February 2021 – Swimming With The Rain

Reverse Gossip

February 26, 2021

We know that attitudes are contagious, whether positive or negative. I am kind of grouchy when I wake up and my family always adjusted to it. And then along came my first child. He was born happy! He would wake up from naps smiling and would just be so excited to see me. How could I possibly act cranky towards a sweet innocent child that was jumping up and down in his crib when I came in. So, I had to change my morning attitude but it was easy to do with him.

Of course we love being around those positive people because they make us feel special and we also find ourselves happier. For instance, you have the option to sit on the beach for the day with one of two people… One of them is a constant complainer. If you say that it is a beautiful summer day, they will tell you that it is too hot. The other one looks at things from a positive view point so while they may agree that it is hot, they will also add that thankfully you two can get in the water when you need to cool off. Or better yet, they brought ice cold beer with them. Tell us about a situation where you encountered having to spend time with either of these types of people and how it reflected on you.

If your attitude is contagious, can positive gossip be contagious? Of course it can! Look at restaurant reviews and word of mouth! With social media as the most powerful influencer, think about when a new restaurant opens and one of your friends goes in the first few weeks. There will always be a post about the service and food. From there, you may decide that you need to go very soon, or you’ll wait six months and let them get their kinks worked out and see if they’re still open. Which places have you NOT been to but have heard about? Which places have you been to and told others about your experience?

One of my favorite examples about reverse gossip ~ There was a woman in our social circle that always showed up for Bunco, outdoor concerts, girl nights, etc. For the better part of a year, no one seemed to befriend her. She wasn’t rude, in fact she was Southern and had that syrupy Alabama drawl. She was pleasant enough, but we never took the time to get to know her on a personal level. Finally, I decided that if she was going to keep coming around, I would create a goal for myself to find something to connect with her about. During a girls night dinner, we started asking HER questions instead of just including her in the conversation. Come to find out, she was a fascinating woman! She was a psychologist with the military, had travelled all around the world and experienced many different cultures. The friends that were there that evening began to share this with others in our social circle, and I began to watch the effect this had on other people, as even more women accepted her and made her feel included. It made me realize that our gossiping about how we weren’t really sure why she was still coming around, impacted those around us. Once we started spreading positive “gossip”, it changed the way others looked at her.

Here is an example conversation of turning negative gossip in to something positive…

John: Mary is really lazy.

You: I’ve never noticed that. She is talented, wouldn’t you agree?

John (Grudgingly): Yes, I guess so.

Later you see Mary at the coffee machine and the conversation goes as follows:

You: I was talking with John earlier. He was saying you are very talented (after all, he did agree to that, didn’t he?).

Mary: Wow! I didn’t know he thought that of me. I’ve always felt he was very judgmental and snobby.

You: Hmm, never picked up on that. Really hard worker, isn’t he?

Mary: Well, I guess you have to give him credit for that.

The next day you and John are talking and you happen to mention:

You: Mary was talking about how hard a worker you are.

John: Really? Didn’t think she liked me, but maybe she’s not so bad after all.

Now, the next time John and Mary cross paths they both see each other in an entirely different light, with a completely different attitude and set of expectations – one of peace, enjoyment, and kindness. And it all happened because of you.

Let’s try this game about “Reverse Gossip”. In this game, instead of telling people the gossip people say about them or others, let’s repeat only the good that people say (even if we have to “suggest” that good), and find reasons to judge others favorably in all other situations. If we spent more time speaking favorably about people, imagine the positivity you would create for those around you.

Would you rather be known for spreading hurtful lies or having a positive outlook? Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?

***The above was used in a guided group conversation. Similar to a bible study, but without the religious references. If you have questions on how to spark this conversation amongst friends, co-workers, or in a social circle, feel free to email me at SwimmingWithTheRain@yahoo.com

Life

Tell Yourself You’re Happy

February 26, 2021

When I was first married to the military, I came across Captain Yost. He was a tall, thin man and always very welcoming towards our young Enlisted family. Of course each time we saw each other, he would ask the obligatory “Hi, how are you?” and I would tell him about a teething infant or a husband that wouldn’t mow the yard. Yet, when I would ask him, he would reply with, “I am doing wonderful!” One afternoon while walking my teething child in his stroller, we saw Captain Yost out in his yard. Once again I asked how he was doing and he told me that he was doing wonderful. Puzzled at his happiness, I finally asked what made him feel this way, or at least answer that way all the time. His explanation, “Why not? I tell myself that I am happy and I believe it.” I haven’t seen Captain Yost since 1996 but his words still stick with me.

The definition for happiness is “the state of being happy”. Synonyms include ~ pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, cheerfulness, merriment, gaiety, joy, joyfulness, glee, delight, good spirits, lightheartedness, well-being, enjoyment. Come up with a few sentences off the top of your head that include one of these words.

Some people assume that just because someone seems to be happy the majority of the time, they are not in touch with reality or they are faking it. But, happiness is a choice. And when you decide to make that choice, you may have to work at it. I was talking with a friend the other evening, explained my concept that we all have a choice on how we react to things, and we talked in depth of how to deal with some of the frustrating people in his life. For instance, I told him to turn it around on them; that with the constant complainer, ask her what would make her happy in that particular situation. Obviously, some of my “instructing” worked. The next day, he dealt with a motorcycle that tried to cut him off in traffic and instead of getting mad at something that was beyond his control, he took a deep breath and went back to life.

