afraid?

Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven.

Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.

Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

I have compassion for these people.

Don’t be afraid.

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid…”

Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Don’t be afraid; just believe.

Everything is possible for one who believes.

But, Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Rejoice in the day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven.

When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.”

Don’t be afraid; just believe…

Do this and you will live.

What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life.

But, we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.

Stand firm and you will win life.

Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with… the anxieties of life and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap.

Pray that you will not fall into temptation.

An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.

Peace be with you.

And whoever comes to me I will never drive away.

This happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

It is when a person walks at night that they stumble, for they have no light.

You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts.

In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’

Otherwise, they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.

That you and I may be mutually encouraged by each others faith.

Therefore, the promise comes by faith.

But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

If God is for us, who can be against us?

In all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

We have different gifts, according to the grave given to each of us.

If it is to encourage, then give encouragement.

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.

For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them?

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit.

But, each of you has your own git from God; one has this gift, another has that.

I would like you to be free from concern.

But knowledge puffs up while love builds up.

But whoever loves God is known by God.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say – but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything” – but not everything is constructive. No one should see their own good, but the good of others.

Even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.

Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God.

Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.

For they refreshed my spirit and yours also.

Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But, this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God.

Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.

Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

In all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.

But God, who comforts the downcast…

I am glad I can have complete confidence in you.

God loves a cheerful giver.

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

God, Balance, and a Heart Chakra

July 14, 2020

One of the things that I exceed at is floating in a pool, and not just on a float (which if you have a graceful way to get on, please share). I’m talking about the kind where you lay flat on your back, arms at your sides, toes in the air… Quietly clearing my mind, focusing on my breathing, buoyancy supporting my body. After a bit, I no longer have to concentrate and I begin to stare up at the sky, letting the conversation around me continue as muffled sounds. As crazy as it sounds, I have a hard time balancing on my two feet but ask me to tread water, I can do that! Until this past summer…

I started to realize that something was off a few weeks ago, when I was unable to stay balanced while floating. My left shoulder kept pulling me down, which is strange because in the normal world, it felt perfectly fine. I tried to concentrate harder, I tried to not concentrate, I tried to pull down with my right side, I tried to pull up with my left. Nothing was working. I knew that I was fighting with some inner emotional turmoil but I did not put two and two together that this could affect me in such a way.

In frustration, I googled… I couldn’t find too much but what I did find led me to something about the Heart Chakra. The what?!? Nope. I am not going to buy in to that whole peace, love, and happiness craze… It’s just not how I was raised, and I think it goes against God. (Stay with me on this, please.) So, I push all of this new age information aside and head up to Indiana to see friends that have known me for over 20 years, because with them, I feel myself.

That first evening, with lightning bugs floating nearby and Jason Aldean coming out of the speakers, we swam around in the pool just laughing and feeling free. Out of habit, I immediately went in to floating position so I could stare up at the summer sky… Left shoulder pulled down. It’s never been A LOT, just enough for me to know that something isn’t right. A couple of hours and Rumplemintz shots later, a song comes on that reminds us of a dear friend that passed away several years back. We toast to him and smile…

But then something happens to me. I start to sob. And I can’t stop! For over 30 minutes, it’s like someone turned a faucet on in my eyes and they were just continuing to leak, THEY WOULD NOT STOP! I wiped away tears, I went underneath the water, I looked up at the starry sky… Nothing but tears.

The next morning, we all kind of laughed about my never ending crying, and chalked it up to the Rumplemintz mixed with the need to release pent up emotion. Yet, something had shifted in me… Exasperation had left my body. The angst I had been carrying of not being good enough, the fear of being the real me, the sadness of not being completely loved, the constant stress of the unknown with my job, the burden of trying to be everything to everyone… It was gone.

I was finally filled with an overwhelming peace and knew I was fully loved, right where I was at. Without being able to explain what I was feeling, I wanted to soak in the day and experience this feeling that felt so incredibly profound that words were not enough.

Without realizing it in the pool, I went in to my full body float and that is I had another discovery… I was laying completely still… Both shoulder blades where they needed to be, neither fighting for a different angle… Staring up at the Indiana sun, with a genuine smile.

A few days later, I sent my friend Marie a text to let her know I was heading back home. Her reply, “Are you sad? Refreshed? Rejuvenated?” I contemplated the best word to explain what I was going through… “Balanced. Does that make sense?” While that word made sense to me in a way, I still felt like I was meant to learn something from this. But, what? Not wanting to get in to this peace, love, happiness mumbo jumbo, I kept it in the back of my mind, yet it was pushing forward.

