The Gym after 5pm is not for me…

What a difference 12 hours makes in the clientele at the gym… Or maybe it’s just my personality that is different. Let me preface this by saying that if you are a gym hottie, gym babe, gym bunny, gym rat, body builder… Well, you get the picture. If you resemble one of those, read at your own risk because I may offend you. But, if you are just a normal person trying to lose weight and / or tone up, you’ll completely understand what I am talking about. Either way, I hope you stick around to the end, for my self-realization.

On a normal day, I like to go around 5am. Hence the term, 5am’er. As the sun is starting to rise, the gym is sporadically filled with little old bitties working with a rehab trainer, and those that prefer early morning workouts to start their day, or the ones like me that have to force this new lifestyle. Having overslept this morning, I decided that I would force myself to keep up my 5 day a week gym new found routine and go after work. Easy enough, right?

When I walked in, I felt like all of God’s perfect creations were staring right at me, beginning to judge, as soon as the key card was swiped. I looked around… This did not resemble my gym; you could see the difference in physiques, and feel the overly charged air! Did we have the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders in town? Where were all of my middle of the road people, my little old ladies, my men that would be putting on a business suit in a couple of hours? They were HOME and I was surrounded by all of the hot single people in this town. FYI it’s not such a thrill when you’re in your mid 40’s.

My heart stopped as I looked for my trusty almost always empty ellipticals! What in the world? Why were they all so full? Oh! Because the few men somewhat near my age were lined up, dropping sweat beads, while watching the young hot chick go through her hip abduction workout.

Generally when doing the hip abduction machine (one of my favorites), most people sit on their tush, grab the handles, then press out with their outer thighs. Not this little darling. Nope. I saw new ways to use this machine, reminding me of Channing Tatum dancing with a chair in ‘Magic Mike’. Yah, you get the visual. In between her reps, she made sure to get some stretches in, along with a few glances. The machine next to hers was the only one empty, the only thing going through my mind was, “Stare straight ahead, straight ahead.” However, as her ‘moves’ were in my peripheral, my brain was saying, “Oh, you can use the back of the head rest as a balancing tool while on your knees…” This isn’t the type of stuff you see from a 5am’er.

The unspoken rule at the gym first thing in the morning, no one talks! Even to people they know. I see a co-worker most mornings, and I started to feel guilty that I wasn’t even acknowledging her presence. So, at work, I explained that I am just focused on what I’m doing. “Do not apologize for that! You don’t even have to make eye contact. I just want to get through my routine.” Good! Glad we have that out of the way.

Like I said, us 5am’ers, we don’t talk. We’re all just busy doing our own thing, pushing through the sunrise without coffee, with headphones in our ears listening to something, or perhaps they are the noise silencing ones. I don’t know what they are doing because no one questions it. We make hand gestures if needed when walking towards the same machine or in passing, and even the owner just waves hello or goodbye, with a nod and a smile. But, not the 5pm’ers. Nope. It’s their time to chat, gossip, and compare macro counts. “Go to a bar for this and have a couple of drinks. In fact, grab a few appetizers while you’re talking!”, my head screams at them. Oh, wait! That’s why they look like THAT and I look the way I do. This really IS their version of Happy Hour!

Once again, I needed to use a machine next to one of these gym babes and since empty ones were hard to find, I walked up. Her condescending look basically said, “Um, what are you doing here?” My eyebrows raised as if in reply, “I used to look like you with the perky little boobs and flat stomach. But, this is what happens when you give birth to two kids and life gets in the way, you judgmental little…” Wait! Was she judging me the same way I had been judging her? Does she prefer the evenings because her friends are there and there is a more energetic vibe going on, everything completely different from why I like the gym early in the morning? So, I smiled warmly and turned up the current song on my playlist, (‘Mighty Wings’ by Cheap Trick. It’s on the Top Gun soundtrack. Excellent motivation!) and started my reps.

What did I learn today from watching these little gym bunnies, besides workouts go A LOT quicker when you just want to get out of that hormone crazed place? I realized that basically, we all want our own personal experience at the gym… Some really want that social experience, encouraging their friends, trading back and forth on equipment. While others, like me, want personal space to zone out and focus on themselves for just a short amount of time. I can tell you what we all want, though… To feel accepted… To not feel as if we are being judged on our muffin top that we are trying to lose, or our perky little body that those girls have to work HARD to have. We all want to feel like this is a shared experience with like minded people.

So, to you young girls with your rocking bodies… Enjoy it! Appreciate your smooth skin, the lean muscle, the ability to look gorgeous in leggings and a sports bra. Because one day, you may be covering up those stretch marked stomachs, and find that it takes a bit more effort as you get older. And you will understand why you just need your own time listening to a playlist with music from your thinner days, that will serve as a goal to strive towards… When your body was still young and healthy… Before kids… Before being afraid to sneeze in public… Before daily blood pressure pills… Before menopause… Young girl, I promise you that I will try my best to no longer judge you, because I have one thing you don’t have yet… life experience. I have rocked my crying babies, I have held the hands of loved ones dying, I have had that extra helping of dessert and enjoyed it without guilt, I have learned that a good education will only get you so far… I have lived! Unfortunately, you only start to realize that those were the experiences that shape your life as you cross in to your 40’s, when your body starts to soften, along with your heart. PS, let me be honest, I may envy your youth a bit, though.

With all of that said, I am now a confirmed 5am’er! (I have a tendency to learn things the hard way. Ha!) Tomorrow morning, I will throw on my gym clothes, pull my hair up, dab a bit of muscle ache cream on my plantar fasciitis sneaking its way in to my left foot, tie my boring grey sneakers with insoles and walk out with headphones on, listening Mighty Wings by Cheap Trick on the Top Gun soundtrack. And you better believe that I have a new determination… I will remember that I am working towards the confidence that those young ladies exude, as I enjoy my experience around MY gym people.

PSS, I can tell you one other thing we all need regarding the gym… A shower afterwards. Perky or muffin top. We all need a shower!