Happiness is a choice, you cannot choose what happens, but you can choose your reaction to it and be happy. ~ RVM

Happiness is not by chance, but by choice. ~ Jim Rohn

The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering. ~Miguel Angel Ruiz

Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama

We all have hapiness inside and it’s not at all hard to find. It’s sealed deep in our hearts and guarded by our soul. You don’t have to beg to use it. All you have to do is choose it! ~Bebeth

An important decision I made was to resist playing the Blame Game. The day I realized that I am in charge of how I will approach problems in my life, that things will turn out better or worse because of me and nobody else, that was the day I knew I would be a happier and healthier person. And that was the day I knew I could truly build a life that matters. ~Steve Goodier

Though no one can backtrack and create a brand new start, Everyone is capable of taking their life in a brand new direction. ~ Germany Kent

Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy and you will be. ~ Domonique Bertolucci, The Happiness Code: Ten Keys to Being the Best You Can Be

Feeling happy or hurt by every little thing is a choice that makes life beautiful or ugly. ~ Archana Chaurasia Kapoor

Relationships matter. The roles people play in your life will influence you so get serious about who you allow to affect you. Nurture those relationships in your circle that foster success and happiness, and continuously position yourself among change agents and thought leaders. ~ Germany Kent

Living in happiness means practicing the dance of “detachment-attachment”. On a daily basis, we must sense which moments, which events, which people, thoughts and circumstances to detach ourselves from; and which ones to attach ourselves to. Learning this dance, and doing it well, leads to happiness. ~ C. JoyBell C.

When you decide to live in a state of happiness, it does not mean that you are not allowed to have other feelings, they just become less frequent. After a while, you will realize that you begin to look at experiences differently, recognizing that the stressors can be moments of opportunity and not opposition.

Happy people know their strengths and use those to build their confidence. Think of it as throwing together a big birthday celebration ~ if you get nervous talking to people but you are a really good cook, choose to be the one to create the elaborate meal, being able to stay behind scenes, and let someone else do the schmoozing. So, let’s get to know ourselves and toot our own horns for a bit ~

I like myself because…

I’m an expert at…

People say I am a good…

What I enjoy most is…

I have a natural talent for…

I feel good when I…

The traits I admire myself for are…

I feel peaceful when…

Use these things towards encouraging your happiness! Of course, it is always important to have an open mind but if you know that you enjoy being creative for instance, be creative! Wander around Michael’s or Hobby Lobby to get ideas. If you enjoy reading, join a book club to talk with other readers. Cooking big dinners could be something you excel at but you live alone… Well, invite others over to share dinner time with you. Feeling nervous about volunteering for something? Speak up! You know what you are good at and what you enjoy. Offer to do it. Just like having to deal with a kid’s sports team… Some moms are meant for the “Team Mom” position. I am not. But, I can cut up some oranges for half time. Do what you love!

To quote Aristotle, “Happiness is a state of activity”. Do you know of any truly happy people that sit home every day, all day? This may sound like a great thing to do but after awhile, boredom sets in, it’s the same routine day after day, they are no longer thriving. The happiest of people enjoy experiencing life, pursuing passions and building connections. Of course, it also depends on your mood. If you have had a hectic week, sometimes all you want is to just sit still for one night and stare at your tv. Does this make you unhappy? No. On the contrary, that might make you happy by re-energizing yourself. Then there are those particular days that you just feel rough and you need to make that connection with people to feel that confidence again. Start taking notice of when you need to be by yourself and when you need to be with people. Once you start paying attention to this, it will help to increase your happiness awareness. Tell us about what you do when you need to be re-energized…

Part of learning to be happy is being able to find the good in situations, the silver linings. Or it may not necessarily be the good but the lesson or trying to look at something with a different frame of mind. You have to be willing to see things from another perspective. Then you have to train yourself to quit thinking negative about so many things.

Years ago, I started this process and it was hard at times. For instance, if a car was speeding and weaving in and out of traffic, I would think to myself about how there really is the possibility that they just got a call that a loved one is in the hospital and they are trying to get to them. What about the mom that is half ignoring her child in the grocery store? Well, she may have been listening to that child all day and her patience level is really low so I smile at the mom to let her know I understand. Most recently, I lost my phone. I tried everything I could to get it back and finally had to give up. At one point, I remember standing there wanting to yell and scream but I thought, “Here I am telling people how they need to lead a more positive life and if I can’t practice what I preach, what good is that?” So, I took a deep breath and accepted the fact that my phone was lost. Yes, it did put a damper on the day, but I did not become as angry as I could have. What are some examples of things you have had to look at in a different light so you wouldn’t get upset?

One of my favorite places to shop is Fresh Market, and I tell people all the time that it is the most pleasurable shopping experience ever. When you walk in, there is something about the hardwood floor, the display cases, the smell… Just the whole atmosphere, including the classical music at the perfect volume. Stop and think about what your favorite places do to create a relaxing atmosphere.

The self-talk that you keep running through your mind is like the background music of your life. It plays almost continuously, like a constant chatter without necessarily a specific thought.

The self-talk may not be something that we say out loud but we hear it each time we look in the mirror, talk to a co-worker, text with a friend. We have programmed our mind to think a certain way and that is the only way it knows how to react. If each time a co-worker asks you a questions and you think, “You again?!?” this will put you in to a negative state. So, if our subconscious talks to us in a certain way and it is OUR subconscious which we trained, we need to reprogram it to think positive self-talk.

Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you. ~ Beverly Engel, The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused — And Start Standing Up for Yourself

The way you choose to think and speak about yourself (to yourself and others), IS A CHOICE! You may have spent your whole life talking about yourself in a negative way, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue that path. ~ Miya Yamanouchi

My challenge to you today is to observe your thoughts and internal dialogue and recognize if and when you speak poorly to yourself. We all have moments of self-deprecation and very often we are too hard on ourselves. Today, start to be caring and supportive of yourself. Observe that little voice in your head and say something positive to yourself instead! ~ Elaine Seiler, Getting Rid of Negative Energy

Don’t undermine yourself. The one person who should never undermine you, is you. Believe in possibilities. Believe in yourself. Believe you are capable. Engage in positive self-talk. Be an advocate for your betterment. Be your own friend. Be loving to yourself. Be forgiving to yourself. Encourage yourself. Celebrate yourself. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Let go of your limiting beliefs. You are capable of more than you think. ~ Akiroq Brost

The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill

A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes. Mahatma Gandhi

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results. Willie Nelson

Here we are and you are wondering what the point was in all of this rambling about happiness… Did it make you think? Did it make you realize how your words to yourself can make an impact on your mood?

Don’t necessarily lie to people about how you are doing. If your dog just died, you do not have to say you are doing wonderful. But, don’t complain that no one ever asks you to do anything, and then turn down every offer. Being happy also includes being grateful. Standing on your feet making dinner after a 9 hour work day? Be thankful you have a job and money to feed your family. Find the positive in situations. This is what you need to work on.

Final example – I recently moved from the warm beaches in Florida to the snow-covered Mid-west. Each time someone asks me what I think, I say, “I love it!” Do you know what they end up doing? Laughing, smiling, and we have started our conversation on a positive feeling.

The above was used in a guided group conversation. Similar to a bible study, but without the religious references. If you have questions on how to spark this conversation amongst friends, co-workers, or in a social circle, feel free to email me at SwimmingWithTheRain@yahoo.com

Health & Spiritual

Atmosphere of Growth

February 24, 2021

I was listening to a podcast one day and they proposed the question, “What did you like to do when you were 10?” Based on that answer, you may be able to figure out what would make you happy NOW. So, I started thinking about this and remembering how our joy was pretty carefree at that point in time. I researched this topic for two weeks and I wasn’t feeling the “spark” I normally get when I have hit on to something. So, I threw out my notes and started over with an open mind.

Instead of doing the research to have google tell me, I asked myself, “What is an atmosphere of growth?” To me, it is basically a couple of things ~ accepting and understanding things from your past and saying, “Why Not?”. For all of this to work, you have to be willing to open your mind a bit. If someone says, “Green is the greatest color!” but we all know that Purple is, ask them why they feel that way and listen. So, open your mind while we delve in to this.

“When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defenses to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. We cannot love when we feel fear…. When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all.” ― Gerald G. Jampolsky

“Hanging on to resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” – Ann Landers

“Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with you. You’ll see that no one else other than you was responsible. The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival.” ~ Osho

“The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.” – Caroline Myss

“I don’t regret difficulties I experienced; I think they helped me to become the person I am today. I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training; he doesn’t remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right.” – Paolo Coelho

“The past was always there, lived inside of you, and it helped to make you who you were. But it had to be placed in perspective. The past could not dominate the future.” ― Barbara Taylor Bradford, Unexpected Blessings

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” – Barbara De Angelis

“Never regret- If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” – Anonymous

“We have to do with the past only as we can make it useful to the present and the future.” – Frederick Douglass

“Only by acceptance of the past can you alter it.” – T.S. Eliot

YOUR PAST

“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?” – Mary Manin Morrisse

There are several people that will say, “Your past is your past. Leave it there.” While that does make sense, how are you going to understand who you are now if you haven’t figured things out from your past? Yes, you can change who you are, per say, but your childhood, early adulthood, things like that, still make you, you.

What movie are these two quotes from?

Jake ~ You can have roots and wings.

Bobby Ray – You can take the girl out of the honky-tonk but you can’t take the honky-tonk out of the girl.

Now, in Sweet Home Alabama, Melanie Carmichael had run off to New York to become a better person. She did not like her sweet southern life and wanted as far away from it as possible. But, when she had to confront it again, she found that it was HOME to her. And, THAT is growth. She had to try something NEW to realize how much she did love her past.

But, there are things that will have happened in your past that are not as heart warming as Sweet Home Alabama. If you have something that caused you harm, you will probably still have a “fight mode” in you. To have some of that in you, is okay, ONLY if you have learned from it. And no, I am not saying that if your husband beat you, that you should figure out WHY he beat you. What I learned, and it took me a few years to not flinch in certain situations, and to imagine me telling someone else, “You cannot hurt me more than he hurt me and I won’t let you. This time, I’ll kill you.” That is my bit of growth, I had to give myself the confidence that no one will ever do that to me again because I would step up.

Do you have something from your past that you have accepted and dealt with?

Is there something in your past that you have not dealt with that you feel is hindering your future?

LEARN TO SAY, “Why not?”