Thank goodness for my weekend pool days with Diana… She is my worldly traveler with an open mind, thinking before she speaks, but knowing she can be honest with me. Diana exudes a sense of wisdom and it is because of that, I have always had a natural calm around her. Explaining my release to her and brief findings of a heart chakra, but not sure what to make of it, I am 90% sure that she had a firm grasp on what I would find, but was confident that I would have to accept it myself… “You’re good at research. Look it up.”

What an intriguing lesson I found myself in the middle of… The heart chakra, when open to receive, is just between the shoulder blades, and your body takes in the energy of love, joy, abundance, forgiveness, trust, relationships… But, when this is closed off, a person will begin to feel apathetic, unforgiving, distrustful, and detached. The tension in the shoulder blades represents an inability to let go or forgive… Not just to others, but to ourselves. Finally, I found something that explained me almost word for word!

Here is where some would say that it gets tricky… How could I believe in something like this but also believe in God?

A gift had been handed to me as all of the pieces to this puzzle finally came together. These past several months and the struggle for connecting my thoughts all started to make sense… I have been working on putting my life back in to balance. I had not felt worthy of love, even from friends, and detached myself from anyone that I didn’t know if I could trust. By nature, I am a very distrustful person, always waiting for the ball to drop. Self-sabotage most would call it.

What I have realized the last several years, not everything is black and white. Just like when we are raising our children, they are not the same and generally need to be handled differently. Therefore, I believe that God allows us to learn in so many different ways, and that is what makes us unique. If you don’t think so, think about how one person feels God’s presence and has an ongoing conversation with Him while walking through a forest, but another feels it sitting silently in prayer. I have prayed to God to show me how to change my life and He chose to show me in a way that would bring me balance. By allowing God to explain to me that I need to allow love and trust in, I am still aware that HE is the one to nudge me and guide me to my purpose.

If your life is out of balance, I urge you to listen to your body. Is something feeling off? If so, pray, meditate, do whatever you do to help bring clarity to your life. Open yourself up to love and know that you are worthy of it. I promise, when you feel the answer, you will feel tension leave your body and it is quite profound.

Back Extension Machine

June 30, 2020

When I started back to the gym a couple of years ago (prior to knee injury and broken tailbone), I studied articles that would tell me about the most beneficial machines in the gym. You know the ones that will work out several muscle groups at one time. Yes, I made notes, because that is what I do.

But, as I made my notes and started looking, I noticed a trend. One of my favorite machines was listed as one of the most useless. WHAT?!?! I love the Back Extension!!! So, I am going on record to say, I DISAGREE!

When I started my first adventure at a gym back in 2010, (YMCA – my boys could do swimming lessons or play basketball while I was sweating away), one of the trainers told me that people with back pain really like this machine. So, I added it to my routine, to give it a try. A few different gyms later, with stretches of not going in between, it is still my favorite machine. I use it as my goal ~ “Do all of the other machines and then you can get to that one to stretch!” As soon as I sit down and make sure everything is adjusted to how I want, I do my first push back, hold it, and stretch, continuing with my 3 sets of 10.

Since being back at the gym 5 days a week and using this machine each time, I no longer feel tension in my back, I seldom have to “pop” it, the pain behind my left shoulder blade is gone, and it gives me a bit of an ab workout.

Moral of this story… You do you! Yes, the experts know a thing or two, but you know your body. I can’t workout with all of the hard bodies on the free weights, but I do the machines that work for me, and isn’t that what we’re supposed to do to feel motivated?

Starting Noom ~ What you will need…

June 25, 2020

Yesterday, my cousin sent me a link to Noom within facebook messenger. Just the link, nothing else. I replied back and asked her why she sent me the link, since I’m a little suspicious of links without a note. She replies back and tells me that she thought I would be interested since I’m trying to do healthy living. I had to giggle when I replied back, “I’ve been on it for over six months!” Well, she had just signed up so I started asking if she had this, had that, and her answers were no. I told her to give me a day and I would get it all together so here I am!

Keep in mind, these are MY suggestions. If you do not have these things and do not have the money to purchase, completely understandable. Learn to improvise with things around your home.

Obviously, you will need to download the app on your phone and set up your personal info. It’s pretty simple to do.

Purchase a bluetooth scale. This will download your weight to the scale app and also to Noom. I bought this for around $29.99 on Amazon. You’ll see a lot of people talk about the Renpho scale, which is basically the same thing. Here’s a link to what the bluetooth scale does… https://swimmingwiththerain.com/abyon-bluetooth-scale/

A food scale. Soooo important and very inexpensive. You will learn to learn it, love it, live it. In the app, you will be putting in the weight of your food to correctly calculate.

