We want to hold on so tight to our children and just touch them and let them know how much we love them.

Your love is always there…  Let me explain…  I never understood what you were going through as our mom.  All of these years later, I am experiencing it.  Looking back on it, YOU prepared me for being a mom. 

You prepared me to fight for my oldest child at such a young age.  I didn’t want to go through the anguish of what I know you did ~ losing out on time with your kids, thinking it was for the best, only to realize the pain of what it is like to be away from the ones that you gave birth to and the guilt that you must have felt…  But, you also prepared me to do it with my youngest…  And now, I get it.  Doing something because it is for the best but still, the guilt…  The guilt can be unbearable at times.  My identity as a mom, just like yours was, is now down to every other weekend… 

If I could go back, I would have gotten up early on those weekend mornings and ate the breakfast you always made.  I realize now, you were needing to do that.  You needed to feel like a mom… 

Remember how you used to lay on the couch or even on the floor with us watching Full House and Family Matters?  But, teenagers…  they are a weird breed.  We think they don’t get it…  And because of that, I know the child’s point of view so I try to be a bit more patient, have those conversations that need to be had, and do my best to let my child know how much I love him.  We even have shows that just he and I watch together…

You, in your own special way, prepared me for this single mom life.  Because preparing a child for life and loving a child, is what makes a good mom.  I never had to earn your love or hope that it would be there if I was better at this or better at that…  I now know that your love was always there.  You even made our friends feel loved and you still do.

So, thank you.  Even when I didn’t act like it, I knew your love was there.  It always has been.  I always knew you would continue to love me, no matter what.  And remember, you were the one that I wanted to talk to each time after I had a child.  In those precious quiet moments, it was my mom I needed. 

I’m sorry that it has taken me so long to put all of this together.  But, I wanted you to know so you would never ever wonder again what kind of a mom you were when we were young.  Because of you, my lesson on how to be a good parent – “Just show them you love them and always will”