Example ~ You and your friend have been meeting at the same place every 1^st Monday of the month for three years. She says, “How about we try a different place on Thursday instead of Monday.” Our first reaction is generally one of, “What?!? Why would you want to do something different?!?” because we are naturally creatures of habit. But, what if we just say, “Why not?” and try it. What if you get there and realize that you really do enjoy meeting on Thursdays because it feels like a special “Friday Eve” and you’re not as tired as you normally are on Mondays. Not to mention that the atmosphere of this new place is really rather fun.

I’ve been trying to adopt this thinking and I use it from time to time when a new experience is presented to me. There are times that I start talking to people and they are surprised at how many little things in life I have done. I have to owe it to being able to say, “Why not?” I have ridden on the back of a motorcycle through the hills of Kentucky, I have skinny dipped in the Gulf of Mexico, I have ridden a snow mobile in to Wyoming, I have met an author whose book just touched me, I have danced with a zydeco band in New Orleans, I tried Indian food even though the first time I had it I didn’t like it, I sat front row listening to the legendary Darryl Strawberry tell us about how he had turned his life around… All of this may not seem like much but when you start looking at the little things in life, you realize that those are the moments that bring you happiness, having experiences in life.

Our beloved Shonda Rhimes wrote a book called, “The Year of Yes”. Her plans were to basically say yes to unexpected invitations.

I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, powerful, engaged people, are busy doing.

If I don’t poke my head out of my shell and show people who I am, all anyone will ever think I am is my shell.

The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tell you to.

The point of this whole Year of Yes project is to say yes to things that scare me, that challenge me.

This Yes is about giving yourself the permission to shift the focus of what is priority from what’s good for you over to what makes you feel good.

If I am not going to change, I have to move on. I can’t waste precious time hovering in the “I wishes” and the “if onlys”.

The next time a friend tries to set you up on a blind date, be like Shonda and say, “Yes!” The next time a friend suggests a random happy hour and even though you are already tired and just want to relax at home, say, “Why not?” The next time someone says that they are having to go to a birthday party and they really don’t want to go alone and would like for you to go with them, say, “Yes!” Don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you. Although this may not sound like your type of thing, how else are you going to experience life and find out if you don’t like it? This is your other example of “Atmosphere of Growth”. Being willing to open your mind to new ideas and new things.

Is there something holding you back from saying, “Why not?” or “Yes!”

Take care of yourself first so you can give your best self to others. When your journey becomes about self-growth, you will begin to find your happiness. That is when you will start to feel an acceptance of your past that will lead you in to wanting to experience all that life has to offer. The real compass is your heart, your soul. When your heart and soul jive with your thoughts, you can do this journey of self-growth by aligning your life with your personal values. If you are tired of living your life in such a negative way, change it. Make it a value of yours that you will move away from toxic relationships, search for peace, spend time with those you love. Find your value and focus on that. Do some soul searching. You may have to come to terms with your past to find that inner peace and you may have to learn to say, “Why not?” to experience new joy.

So, back to the original questions ~ So, what did you like to do when you were 10? Are you going to get back to having a bit of that carefree joy? The choice is yours.

All me

My Quarantine Diary

February 23, 2021

On my first day of Covid (did you just sing that to the tune of “On the first day of Christmas”? haha), I did a facebook post to mainly get the info out to friends, family, and anyone that I had been around. Then my phone started buzzing with questions via text and messenger. As Covid sucked up my energy, I used my daily facebook posts as a diary. I cannot even begin to explain how surprised and grateful I was for the reactions… It seems that a lot of people had questions about my symptoms and although mine was not as bad as others, it became an experience that people took an interest in.

One of the first messages I received was from a friend that is a nurse, with information about sleeping and meds ~ Take zinc, magnesium, vitamin D and C. Lots of water or Gatorade. And sleep on your stomach. Although the sleeping on the stomach is generally only used if in the hospital and having an issue with oxygen, I have asthma, and the first couple of nights, my concern was to keep this out of my chest.

The great news is, I was already taking these vitamins. After having the flu / pneumonia combo a few years ago, I began to research normal vitamins to build up my health. Zinc has been in my medicine cabinet for 15 years. I take it daily during flu season, if I’ve been around sick people, or if I start to feel run down. Magnesium is supposed to help my blood pressure and enhances my quality of sleep. My doctor told me awhile back to take Vitamin D since blood work showed low levels (come to find out, Covid patients that end up having awful symptoms, are low in Vitamin D). Then there is Vitamin C… Who doesn’t have this? This was supposed to the the cure-all when sick as a kid.

First, my personal disclaimer – I am not a doctor, so please DO NOT use this for medical guidance! Ok, here we go…

Day 1 of being quarantined… Well, when my boss ended up with Covid, I was fine. Unfortunately, with my co-worker having it, I’m not. I haven’t seen her since last Tuesday and figured all was good until I woke up this morning. Honestly, it felt like my allergies were bothering me, but then I couldn’t smell my body wash. No biggy because my nose was a bit stuffy from what I thought were allergies. Made a roast beef and horseradish cheese omelet and while eating that at work, I realized I wasn’t tasting the horseradish. And also started to realize that I still felt tired and a bit achy, that should have been gone with my morning meds. Went to a place that does rapid testing and they were awesome! 20 minutes later, results were back. She was so super nice and explained that it is transmitted when being less than six feet apart for MORE than 15 minutes. I’m not running a temp, in fact it was 97.7 while wearing leggings, boots, long sleeve t-shirt, sweater, and beanie. Proves I’m a bit more cold hearted than some give me credit for. LOL She did check my lungs and said that they were clear, which I am super thankful for. So, what have I done today? Cried, been in and out of sleep, watched NCIS LA… Can’t really smell and it seems that the only thing I can taste is Sweet & Sour and Sricha Mayo (not combined- haha). My boss is being fantastic with this and is not making me feel guilty. I know it’s not my fault but I have a tendency to feel guilty if I’m disappointing someone. Anyways, come to find out, he is required to pay me for 14 days of quarantine. If one of the other girls starts to work from home, I may end up going in to the office since I will be alone in there. I’m really surprised it took this long for me to get it so I’m glad I can get this over with. And now I need to finish adding to my online grocery cart so I can pick it up tomorrow. Good times!