Yes, your phone more than likely counts steps. Maybe you have a watch that does it for you. If you don’t and you’re not sure if you want to spend the money on a Fitbit or something pricier, I suggest this. It has all the same basic functions as the others and comes in several colors. This does sync to the Noom app.

If you already have a water bottle, awesome! I have been using this one for over a year because of a few different features that I LOVE! There’s a handle which is pretty convenient. Time markers as a reminder. AND it opens with just the push of a button, no having to unscrew the lid.

A tablespoon. Sounds silly probably, but along with the weight scale, you will need to measure out salad dressing, humus, mayonnaise, all the fun things that will make a mess on the food scale.

Join a facebook group! This is the one that I joined and they are such a great support group. Before asking one of the many repeated questions, do a search. But, otherwise, post and ask away! https://www.facebook.com/groups/316063085812799

There! You are ready to start this weight loss journey and I know you are going to do great! Stay tuned because next, I’m going to tell you how the Noom app works.

FYI ~ I have not been paid for my endorsement of Noom or any of these products. All photos are based upon screenshots or purchases I have made from Amazon. But, if they want to throw some endorsements my way, feel free to email me. 😉

The Beginning of My Weight Loss Journey

June 19, 2020June 25, 2020

Why am I going to tell you about all of these things that happened in 2019? Because making the decision to lose weight can be a battle. It usually doesn’t happen over night, at least with me. I have to rationalize things in my head until it finally HITS me and I have my reason WHY.

January 2019 ~ My blood results came back and the doctor was not happy. Not only had I put on weight, but my blood sugar was at 190, which is in between borderline and high. Dr. C, the fitness fanatic, is not one to just say, “Here, take this!” which honestly, can sometimes drive me crazy! His instructions that day – “Go keto and go keto NOW! Drop some weight and your sugar level or I will HAVE to put you on meds.” Two months later, I did my follow up and I had lost 10 pounds along with my level going down down 40 points. Yay! “Keep at it, drop some more weight and I am confident that you will be fine.” Did I listen? Well, no.

April 2019 ~ I saw a photo of myself in a bathing suit, from the backside. I was mortified. How was this me? How did all this weight come on so quick within the past couple of years? Oh… Menopause. While I am so thankful to God for putting me in to it in my early / mid 40’s, I hadn’t stopped to realize what it was doing to my hormones. I was no longer the person that could just starve for a few days and lose those few pounds. Suddenly, those photos where I thought I looked fat, I wanted to be that size again!

May 2019 ~ I started back to the gym and told myself, “Yes, I can eat lunch out today because I went to the gym this morning.” (FYI ~ that’s a lie!) Then, the craziest thing happened… I was on a boat, lost my balance a bit, and my phone went flying in to the water. Not thinking in my head that the water was only two feet deep, I jumped. That’s when I heard a nice little pop in the right knee as I landed near my phone. I did good for a few weeks, keeping it up, icing it, trying to stay off my leg. But, while watching tv with my son, I got up off the couch, turned my body without turning my knee… Pop!

***This has become my life ~ knee up with an ice pack.***

July 2019 ~ My knee is still visibly swollen so I finally make an appointment with the doctor. After an X-ray confirms that it is not broken, he schedules me for an MRI with the instructions, “You can do anything you want to, but do not let your feet leave the ground.” Well, that leaves most things out. Why go to the gym? I hate upper body workouts so what’s the point, right? Stupid decision. My next stupid decision was not getting the MRI done because it was $200.

September 2019 ~ I had resigned myself to the fact that I was just going to let myself be fat and happy, thinking I was ok with that. I mean, I was finally enjoying all that delicious food that everyone talks about. But, when I came back from seeing my family on vacation, I saw the number on the scale and was in shock. I had never weighed this, not even with either of my pregnancies. Whatever, it didn’t matter. I had friends and if a man wanted to be a part of my life, he would have to love me for how I looked.

October 2019 ~ My knee brace was no longer a constant and I was starting to feel better as long as I didn’t stand too long, have it in one position too long, and wore the brace if I was doing anything that involved movement, so why not get a puppy? Since I wasn’t picking her up until around noon, a friend and I went to see the sunflower fields. We walked and the sharp pain wasn’t there for the first time, my knee felt great! The two year old going down the slide looked like he was having a good and made it look so easy, so why not? Bad decision! I really need to learn that when I say, “Why not?”, my answer needs to be, “DON’T!” Two year old legs are short, so when they come off the slide, their feet hit the ground. When you are 46, that doesn’t happen. Your feet go forward and your tush has to hit the ground. (My kids explained this whole gravity thing to me, but I blew them off when listening) Luckily, with the young child near, the words stayed inside my head instead of causing him life long mental damage and possible therapy. Yes, I broke my tail bone and there is nothing that can be done about it. So, my charming new puppy was welcomed in to my home by being put on the couch behind my knees while I laid on my side in the fetal position for two days. There went my plan to get back to being active! Honestly, being active or sitting or sleeping or breathing hurt. (Eight months later, I still have pain. My doctor confirmed that I jacked it up and probably should have had it looked at sooner, but that there really isn’t anything that can be done except time.)

