Chasing Amy, 1997

I was trying to figure out why I hadn’t seen this movie in 1997 when it came out. Oh! I had a young child and was knee deep in the Disney Channel, not movies about 20 something year olds that I could not possibly relate to. But, here I am all these years later truly appreciating what I am seeing on screen.

Here’s the synopsis that Netflix gives this movie ~ Comic book artist Holden meets the perfect woman, only to learn that she’s a lesbian. But, that doesn’t stop him from falling in love with her. So, why do I want to watch this movie? I’m not in to comic books, and I have no desire to watch a guy fall for a girl that he can’t possibly get, because I’m just not going to understand. I was wrong.

Holden McNeil: I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. And it’s not because you’re unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You’re the epitome of every attribute and quality I’ve ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you’d ever consider. But I can’t do this any longer. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship – no pun intended – but I had to say it, because I’ve never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn’t allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I’ll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not suppress that – at least for ten minutes – and try to dwell in it before you dismiss it. There isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who’s ever made me the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it’s there between you and me. You can’t deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of you and what you’ve meant to me, which – while I do appreciate it – I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

That. That right there… That is either the speech that we have wanted to hear all of our lives or maybe we’ve said it… If Netflix or some other movie site had given me that synopsis years ago, I would have jumped on the bandwagon a long time ago. What I learned is that this movie is part of the Kevin Smith and View Askewniverse world he has going on with Jay and Silent Bob movies, which I have never seen. Then again, if you would have told me that it was by the guy that did the Jay and Silent Bob movies (Kevin Smith IS Silent Bob), I wouldn’t have watched because stoned out people are just not my type of movies to watch. Alright, back to Chasing Amy.

Notes I made about what jumped out at me (besides the awesome speeches and one liners)

• In the early scene with them signing autographs, not only do you see Ethan Suplee who played Louie Lastik in Remember The Titans in 2000, you see a young Casey Affleck.
• Awwww… the whole pagers era and having to find a quarter to make that call.
• Interesting, Alyssa’s friends referred to it as “The Pronoun Game” when she was referring to Holden as someone, they, etc., so she wouldn’t have to say that he was a male.
• When they were laying cuddled up in bed and his hand was playing with her shoulder, I was hit with this true sense of intimacy.
• When Alyssa yelled at Holden in the parking lot… She nailed it! I truly felt that raw emotion and you could hear the scrapes in her voice as she was letting him know how she felt.

Alyssa played by Joey Lauren Adams – I always really liked her. She looks quite similar to Renee Zellweger but seems more approachable. Then again, maybe they look similar to the whole late 90’s rom com scene. I recognize her more from playing Adam Sandler’s love interest in Big Daddy and playing the friend or sister (can’t remember which one) of Jennifer Anniston’s character in The Breakup.

Jason Lee as Banky is the one that I kept looking at knowing that I knew who he was but I just couldn’t picture it yet. Such a good looking man! As soon as the movie was over, I typed his name in to google and there he was! How could I not know this?!? He’s Dave Seville on Alvin and The Chipmunks (I told you I was raising kids) and My Name is Earl.

So, great movie once you get past all the raunchiness in the beginning, it is so well worth watching! Quotes from the movie that just really hit me…

Silent Bob: So there’s me and Amy, and we’re all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a really dumb move. But you know how it is: you don’t wanna know, but you just have to, right? Stupid guy bullshit. So, anyway, she starts telling me about him… how they fell in love, and how they went out for a couple of years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… and I’m okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times, while they were going out, he brought some people to bed with them. Ménage à trois, I believe it’s called. Now this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sort of thing. I mean, I was raised Catholic, for God’s sake. So I’m totally weirded out by this, right? And then I just start blasting her. Like… I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling, so I figure the best way is by calling her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I’m… I’m out for blood. I really wanna hurt this girl. I’m like, “What the fuck is your problem?”, right? And she’s just all calmly trying to tell me, like, it was that time and it was that place and she doesn’t think she should apologize because she doesn’t feel that she’s done anything wrong. I’m like, “Oh, really?” That’s when I look her straight in the eye, I tell her it’s over. I walk. No, idiot. It was a mistake. I didn’t hate her. I wasn’t disgusted with her. I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small, like… like I’d lacked experience, like I’d never be on her level, like I’d never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I’m saying? But, what I did not get, she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for that guy anymore. She was… she was looking for me, for the Bob. But, uh, by the time I figure this all out, it was too late, man. She moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away. So, I’ve spent every day since then chasing Amy… so to speak.

Alyssa: You know, I didn’t just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it’s the natural way, that kind of thing. I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just *gets* you – it’s so rare. My parents didn’t really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn’t. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy. And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you *were* a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who’d complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, ’cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn’t look. And for me that makes all the difference.

Holden: If this is a crush, I don’t think I could take it if the real thing ever happened.

Alyssa: Maybe you knew early on that your track was from point A to B, but unlike you I was not given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all! That is until we, that’s you and I, got together and suddenly I was sated!