Finishing Day #2 of quarantine… Woke up thirsty and had a sore back, but wasn’t really stuffy. Still can’t smell and can only taste the sweet & sour sauce (it’s really good on eggs, fyi). I don’t feel massively exhausted but just like I could doze… Best way to explain it… You know during the summer when you have had a couple drinks and you are laying in the sunshine and doze off for a bit and you feel like you just napped for an hour but it was only 10 minutes? That’s what this is like, can’t really get a super long sleep but don’t have the energy to do much else. Thank goodness for ION and their all day showing of NCIS New Orleans! A special thank you to those that have called, texted, or messaged to keep me entertained. Not sure how I’m going to handle another week and a half of this…Have a great night!

Finishing day 3 of quarantine… Still feeling groggy and especially today since I only had one brief nap. Something I’ve learned is that even if you don’t have any taste / smell, you still crave food. Last night, I wanted chocolate so bad so I made a protein chocolate waffle then realized there was no point because I couldn’t taste it. LOL I had an orange popsicle tonight which is shocking because I hate orange popsicles. (except for dreamsicles because those are amazing!) But since I can’t taste the orange, why not? I wanted spaghetti for dinner because when I am sick with a stuffy nose, I usually like that because the flavor is strong. Well, my cheeks could feel all of the red pepper flakes I put in, but nothing else. LOL Even added honey to my hot tea to sweeten it up, then wondered why. So, that’s been a whole learning process. When away from friends and family, ordering groceries online is the way to go! It did remind me of how thankful I am for my friends back home that whenever I need them to jump in with a meal for my family when there is an illness or death, they do so instantly. I didn’t cry though, so I’m making progress. Anyways, my grocery cart included yarn to start on a temperature blanket for the highs and lows since I’ve been here, a massive heating pad since my other one finally died after 18 years, popsicles, crackers, and coffee. (Even though I can’t taste it, I’m still refusing to use my yucky emergency stash).Today’s viewing pleasure has been Blue Bloods. Taken me a bit to get in to it but after 9 hours, I’m no longer looking at Tom Selleck as Magnum PI or Monica’s boyfriend. A special thank you to those that have went through this and have messaged me with what to expect and how to deal with it or meds to take. I have to admit though, I’m getting tired of my couch.

Finishing Day 4 of Quarantine… Same symptoms, different day. A little bit of a tickle in the throat that I’m hoping stays out of my chest, but I don’t feel like it’s anything to worry about. Little bits of pain pop in around my forehead, but it doesn’t seem to last long. I did have an emotional morning and had my own personal pity party for a bit, but I’ve realized that that is what I do when I’m sick. Today’s TV viewing has been Chicago P.D. Great show and plenty of eye candy. Goal for tomorrow? Hawaii 5-O. Thank you to all that have kept me entertained with texts and calls

Finishing Day 5 of Quarantine… Well, I woke up happy so something must be wrong. Just kidding. But, I did wake up rather pleasant. Decided that I was going to start my bed washing because that is what I do when I feel like I’m getting better… Wash everything in hot water and totally over dry! LOL And then the upset stomach set in, but luckily this was the only time there was this issue. It affects others more often and I just cannot imagine! For the most part, I’m feeling better. Actually did some crocheting, had a couple of phone conversations, and I had the energy to laugh. Not feeling as groggy so hoping I’m headed back to normal. Still can’t smell / taste. Still craving food. I’m telling you right now, when my taste is back, I’m having a burger for lunch and dinner will be pizza with a few glasses of Pinot Noir! Oh! And today’s viewing pleasure has been Hawaii 5-O. The lead guy is my new man crush. This is what happens when you haven’t seen another living soul in awhile.

Finishing Day 6 of quarantine… It’s been a rough one. Woke up emotional, thought I had energy to water, fertilize, and trim plants… Wiped out afterwards… Stayed emotional. I’m tired. I’m tired of having to cook for myself. I’m tired of not tasting food. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of having to add things to an online grocery cart so I can place an order that I need to pick up. I’m tired that the only thing I seem to have energy for is watching tv. I’m tired of crying alone. I’m tired of my legs feeling so achy. I’m tired of Ebby wanting to stay so close to me that I can’t stretch out and sleep well. But, I have to remind myself that I have a lot to be thankful for. I’m thankful that this is the extent of it. I’m thankful that I will recover. I’m thankful that every day I hear from my boss and co-workers. I’m thankful that this time of being quarantined has clarified my intuition of people… It’s been an eye opener for sure. So there. I’m just hoping that by reading this, if you know someone that is alone, you reach out to them. Don’t think that someone else is probably helping them, because that is what everyone else is doing, and the person is left alone. Please don’t put sympathetic words on here because I do not need any more emotions. Just reach out to people! If they’re sick, grab them a pizza or McDonalds or cookies or a homemade meal and leave at their front door. Or make a card and leave for them. Just acknowledge their presence. Single people when sick are completely shut off from everyone. There isn’t even anyone in the house to ask me if I want water. Ok, off my tangent… Today’s viewing pleasure has been SVU. No eye candy but I will probably have nightmares. It was the episode where Olivia is kidnapped and tortured that I just watched. Ugh!