***No part of your body should ever be bruised that color, especially your butt.***

November 2019 ~ By now, it was just easier to eat out instead of cooking and I generally rotated between Firehouse Subs or Panda Express since I could order online and they were near my house. If I had to run in to the store, those Totino pizzas are cheap and soooooo good! I live alone most of the time so why put all that effort in to cooking when it just wasn’t thrilling… But, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, about 30 minutes after having a Firehouse sub, it was not sitting well with me at work. Our unspoken rule at work is that “that” DOES NOT happen there. (Graphic, yes. Honest, yes.) Luckily, I live less than a mile away so I told them that I thought I was going to be sick and ran out the door like a crazy woman. Once I got home, I was pretty sure that I was going to die, convinced that it was food poisoning. But, the longer that I laid on the couch, the more I started thinking about the fact that I was eating fast food too often and that I needed to quit. I was feeling awful… Not just physically but mentally… Why was I telling myself that I was ok like this when I clearly wasn’t? I didn’t feel energy to do much of anything, my motivation was shot, I felt ugly inside and out… Now that everything in me was pretty much cleaned out, wouldn’t now be a good time to start? But, I needed help knowing that I could not do this on my own. I knew that I couldn’t do keto because I LOVE pasta and I didn’t want to give up fruit, plus I refuse to do any diet that tells me that I can’t have wine. That’s just sacrilegious right there! Wait! What about those Noom ads I had seen? I liked the thought of a coach and psychology… Let’s do this! So, I signed up for the free two week trial while I was laying on the couch depleted of any food I had consumed in probably the last 24 hours. I did what it suggested and ate like I normally did the next day, which happened to be Thanksgiving, and I logged every bite. I was in shock at the the amount of calories, but I also knew that this accountability thing was going to work. It wasn’t just me looking at my food intake, it was a ‘goal specialist’ and I was allowing her to see my weight. If you have ever truly struggled with your weight, you know that that is the hardest thing to do – let someone know your dirty little secret.

Oh! If you’re wondering if it was food poisoning, it wasn’t. About 30 minutes after eating, my oldest son was pretty convinced that he was going to die (reminded me how he is SOOOO like his dad when sick) and the majority of my office seemed to be out for a day on a rotating schedule for the next week or so.

Want to get started on Noom? Here’s what you need to begin YOUR journey ~ https://swimmingwiththerain.com/starting-noom-what-you-will-need/

The Five Finger Prayer

June 13, 2020

Fifteen years ago, I was telling a good friend of the prayer we would say for Daniel’s dad each night (he was Active Duty military and deployed to the desert)… “Dear God, Please watch over my daddy because we love him and we miss him.” From there, my sweet boy would add in anyone else he thought needed to be prayed for. Sometimes, it would take awhile as he was trying to delay bedtime. Or, perhaps… God put it in to his heart that these random people needed to be prayed for. While talking about this with my friend, she told me of the ‘Five Finger Prayer’ that her devout Catholic mother taught her as a child, and she had passed to her own children. I remember thinking how clever it was to have this reminder and printed out an example, to hang on my refrigerator. I came across it the other day and felt compelled to share the idea behind, ‘The Five Finger Prayer’.

First, begin your prayers with your thumb which is closest to your body. Your thumb represents your family and your friends ~ those closest to you. But, also pray for your enemies, for they affect your attitude towards your loved ones.

The next finger is your pointing finger. Pray for those that teach, instruct, and heal, such as teachers, ministers, and medical personnel.

The middle finger is the tallest and represents our leaders. Pray for our country and world leaders, business leaders, and even boss / co-workers.

Surprisingly, our ring finger is the weakest of all. You can never pray enough for those that are sick, or in trouble. Praying for those around us is a way of serving, which is an important part of our purpose.

By the time that we get to the pinky, which represents YOU, your prayers for others will have helped with the perspective of your thought process. You will be able to pray with a clear mind as you thank God for the blessings in your life, admit your struggles, and ask for guidance.

I like to think of the Five Finger Prayer as a way to ensure that I remember specific groups of people, even some that I wouldn’t remember in my daily prayers. For ease in teaching younger children about it, there are several coloring sheets that can be used, if you search google. Why not use this as a way to prove that power of prayer can help to change the world and our hearts.

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