Finishing Quarantine day 7… First of all, I want to thank those that reached out via messenger or text. Your prayers or words of encouragement mean more than you know. So, how was this day? Well, I started to get excited when I thought I could smell my body wash so I tried to smell it again… Nope. Made a cup of coffee and walked down to the river to look around and enjoy the view for a bit. I really do need a bench down there so I can just sit. Wouldn’t have made a difference since everything was covered in snow. I must say, I’m adjusting to this cooler weather and find it refreshing. Being that the groceries I grabbed last weekend were mainly dinner items and I’m out of eggs, (and can’t taste what I’m eating anyways), my meals are kind of weird. So, breakfast was sweet potato fries with Sricha Mayo for dipping. I can feel the heat from the Sricha, but not the actual taste. Had my first long nap today. Generally, my naps have been 10 – 20 minutes and I’m always groggy. But today, it was 2 hours and felt soooo good! I did dream that someone was coming in to check on me and I was upset that I hadn’t locked the door because I had no desire to see this person and I knew that my response to them waking me up from my nap was not going to be polite. Luckily, it was a dream and I continued to sleep. Tonight, I made homemade chicken noodle soup and started laughing because there I was opening each thing of seasoning, smelling, and throwing some in. I started laughing because I realized I can’t smell any of it! BUT, when I did have a bowl, I think I may have tasted a bit of the broth. That or I could just feel the textures and warmth. I’m feeling very clear headed this evening and hopefully that means I’m on the upswing. I’ll put in for a grocery pickup tomorrow because I will have a few more days of this and I’m wanting some fruit. And spaghetti. And tacos. And cereal. I just want food I can taste. LOL

Finishing Day 8 of Quarantine… One week of this. I almost have a routine for my mornings… Make coffee, sit on the hope chest in front of the bay window while watching the snow, return texts / messages, stare out the window, do some dishes… But, what was a bit different about this morning is that I could tell my coffee was strong. Lunch time rolls around and while talking to my oldest and eating Perogi’s (feta & spinach which are so good), I told him that I thought I might be able to taste them. A couple hours later, grab a couple of popsicles and I could remember why I wasn’t a fan of orange. Thinking I’m imagining this, I go to the next one and I could taste the difference. (Cherry. Soooo good!) Well, let’s try this and see if it’s real so I headed to McDonald’s and had the best tasting fries EVER! So, I’m so happy to say that my taste is back. Not at 100% but at least I can enjoy food again. I was told by a friend today that the mental toll this takes on people can be just as bad as the symptoms, which I feel is so true. Plus, as my co-worker and I talked about, the lack of smell/taste, makes you feel like you are going a bit crazy. Here’s the deal, when you’re sick, you just want a little bit of comfort. Whether that is soup, popsicles, tea… But, when you can’t taste the comfort… It starts getting to you. Sounds silly, I know. I left the tv off for the majority of the day and honestly, the day seemed to speed by. I’m not sure how because I didn’t seem to do much. But, I did grab a book from the unread shelf and I’m starting on Emma by Jane Austen. I think I read this years ago but can’t really remember. I’m just thankful that I’m not feeling as groggy so that I can actually concentrate. To those that have had this before, how long did it take you to get your energy back? I’ve had pneumonia twice, even once with the flu a few years ago when it was bad, and I’ll admit that this is not as bad as those. BUT, this is a consistent grogginess for days on end. So, is my energy going to come back with a snap of the fingers or is this going to take a few weeks? Thank you to everyone that has reached out and checked on me, or shared their covid story, or let me know they are praying. It is times like these that you see people for who they are and the true kindness in their hearts. For this, I will always be grateful. Have a great evening everyone and hugg your loved ones a little tighter!

Finishing Day 9 of Quarantine… My day started at 4am because I woke up with achy legs, which made me restless, because I hadn’t taken my nightly med combo including Naproxen. Finally decided to get up, make coffee, shower, do a load of laundry. That only lasted until about 7 because I fell asleep reading… Jane Austin takes a lot of concentration and I’m not sure if I want to devote that time right now. I offered to go back in to work on Thursday since that will be Day 11. Full day Thursday, half day Friday. I figure that will be a good way to get back in to this. They are aware that I have bouts of grogginess and since my boss still has the after effects from when he had it, they are understanding. Luckily, I have a blanket in my office so there may still be a few naps. As for taste / smell, I can taste, but barely smell. I did grab a pizza from Domino’s today when I did a grocery pickup and it was sooooo good! I’ll get back to healthy eating tomorrow. Oh! And for those that mentioned adding Jim Beam in to my online grocery cart and they will check ID when I pick up, not able to do that. In store purchase only. On Friday, I will be doing an in store purchase. LOL Even though I will no longer be contagious as of Thursday, I’m still taking it easy for another week and will keep myself between work and home. I think I need time to get some of my energy back and get ahold of my thoughts from the past week. This past week honestly feels like it has flown by. When you spend several days in a groggy state of mind, not a lot is remembered. If this happens to you, I highly suggest stocking up on Vitamin D, Zinc, Vitamin C, Magnesium, and Naproxen (which is Aleve and lasts 12 hours). I already had those on hand because I take them every day. Find a comfy spot in front of a tv and “learn it, live it, love it” because you’ll be there for awhile. And find people you can text with because that will help to keep you busy and from going completely insane. Thank you for all the love, prayers, and kind words. Stay healthy!

Finishing Day 10 of Quarantine… Last Day! Yay!!! Thanks to my grocery order yesterday, I was able to have a proper breakfast this morning that included eggs. Today was movie watching day since I was forcing myself to stay awake. The 15:17 To Paris, The Best Excotic Marigold Hotel (and the second one), How To Be Single, and Hope Springs. It felt good to watch happy shows instead of gathering ideas on how to hide the bodies. Honestly, I would say that I am back to normal, except for the low energy, which will slowly come back. My temper is a little flared these days. But, when you’re stuck on a couch for 9 days… I never intended to document this on a daily basis. But, it became therapeutic and it was an easy way to keep family and friends up to date. I can never express all of my gratitude to those that reached out to check on me, ask questions because somebody they know has it, thanked me for sharing my story, or to offer prayers. One of the things I wanted to make clear with my daily updates is that while there is a slim chance that this virus can do severe damage, the majority of the time, it is just like this. So, if you do end up with it, of course be cautious as you would with the flu, but you don’t have to fear it. Thank you to everyone for the love and now I am off to bed so I can get ready to head back to the land of working people.

Day 11 – Well, back to work I went today. The alarms had such an awful sound and I could have had an additional day and a half to rest, but I figured it would be good to ease in prior to the weekend. A company did come in within the past few days to spray everything down to kill all germies, so that is a bit of a comfort. The boss bought Chinese food for lunch, so that was a nice break to sit with everyone, have conversation and catch up. But, once 1pm came around, I really really wanted a nap and they knew that. I could have left, but I’m not about to drive 30 minutes when sleepy. So, I’d close my eyes and listen to whatever song was playing and when it was over, I’d have a bit of a second wind… And third… And fourth… LOL And finally, I’m home and my eyes are exhausted but my brain and body are thankful to have done something productive. Hope everyone had a great day!

One month later… The week after my quarantine, I started to walk my dog down the street a bit, then head back. Each day, we went a bit further. While my energy is completely back (and better than ever thanks to at least a mile walk every day), my smell is gone. Every now and then, I might get a whiff of something, but it is faint, then gone. I really don’t notice the lack of it until I hear someone say, “That smells so good!” But, it is what it is. I know that it could have been so much worse. Have I changed my “ways”? I still wear my mask when required, and I still try my best to stay away from sick people, and I Lysol everything on a weekly basis. The last two is due to my allergies and asthma. Not to mention, I just don’t like being sick.

God

Bible Verses When Struggling

February 23, 2021

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how I came to have these bible verses on my laptop. I’m sure that at some point, I was researching for either a Bible Study lesson or I pulled from a small notebook I used to keep in my purse. But, as I read through them, I felt myself relax and began to feel encouraged.

If bible verses aren’t your thing, I would still encourage you to take a moment and read through. I am sure you will find words that will speak to you and maybe even lift you up.

As always, if you feel yourself struggling, feel free to reach out to me at SwimmingWithTheRain@yahoo.com

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.

Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

The people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

He took up our infirmities and bore our diseases.

You of little faith, why are you so afraid?

Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven.

Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.

Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

I have compassion for these people.

Don’t be afraid.

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid…”

Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Don’t be afraid; just believe.

Everything is possible for one who believes.

But, Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Rejoice in the day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven.

When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.”

Don’t be afraid; just believe…

Do this and you will live.

What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life.

But, we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.

Stand firm and you will win life.

Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with… the anxieties of life and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap.

Pray that you will not fall into temptation.

An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.

Peace be with you.

And whoever comes to me I will never drive away.

This happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

It is when a person walks at night that they stumble, for they have no light.

You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts.

In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’

Otherwise, they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.

That you and I may be mutually encouraged by each others faith.

Therefore, the promise comes by faith.

But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

If God is for us, who can be against us?

In all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

We have different gifts, according to the grave given to each of us.

If it is to encourage, then give encouragement.

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.

For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them?

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit.

But, each of you has your own git from God; one has this gift, another has that.

I would like you to be free from concern.

But knowledge puffs up while love builds up.

But whoever loves God is known by God.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say – but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything” – but not everything is constructive. No one should see their own good, but the good of others.

Even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.

Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God.

Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.

For they refreshed my spirit and yours also.

Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But, this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God.

Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.

Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

In all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.

But God, who comforts the downcast…

I am glad I can have complete confidence in you.

God loves a cheerful giver.

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

Life

Ending 2020 With A First Date

February 13, 2021

I had a first date on New Years Eve. But, why is this such a big deal, you may wonder. Plenty of people have dates NYE. Well, being that I haven’t had a date in 2 1/2 years… I like to think it’s because it’s because I made a choice to not date until I moved away from Florida. Then again, it could be because I have a tendency to take an interest in emotionally unavailable men. No, not the married ones. Just the ones that aren’t ready for relationships. Wow! Feels almost liberating to admit that. Anyways, on to my date.

Probably need to add in the other detail about not dating until I left Florida. I knew in my heart in 2018 that I would start my plan to move to Indiana within the next couple few years. Was I really wanting to date someone in Florida knowing that if I fell for them, it could ruin my future plans? I made 2019 all about spending time with my friends and enjoying the single life. So much so that it wore me down by 2020… Probably a good sign.

I have a tendency to refer to dates with “code names”. There was the gay guy, catastrophic adjuster guy, southern boy… You get it. This one is “Train Guy” since he is some kind of Electrical Engineer for the Rail Road.

How do you line up a date in 2020 when you have just moved to a new state, Covid is in full force, and you’re not one to sit at a bar and wait for Mr. Right Now to buy you a drink… Bumble! So, it’s kind of a cool dating site because only women can start the conversation. That doesn’t mean there aren’t creeps… I have been offered to join a marital bed, been told sizes, and asked how I feel about cuddling and showing affection. But, you weed through, have a bit of a conversation, and take a chance.

FYI – If you’re a man and you start your dating profile off with, “My kids are my everything!”, I will move on! Your kids should be your focus, but if you have to admit it, you’re just trying to prove that to yourself. Also, my uncle told me when I was 15, “If a guy has to say that he’s not a pig, he usually is.”

Back to Train Guy… He was actually the first one I started chatting with. We’d chat every so often, nothing major. But, the conversation weaned off when my son was in town, and obviously, he was my focus. A couple weeks pass by and I get a Merry Christmas message and I replied back with the same but no response. Moving on to a Dax Shepard podcast (Armchair Expert – my favorite!) There is a segment with 10 parts about Monica and her getting advice on her dating life. She’s pretty reserved so one of her challenges was to just hand her name and number to someone that she felt a connection with. Hmmm…. I have never done that before. You mean, I should try and put myself out there? And then it clicked. I sent him a message with my phone number and said if it’s easier to communicate that way… Guess what! It was!

We texted briefly throughout the day and he asked if I’d like to meet sometime. I told him that that sounded like a great idea and then he suggested we actually talk on the phone. What?!? So 1990’s! haha If you haven’t dated in awhile, let me explain something… The sound of a voice can make a difference. Have you seen the movie Grown Ups? Remember the scene where the moms are sitting at the water park checking out the hot life guard and when he walks up, his voice sounds like he had just sucked the helium out of the balloon? Luckily, Train Guy had a nice voice and we chatted for about an hour, comparing notes on what we thought of the area (he just moved here, too), and how much he loved Florida. I asked him what his job was and he said that it is hard to explain, but if I’ll meet him for dinner the next night, he’ll explain. I asked if it involved salt and pepper shakers, to which he laughed and said, “Maybe.”

Since I haven’t been on a date in years, I wasn’t sure what to wear. Do I want to impress the guy? Sure! Do I want to look like a floozy? Goodness, no! I texted my good friend, Jenn, for her input and I was lucky enough that her husband threw his in, too… “Straight hair, jeans, white button-up shirt.” Since I don’t own a white button-up shirt and I felt too fat for jeans, I compromised… Straight hair, black leggings, loose brown sweater. Here is why… I decided that I was going to go with what I felt confident in because that is what matters, confidence!

Luckily, he looked like his photos and it was an enjoyable evening. I kept it to one glass of wine while he drank iced tea. (There was a possibility of having to get called in to work due to an impending ice storm.) I already had a feeling that he was somewhat shy, so as soon as we sat down, I handed him the salt and pepper shakers and asked him to tell me about his job. For three hours, we sat across from each other, but I realized later, I didn’t do much talking. If there was ever a lull in conversation and I would look at him, he had a smile on his face and a “smitten” look in his eye. The problem is, I wasn’t giving him back that smitten look.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the evening. Dinner was nice, atmosphere was quite relaxing, the glass of wine deserved to be drank twice, conversation was even enjoyable. What I realized is that we were just having surface conversation and I was asking all of the questions. No, I don’t need to know all about your childhood trauma or reason for divorcing on the first date. But, what I have learned in my years of experience is that I am not a surface level conversation type of gal; I want to know what makes you click.

We texted off and on for the next week or so and he really is a nice guy. Train Guy is one that I would call to go have a beer with, or go walk trails with. Something where maybe there doesn’t have to be a lot of conversation because he does put off a rather calm and peaceful vibe.

Flash forward a month later and I join a hiking facebook group and ask a question about starter trails in the area. Guess who likes my post and friend requests me… Train Guy. So, we know how to find each other but neither of us have reached out and I am perfectly ok with that. He really was a nice guy and a perfect gentleman (made my mother happy) but I didn’t feel like he would be one to appreciate my spontaneity or upbeat mood. I get the feeling he is kind of Eeyorish and maybe he needs someone like me to put a spark in him… Notice I said “someone like me” and not me…

I put a hold on this online dating thing for a bit. I ended up with covid and since I didn’t have anything else to do for 9 days except lay there and think, I realized that I am happy being alone. I’m not ready to give up my evenings of reading after work, or waking up at 6am on Saturday and going to the gym. Would I like someone to go and grab a beer with if the mood strikes? Sure. I’ll tell you what… When my shelf of unread books is empty, I’ll try this dating thing again.

Now every time I hear a train, it’s not him that I think about… I think about how I am strong enough to give myself a chance.